To be fuming with DS?

[Superduperdoo]

I'm so bloody cross with my 15yr old Son! OH's Mum is in intensive care, really poorly. We only found out this morning and went to see her. I took the 6yr old and left the 15yr old at home with the kitten. (He didn't want to come and it's not his GP)

I asked for 2 things when i was gone. 1 to feed the kitten wet food at lunch and tea times, make sure his water and dry food was full. 2 to wash up any dishes he dirties.

We get home a couple of hours ago, absolutely exhausted to find lolly wrappers all over the sofa and living room floor, the kitchen a disgusting mess, i don't know what he's done to the hob but it's got food all stuck to it dispite me cleaning it last night. The kitten had 3 pieces of dried food left and the wet food congeled in his bowl from when i've fed him this morning.

He still hasn't washed up and has taken himself off to bed claiming he's too tired to do it now after a day full of playing the xbox. He point blank refused when i went up there so i'm grounding him and he's not having pocket money for the forseeable future. Still leaves me with a kitchen to clean when i'm completely mentally and physically exhausted and just want to go to bed.

Why can't he just do what i ask it was hardly unreasonable.

at his behaviour. I can't believe he'd punish you for asking him to clean up etc by not feeding a kitten. Horrendous.

Stay calm and don't get into a yelling match. Tell he's lost the x box for a day.
He rips up some stickers.
That's no x box for 2 days.
He slams and yells and throws something.
Add another step in the sequence, he loses something else he values.
It will take a while to establish, but you need to regain control in your own house.
Teens can often out-sulk and out-rage you, so you have to be the calm and in control authority if at all possible, even if you feel like shrieking and throwing something back.

Well we got home and he'd ripped up his brothers magazine he'd got for being good at the hospital. He'd also been searching for his controller and made more mess. The washing up had still not been done and he was soaking in the bath!

I phoned his dad and he's coming to get him tomorrow and he can spend a few weeks up there. I'm not putting up with his selfishness any more I'm sick to the back teeth of it. I've also told him if he wanted clean clothes to take he can learn how to use the washing machine.

He eventuality went to do the washing up and filled the bowl with no washing up liquid and was washing 1 item at a time
while straining to see his ipod. When i commented on what he was doing he stormed off!

In the end i did the washing up.

He can't see what he's done wrong at all and thinks I'm massively over reacting. He can see what an easy life he can have with his dad, i think he's in for a shock.

Is his dad going to be able to keep him in chore bootcamp while he's up there?

I hope so.

i dont think you should have commented on what he was doing

i would have put the dirty washing up in a bowl in his bedroom

and absolutely-dont do his clothes washing until he sorts himself out

"In the end I did the washing up."

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always get what you've always got!

Sorry to say it but you've taken a step back there. You must stick to your plans or he'll know you don't mean anything you say and he'll not respect you.
I know it's hard work but sending him to his dad for consequences tells him he can use you as a doormat as you're not strong enough to stand up to him.

Harsh words, I know.