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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask them what they are calling the baby...

17 replies

Ecgwynn · 29/07/2012 10:59

My friends had a baby boy on Wednesday. Complicated birth, C section and the baby has been in the neo-natal unit recovering for a few days. WIBU to text the new Daddy to ask if they've decided on a name? I think it would probably be annoying wouldn't it? They'll tell me when they're ready...

I'm just excited and I want to know his little name! Smile

OP posts:
cookielove · 29/07/2012 11:02

I would ask, but then i am really nosy to!! I don't think it's rude to ask though.

surroundedbyblondes · 29/07/2012 11:02

Why don't you just text them to see how they're getting on? Then they'll hopefully tell you "little X is doing..." and you'll find out that way!

honeytea · 29/07/2012 11:03

YABU I'd wait, they will tell everyone his name when they are ready. Maybe send a text saying "congratulations, I hope you are all doing well, I can't wait to meet the baby" and they might reply with some info. I am sure they have more on their mind than telling friends what his name is.

JumpingThroughHoops · 29/07/2012 11:07

They have 6 weeks to decide. Wait for a birth announcement.

Original poster
Ecgwynn · 29/07/2012 11:09

They've sent out an email with a birth announcement, but just referred to him as 'bump' or similar.

OP posts:
potoftea · 29/07/2012 11:10

Having had a baby who was in hospital for a long time after his birth, I always felt I/he missed out on normal new baby stuff. He was never a "new baby", just a "patient", and I would have welcomed a friend asking a normal question rather than the medical stuff.
So if you would normally text to ask name of new baby, then do so, rather than being put off by his being in hospital.

VolAuVent · 29/07/2012 11:14

Yes it would be annoying I'm afraid! You'll find out soon enough :)

patosullivan · 29/07/2012 13:05

My DS was born prematurely and in SCBU for a few weeks, and I really appreciated getting supportive texts etc from friends and family, and knowing people were thinking of us.

So I'd say texting them to say you hope they're doing well, or asking how they and baby are doing, would be fine and probably welcome.

But I would make the 'hope mum and baby are well' type message the main part of your text. With a 'p.s. what's baby's name?' at the end if you really must.

Gettheetoanunnery · 29/07/2012 13:10

I would just send a little text to say you're thinking of them etc. they might not be in the right mood to reply back but I'm sure they'll appreciate you contacting them.
I remember everyone who supported us while ds was in hospital, even if it was just a quick call.

comelywench · 29/07/2012 13:17

As another Mum of a baby who spent time in the NNU I agree that a text to say that your thinking of them and excited to meet the baby etc would be most welcome.

However, I would avoid asking a question if I were you just because it can be a real whirlwind of a time. It took me a year for the fog to begin to lift, so replying to your text might just be an effort they don't have the energy for at this time. That was just me though so maybe they would manage no probs. I still think you should play it safe and send the supportive text secretly hoping they reply with LO's name

TandB · 29/07/2012 13:21

I think it would be far more appropriate to ask how the baby is doing, rather than just whether they have a name!

I think if I had a baby in special care I would be a bit Hmm if someone sent a text asking about a name, rather than the more important issues like how the baby is doing, when he might be allowed home, how I am doing etc.

Mrsjay · 29/07/2012 13:24

Text them ask how th baby and mum are and ask if little X has a name yet I bet they wont be annoyed just pleased you care ask if they need anything doing or something dont just ask his name it is stressful having a baby in babycare,

carabos · 29/07/2012 13:41

Perhaps they don't have a name yet. YABU.

Eskarina · 29/07/2012 13:45

I would imagine that they will tell everyone when they're ready. Probably haven't decided yet, or if they have them are waiting to make sure gps siblings etc all know before announcing it more widely.
My friend took over 2 weeks to come up with a name for her dd. she told us when she was ready.

Thumbwitch · 29/07/2012 13:51

No issue in asking them if they've decided on a name yet - that way they can reply "yes, he's called X" or "no, we've not decided yet".

I'm sure they would rather you cared enough to ask than just ignore them. :)

WorraLiberty · 29/07/2012 13:55

They're your friends so I'm sure they'll appreciate the thought.

Just ask how they are, how baby is and if they've decided on a name yet.

quoteunquote · 29/07/2012 14:58

hey, It's a really good thing if they haven't named the baby yet,

when in NICU, they do rather pressurise you to come up with a name fast, especially if the baby is high risk,

so if they haven't named the baby yet, then it must be doing well.

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