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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbors are noisy.

12 replies

FrankSpencer · 28/07/2012 12:14

DH is feeling stabby from yet another nights broken and disturbed sleep. Our two DC are waking through the night and are irratable in the morning. I feel as if im running on empty myself.
Its got to the point i need to speak to the mum. Aibu?
How best to approach the subject without sounding aggressive and accusing?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 28/07/2012 12:16

What kind of noise is it?

If you have thin walls and it's just normal noise but magnified because of bad structure, then that's not really their fault.

If they have Heathrow's sixth runway in their spare bedroom and Glastonbury's little brother in their living room, YANBU.

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 12:17

It depends on what sort of noisy and why?

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 12:17

Grin at Glastonbury's little brother

FeakAndTheWeebleWorm · 28/07/2012 12:29

Good advice to be found here

FrankSpencer · 28/07/2012 13:40

Sorry for the late response. I've so many things to do today.

Our walls are not thin. We live in terraced housing and our row of houses are rather old build. Proper solid thick walls.

Family consist of Mum, 4 teenagers (2 x girls 2 x boys) and I presume, Partner of Mum who stays a few nights of the week.

Noise consists of 4 teenagers coming and going through the evening until early hours of the morning. Its the summer holidays now, and the noise extends until well after midnight and into 4 am.
Hammering flooring/walls (I'm unsure which) after 11pm on afew occasions was/is soothing to hear Hmm
Argueing, shreiking, fighting, noisy gatherings. All from the late evning until early hours.

Most odd thing is that it seems as if there is only one set of keys between the family. Mum stays in most times, and its the 4 children who come and go more frequently. Everytime they come back home, they have to knock to be let back in. So its usually...kid arrives at door. (Its late by the way, kids are in bed, the street is queit, most of our neighbours have settled in for the night). Heavy knocking on the front door... Within he/she is banging on their front room window, not even having the common sense to realise that time needs to be given to allow someone to get from whichever room their in within the house, to the front door. Literally seconds after this, their back to hammering on the door again. Then its the letterbox. Then its shouting. (Remember, its dark, quiet). Sometimes a couple of kicks to the door is thrown in for good measure, a few more bangs on the door, before someone arrives to allow them in.. This is multiplied by four. Through the night. Sad Our bedroom is to the front of the house. Its so shockingly loud.

DS room and our bedroom is adjacent to the noisy neighbours and DS suffers
alot.
DD sleeps on the other side of the house and last night we found DD awake in her room, lights on, early hours because the noise travelled from noisy neighbours house to her room. Sad

OP posts:
FrankSpencer · 28/07/2012 13:53

Mother approached me around four weeks ago to apologise on behalf of her children, which I appreciated the gesture.
She said she knows her kids wake up DS, because she can hear him. (He's a screamer when he awakes).
She said she was sorry but as they are teenagers "what can she do?"
I accepted her apology, but since then, the noise has increased.

I really do know how this sounds all so trivial.

OP posts:
BahHumPug · 28/07/2012 13:59

That's not trivial, that's awful. I would speak to the mother again and say it's unacceptable. There ARE things she can do, and if she feels there aren't then I don't think it would be unreasonable to mention that there are also things the police and the council can do.

You can dial 101 (non emergency police number) and ask them to send a patrol car round if it's unbearable. Which it sounds like it is. Might be enough to scare them into shutting up or at least make them realise the serious impact it's having on your life.

I'd be livid if I were you.

FrankSpencer · 28/07/2012 14:04

I desperatly need to talk to the mum again. I thought of going round with a gift to emphasis that I dont wish for any animosity or aggression.
I thought that would be a good idea because it wouldnt be seen as strange or out of place, as I made a large cake for them when I moved in to this house 4 months ago as a way of introducing myself, and I've given a few other things as well since then. (Just because I always try to keep good neighbourly relations wherever I live. Not for the point of showing off, but you never know when you may need help from your neighbours and vise versa)

How do I approach the subject? What do I say??

OP posts:
thatisall · 28/07/2012 14:07

I wish you were my neighbour!! brings cake ! very understanding

BahHumPug · 28/07/2012 14:16

I think you need to be firm but fair. If you say 'ooo I don't mean to be a pain, I know I'm probably overreacting, it's probably nothing, silly old me' then you lack authority and she'll probably sympathise but laugh it off with 'oh teenagers, what can you do?' like she did last time.

State the facts. Keep a noise diary for a week, noting times, types of disturbance and length of disturbance. Present her with the evidence if it makes you feel more confident in your assertions. Tell her it's an unreasonable level of noise and whilst you appreciate it must be difficult, she must control her children or you will have no choice but to take matters further in order to protect the well-being of your own children.

WildWorld2004 · 28/07/2012 19:04

If its travelling through the house & waking up your dd then its loud & you need to sort it out. The next time the door gets battered id phone the police & say that you think someone might b trying to break in next door as there is an awful lot of noise.

Dont bring round a cake or apologise. Tell them firmly but nicely that its not acceptable.

elizaregina · 28/07/2012 19:32

you poor poor thing, it sounds horrendous, its just awful when you cant take a peaceful refuge in your very own four walls.

def speak to mother and def be more firm.

they are teengagers - they are her teengaers - ask about the key business etc..explain how its impacting you and dh and children.

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