Raaaaaaaaaaaargh! DH "they look fine"

[ErmaGerdOlermpercs]

A few months ago I was struggling to shoehorn myself into size 20/22 jeans.
Today, a lovely pair of size 16's arrived (bought them on eBay), and they fit! They bloody well fit :o

I showed dh (feeling all glowy and excited) who has completely pissed on my chips by saying "yeah, they look fine" in a really bored way, then when I looked a bit deflated said " what do you want me to say? It's just a pair of trousers?"

Um, no, they're not just a a pair of trousers twat they are the first pair of size 16's to fit me in years, and I'm made up about it, and I'm more than a little bit proud of myself.

"Wow, Erma, you look brilliant" or " Ooh look at you" would have more than sufficed, and would have taken the same amount of time and effort to say, and may have maintained my mood over the weekend (and might have even got him a shag), but no, "yeah, they look fine", and now I feel like shit.

AIBU to have wanted a more enthusiastic response from him?
And AIBU to think that "you look fine" should never be uttered by any man, ever?

Spot on, Worra.

Also -

Clearly your DH is not fluent in subtext-speak. By the time you've explained "what you want me to say", it all comes over a bit forced

I'm afraid (and I'm female) "subtext speak" rather frustrates me too. I have a male friend who I've known for over 20 years who's a lovely bloke but has always been bewildered by it I've recently lost 2 and a half stone and when I pointed it out he said "I never notice what people look like". It's a bit of a standing joke between us: in fact he occasionally asks me if I've had my hair done on the offchance he might be saying the right thing.

My DP is always doing this - he doesn't mean to but its just his way! Everything is in monotone and non descriptive!

I had a moan at him before for always being so monotone and how you can never tell how he feels because his face/tone/body language never changes,

So.. yesterday, I was showing him something I had bought for the baby and rather than his "yeah darling, lovely" monotone drawl. He turned to me with this rather manic big big grin, eyesbrows up in the air and said in a loud (i think he was trying to be american?) accent "Oh WOW that is GREAT!"

to which I fell about laughing and told him just to revert to type :D

This is why I've trained my 2 year old DS to answer the question "How does mummy look?" with "pretty mummy." Start them young, flattery is always welcome - my future DIL will thank me I'm sure.

You asked how your jeans look, NOT how you look - big difference in men speak

I'm the one losing weight in my relationship, and to be honest, I've noticed that if I ask the missus how something looks, she'll be honest (if it's fine then it's fine), but if I point out to her I'm wearing something that didn't fit previously, she'll compliment me on my work and give me the reaction you were looking for from your OH.

Congratulations on losing weight, I know how hard it is, but what you are doing to your OH is unfair, and if you let your mood manifest itself, borderline manipulative.

As ever so funny worra and true..

Congrats op but it's your victory isn't it, you did it for you but take a well done and keep up.

At least your dh obviously loves you at any size so count blessings.

Mine thinks victoria Beckham is gorg!!!!

I think if you want someone to be as excited about your jeans as you are then invite your girl friends round and show them, they will have a better chance of understanding the importance of being a size 16 rather than a 20. I'm sure your husband is very proud of you for doing so well losing weight but if he is anything like my husband he couldn't care less about the size/look/colour of my trousers.

Very well gone you, enjoy your jeans!! And yes, please tell us how you did it.

I accept my husband's indifference to any weight loss because he seems equally indifferent to any weigh gain so I can't complain!

Erma Congratulations! Guess you have probably lost around 3st and that is a fantastic achievement! (Did so myself several years ago). The way you look in your new jeans should give you so much confidence. Just check the mirror now and again and admire your new appearance. If DH doesn't help boost your confidence, show whoever else will - friends, family, the postman!