why do people behave like sheep?

[vegasislikeblackpool]

I've been friends with a group of women for a few years. I had a very very minor disagreement with her recently, well it wasn't a disagreement really, more a difference in opinion. We didn't fall out. Just realised tonight she, and several of the others, that weren't even there at the time when we disagreed, have deleted me on FB. I feel like she's gone running to them and told them all kinds of lies, but they are even worse in a way for believing her and just deleting me without making their own judgement.

I've always got on fine with her, but she is a drama queen and very much the alpha female of the group.

I feel really upset

Yes I agree they sound sad and pathetic. Why bother about these people? Your not a sheep find new friends who can offer you friendship. To fall out with you just because you dont want to get a job is really babyish. Does she and all the other women work? It could also be in part about jealousy.

De friending is kind of a big deal when proper friends do it. If an acquaintance does it I don't really notice or care.

There are ways of using Facebook to mange how much content you share, and what you read aurynne.

I think defriending someone that is more than an acquaintance is a bit off, especially without explanation. You prove the point when you say that you defriended then since you are not interested in what they have to say. So yes, it is a disrespect IMO.

*Manage Ffs.

Autocorrect changes FFS to FDA which in my brain was 'fucking Aida'. I quite like that

aurynne I think if you've recently friended a lot of people you don't really know and then defriended them collectively for your own reasons. That looks like you have made a decision as an individual and are managing your own FB profile as you see fit.

Being defriended collectively by a group of people you consider to be friends within 3 days of a minor disagreement with another friend suggests that it isn't an individual decision, but a collective one.

Which is very different.

OP I agree it does sound as though you are better off without them! I understand it's hurtful, but it might be time to start finding yourself some nice people to hang around with. :)

Maybe her and the other sheep have decided that you are anti working mum: And as such have made a dramatic 'stand' against your extreme opinions on the matter. I bet she has made you out to consider yourself a saint for being at home with your kids, and do they want to post on fb about work, when you will read them and think they are lesser people. Women are nasty, and I have been involved in arguments even more petty than this. Cut ties, and be glad to be rid of them.

ignore them. forget them.

it happens too often. i used to travel to work by train. every day i'd see a group of women who were loud and bitchy - really bitchy. they were led by one overgrown playground bully (let's call her marilyn - oh,no, that was her name, let's call her marjorie instead) and they did everything they could to suck up to her. not one of these women was under 45. a bunch of sheep.

it happens here, too.

Hi Vegas, hope you are ok. My experience of situations like this is thus. I have been a SAHM for a long time as well, around eight years on and off with part time jobs in between. It is not always easy, lack of money etc has been a problem and some "friends" can say "why don't you get a job". For many reasons this is has not always been possible, lack of part time opportunities, jobs not being suitable for my skills etc. I have been around these alpha mums who think that it is their lifes work to "sort you out". These people can be so toxic. You have been put in a terrible situation and I really would walk away from it.

Ooh yes, I've noticed this kind of thing too.

There's a school gate clique where I am and there's one particular woman, that for some reason they all seem to really dislike. To the point that they've slagged her off in public outside of the door (I assume they keep most of their usual bitching behind closed doors).

Somewhere along the line I think one of them decided they didn't like this woman, and now they all don't like her. I mean, why? Can't you form your own opinion??? Isn't it possible for you to say "I know you don't like her, X, but I think she's alright".

Groupthink! I hate that kind of mentality anyway. But when it's done for the purposes of singling someone out it's bullying and it's disgusting. And all of these women have DDs of their own who they would be horrified to see on the receiving end of such behaviour. Even if you can't stand her, how about a bit of positive role modelling - you not liking something doesn't mean you don't have to show them a bit of respect.

OP - if something like what happened to you happened to me I would be really upset too. You did nothing wrong. They're bitches and not worth knowing. Which is easy for me to say as I'm not on the receiving end, but really they aren't worth a minute of your time.

How rude of her to make comments like that! I can see how a discussion like that could easily be reported to others in a in an exaggerated way, especially to other mums who have jobs outside the home.
I definitely wouldn't say anything to anyone - pretend you haven't noticed and carry on as normal. There could be other reasons completely unrelated to the discussion you had with this woman.
I think the fact that you think this could have started it all speaks volumes about how this group of friends behave and I would start questioning if these are friendships I would want to continue putting effort into.

Whilst FB is not a major part of my life, I go on there once or twice a month at the most, I do think that de-friending someone can be quite meaningful, especially if that person is a big FB user.

Its very passive aggresive and cowardly. In the old days you would have to tell someone that you were pissed off with them but now you can do a nice easy de-friending without having to say a word to the person face to face. It was done to me once, I met up with an old friend and it was weird, awkward somehow in a way it hadnt been before, and the next day she de-friended me. No idea what it was all about, and she has refused to speak to me since then. Its very childish, the new millenium version of sending someone to Coventry.

OP, I think that is horrible, here and here These women have acted pettily, cowardly and spitefully towards you. I wouldn't be surprised if you did not want to have anymore to do with them.

If you are prepared to give them another chance or to listen to their explanations, I would contact the one you get on with best and have a quiet chat. It is childish but if the other woman said you slagged them off, this might have upset them enough to defriend you, thinking it was true.

I'm not sure ignore, ignore, ignore is always best - Im not suggesting an argument but just a chance to explain your own side in your own words. Adults should behave like adults and communicate.

Whatever you choose to do, i hope it goies well x

Pretend that you haven't even noticed... that should annoy them even more. Ignore them and get new friends.