Is taking the piss out of a poster taking something too seriously...

[AgentZigzag]

...a good way of side stepping what could turn into a bunfight situation and better than getting into a slanging match?

I've done it before, ribbed someone getting all aereated on a maybe a light-hearted thread, and had it done to me when I've frothed at someone 'joking' about something I found far from funny, can't say I was totally happy with what I was saying being brushed off as me just not getting 'it'.

But there was a thread recently about a posters DH making her the butt of family jokes in front of her MIL, and all the answers agreed that making 'jokes' at another persons expense is out of order.

The inevitable 'can't you take a joke' or 'where's your sense of humour doesn't make it OK.

Are the two situations the same?

Or would it being done by a nest of vipers in a place where you could expect nothing else poster on an anonymous internet forum make a difference?

It will probably be classed as 'goading'!

Can you summarise your point ?

Can't say anything round here anymore..

Surely the point of that posters thread was that she felt unable to retort back, and she felt that she was marginalised by her DH.

I have to say I don't think this site has the same type of atmosphere. If a poster is getting ridiculed on one thread, then that poster can choose to defend themselves, get smart back or not post.

It rarely carries over to another separate, unrelated thread. If it did I would think it was bad form of whichever poster brought it over.

I think that is the answer to what I thought your post was about.

I know exactly what you mean - I once read a really sexist OP (about boy/girl clubs), pointed out it was sexist, then got shouted at by the OP for not getting it was a joke. If it was a joke it was a really really shit and unfunny one.

I meant is a situation where a poster's the butt of other posters 'jokes' on here, the same as when it happens in RL mintyy.

Is taking the piss a good way of avoiding an argument with them, or is it just making a joke at their expense and not in the slightest funny?

Maybe it makes a difference if other posters join in as well?

If people find it hard to defend themselves in RL Reindeer, doesn't that go the same for on a forum? Does it matter that you can't see/don't know them?

Most folk on here take themselves and MN FAR too seriously these days so a piss take is the only solution

100% agree with cybbo - a little bit of piss taking is so much nicer than calling someone an out and out howling fuckwit don't you think?

Depends how its worded. Sometimes it gives people a chance to think and climb off the high horse with good grace.

I've noticed you do that actually OP and I think you're very good at it. The most recent one that springs to mind is the thread with the woman who shouted at her neighbour's child. It was gentle, you weren't ripping the piss and nobody jumped in and made her the butt of a load of other jokes. I think, used correctly, it's a very tactful way of getting someone to take a step back and look at things from a more lighthearted perspective.

I think it WOULD make a difference if everyone jumped in and took the joke further though. It's a fine line.

I think you try it a little then back off if they don't like it, and apologize.

I usually like it because it feels friendly but I probably wouldn't if I were really upset or if I were feeling the sitution was one of those beyond-a-joke ones, and people differ on what those are.

Ling, I didn't think I took the piss on that thread, but I was on a macca one where the other poster didn't get I was joking and I wondered whether I was being a bit unkind.

I wouldn't like to compare it to bullying, but I can see how lots of posters with in-jokes and certain opinions could easily stamp on a poster challenging them, enough for the poster to be left with a bad taste in their mouth after they'd turned the computer off.

It's an accusation regularly levelled at MN, maybe there is a grain of truth in it (if only for the poster on the receiving end).

op, i have never noticed any of your posts. but people on here are relentlessly cruel. having been asked for views shouldn't mean you have to aim to destroy anyone who disagrees! there's a lot of bullying on mn.

I think it's a different situation. On the internet you can switch it off. Hide the thread. Assume the poster is just trying to wind you up for fun.

If it's your family / in-laws in your house, it's not as easy to press the "Hide" button. Although that would be very useful sometimes!