To be impressed by my perfect friend?

[Birdspa]

I have a friend who dresses perfectly. She looks like she's stepped out of a magazine. She always looks classy and perfectly turned out. Her house is immaculate too with absolutely NO CLUTTER, everything is laid out beautifully like a show home. I know this is not a natural way to live, but how can I stop myself thinking that's what I should be aspiring to? How can I stop the silly comparisons and just accept that I don't look/live like that?!

I have a friend with a show room but she doesn't like anyone being in it. We always have to meet elsewhere unless it's sunny when we can ushered through the back gate and into the garden. As a result, our friendship won't progress further and I've become reluctant to allow her round mine as I imagine her judging. So there is a price to pay as she is not local and actually would like some good friends.

I agree with Something - how things look is obviously incredibly important to her, so she's willing to devote time/money/effort to realising that.

The question isn't what's important to her, but what's important to you?

For me, it's about having time to do certain things, which includes writing and seeing friends and spending quiet time with DS and DH. Those are my priorities and I do it successfully tbh. But my house is a heap and I haven't done my filing for months and I really wanted to get my tax return looked at this month. Meh.

If you are doing well at the things that are important to you then there's no need to worry about what anyone else is doing. I bet she thinks 'I wish I could do x like Bird' too, but if she is actually quite serene I think she's probably worked out that the secret to life is trying to do no more than 3 things very, very well. (At least, that's my secret!).

We're all different.

I wouldn't presume anyone is happier or unhappier than someone else based on the state of their home (unless it is in serious disrepair and a symptom of something else). I also think some people are naturally well-groomed and it takes them very little time to achieve the results it would take most people an hour or two to achieve.
FWIW, my SIL has an immaculate home and garden, cooks like Delia, has great hosting skills and is incredibly sociable and good fun. She doesn't sob herself to sleep on her starched pillowcases (or if she does she hides it very well!).

I do understand how you feel, though, I think we all have people in our lives where we feel a little in awe or envious or insecure around but like Worra said, you can only try to live your life the way you wish to.

OP - you're describing my sil!

From the outside, perfectly presented, immaculate clothes, hair, nails etc; house is showhome standard, garden is fabulous.

However, her dh has issues with 'untidyness' of person and home, and he constantly dusts/cleans the house and nags her and his dd about their 'mess'.

I know other people are intimidated/in awe of them as a couple because of this, but they are judging themselves based on the outward appearance of others. Not a healthy thing to do.

she has 2 DCs but you wouldn't know it when you go there. There's not a toy in sight or a book/magazine on the side, nothing.

well that doesn't sound 'perfect' to me.

I like a bit of clutter, I like to look around and see evidence of my family. I like to be reminded of them even when they are not here.

When you embark on any kind of project, or give time to stuff, you have to stop doing or give less time to other stuff. Is not too hard choosing priorities, seems harder to give them the time rather than other people's priorities (eg visits to inlaws!) and day to day things.

I am currently envious of slim people, and have been stealthily observing and gathering tips!