To ask for helping in getting ME back

[laluna]

Just learnt that I got turned down for a job I applied for. Diasappointed but OK - life goes on. It has made me think about what I want though. I work part time shifts, have two children and my OH works a two hour commute away so we juggle around each other to manage childcare.

I realise that there is nothing else in my life except work (which is stressful and intense) and being a mum/household slave (washing, ironing etc). Because of today's rejection I need to rebalance things. I have left myself go and need to get it back but don't know how. OH and I are close but not close enough, iyswim; we are guilty of not prioritising us. I had a bit of a breakdown in the early part of the year and have been clawing myself up again fairly well but I just want to value myself and not feel that all I do is for others all the time.

Where do I start?

Make A Plan. You could call it Plan A. Decide what you have to do to get from here to there. Break it down into achievable steps and do one tiny step at a time.

I second the 'a plan' idea, but that might also seem a bit daunting if you are just getting yourself back after a breakdown.

How about picking one small thing you will do for you - be that joining a book club, joining a regular exercise class. Just something. Once you do that and it feels good, it will be easier to do other steps.

I second exercise!

I think the only place to start is to try to remember yourself when you felt happiest. What was it that made you so happy then? What made you you iyswim? If you can identify that then that's where you begin.
I've been thinking this a lot since becoming a mum 4 months ago - I think it's so easy to let your identity become hidden under being Mum. I'm trying to change my mindset and this week I've been trying to see more of friends and I've booked a day spa with my best friend - thing's I've done less of since having Ds.

For you it could be reconnecting with DP, or an old hobby.
Try to remember how you feel when you're at your best and what it is that makes you feel like that.
Good luck!

Think of all the little things that make/have made you happy. In my case its seeing my friends, yoga, having my hair or nails done, a quiet coffee with a trashy mag by myself in a nice coffee shop. All very small simple things which can seem like impossibilities with children!
Maybe get a babysitter once a month so that you and OH can go out for dinner together - sometimes couples can get into the habit of playing babysitter for one another so they end up only going out to have fun separately. Also you could download the couch to 5k NHS thingy - going out for a run is great free exercise and might help you clear your head!
Sorry you didn't get the job, btw, but I'm sure something better is just around the corner!