Had the invite ages ago..rsvp'd that I would be coming (but without my DS)...mum then helped me to buy a lovely dress to wear for the occasion...it's hanging in the wardrobe needing shoes, bag and accessories to go with it.
The Wedding is the niece of my BIL and have known her distantly since she was a small child (various family gatherings over the years, etc)
My family is sooooo dysfunctional though...we barely speak or see each other...though I see a fair bit of my mum...(example: my mum was staying here recently for 6days...my family all knew this but instead of phoning here to speak to mum...they all left numerous phone messages on her house phone when I took her home again) I've always been the black sheep so to speak. There are a number of difficult situations going on within my family (nothing to do with me or my DS) over the past months esp. and I have kept my distance out of the need for self preservation and peace.
My DS has SN adhd/asd and it is too difficult for him to attend this event and at his age he has to be given the choice too.....his reply being 'no way am I going to it'....and that's absolutely fine with me (though I hate to swan off anywhere and leave him out of things everyone else will be at...a mothers guilt trip thing)...
Anyway, recently things have taken quite drastic turns and as a result I am just absolutely dreading the whole thing...meant to be all going together in a minibus and staying over at my mums...resulting in the best part of 24+hrs in their company...and I just know it's going to be so difficult and stressful and I'm dreading the whole bloody thing now...the potential that it all goes pear shaped is high risk too....
WWYD???...AIBU to bow out now and come up with a feasible excuse for cancelling??
I can see myself painting on a smile, staring at floors and decor and just feeling completely lost and stressed out the whole time....I'll only have my family for company really as I barely know anyone else going to the wedding....my mum just wants to present her family as this happy, close, loving bunch even though she knows well that we are not and never really have been...the pretense is sickening tbh...another thing I can't cope well with...I feel exhausted just thinking/worrying about it all now...!!!