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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being unreasonable about DDs birthday?

10 replies

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 27/07/2012 19:05

She turned 8 today....she wanted a prticularly expensive gift so she chose that and another couple of treats instead of a party...plus most of her mates are on hols now...so it made sense.

We decided to have a small tea party with cake and some nice snacks last night...we asked her cousins who I will call A and B....they live close by and are the same age as DD...they all get on very well.

My Mum has taken it upon herself to get very cross because I did not invite DDs older cousins who I will call X and Z who are 12 and 11...they live 30 miles away and we saw them yesterday...they came to visit and all had a nice time.

my reasoning is that I did not want to make a big deal...it was just cake and a sandwich...not a party...no loot bags or anything and her cousins are that much older that they would not be into the same things as my DD....there is a big dfference between just 8 and 12....and yesteday, while they all seemed ok...the older girls did a lot of sighing and sitting down by their Mum...ALSO my sister (their Mum) stopped asking my DD to any of her girls celebrations YEARS ago....when they got old enough to want to have select gatherings...which is totally fine by me...my DD was not even invited to small tea parties her girls had...to which they DID ask their neighbours who were smaller....

So it was a little tit for tat but also because I DO understand that X and Z are older...they get bored.

WIBU not to ask cousins X and Z? My Mum came today but hardly ate a thing and was in my opinion a little grumpy.

OP posts:
KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 27/07/2012 19:06

To carify...we only decided to have the tea party last night...and we had it today.

OP posts:
whyme2 · 27/07/2012 19:07

Well I think YANBU but I was a little alphabetically confused by the end.

Did you clear it with your sister too?

bagelmonkey · 27/07/2012 19:08

Well I don't think you were unreasonable at all.

KissMyEmbroideryHoop · 27/07/2012 19:08

No...I haven't metntioned it to my sister whose kids I did not invite....

OP posts:
GhostShip · 27/07/2012 19:10

No you're not unreasonable.

Not everything has to be turned into a massive family affair

RedBlanket · 27/07/2012 19:10

YANBU I did the same last year for my 8 yo DTs
My nephew and niece are 11 and almost 13 and would be horrified at the idea of a party full of 8 year old boys.
Tell your mum to wind her neck in.

Flyonthewindscreen · 27/07/2012 19:10

YANBU, seems sensible to have invited the close in age cousins only. If your DD hasn't been invited to her older cousins birthday parties for years I don't see what there is for anyone to complain about.

GoodHeavensNo · 27/07/2012 19:13

YANBU
And I don't understand why your mum is getting involved in something that doesn't involve her. I mean as parents ourselves, we all know you don't get involved in sibling squabbles unless they turn violent or nasty Wink

kotinka · 27/07/2012 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 27/07/2012 19:16

It's not your mum's business. It sounds as though you had valid reasons but you don't have to justify yourself to her. She should mind her own.

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