To think I am not running a sodding daycare?

[PiousPrat]

Ah holiday joy. One week in and the angst begins. I have had a house full off and on all week, anything up to 7 11 and 12 year olds as well as my own 2 and 10 month old DS3 trying to scamper around between the gangly limbs sprawled around. For the most part they are lovely lads, polite and ask for things rather than just taking them and do as they are asked, but there is so many of them I seem to be constantly asking them to move out of the babies way because he is squealing in frustration at being penned in, put their cups in the kitchen and their crisp packets in the bin etc. Not to mention the dirt and grass they trek in with them which needs sweeping before the baby can crawl around, only I have to ask them to move so that I can actually sweep and the noise, even when asked to keep it down it creeps up again so the babies naps are being disturbed and he is getting grumpy.

Today I declared my house a waif and stray free zone and said no one was coming in. The door knocks started and with them came the demands and sob stories. "I biked all the way down here and I have nowhere else to go", "I can't go home, my gran has gone out shopping", "I'm bored at home but don't want to play out".

AIBU to think that isn't my fucking problem and perhaps before you bike 2 miles to someone's house, you ring to see if it is convenient for them that you visit? Or that my house is not an amusement park that you come to when you are bored of your own games console? Or indeed that when you are told you cant come in and the child who lives there doesn't want to come out right now, you don't stand at the end of the drive bouncing a ball waiting for them?

Have I set a precedent by having them in all week so now have to suck it up for the rest of the summer or am I justified in having one day a week as a break? I thought it was perfectly reasonable, if not doormat-ish to have them in and out the other 6 days, but after the 2 mile biker stood on the doorstep demanding reasons why he couldn't come in and telling me I had to let him in as he'd come so far, I am questioning myself a bit. Should I maybe have given them all a warning yesterday? I throw myself upon the mercy of AIBU as I figure you'll tell me if I am being a sap or a bitch

I think, in light of having to wrestle an iPad off him, that you will just gave to ban this boy from your house. In the long run you will be doing him a favour because he might just learn something from it.

Come on, you weren't doing an online shop, you were here weren't you?

We won't tell though!!

YANBU! sap

How about giving them a structured and purposeful task to do. You could put them to work on any house or garden tasks which need doing... would you like a flower bed dug, a fence varnished, a bedroom repainted? You could give them a recipe for homemade burgers and relishes and get them to shop and prepare food for a barbeque.

I once left a group of kids alone upstairs in my house for half an hour and came back to find they'd painted a fresco of my flatmates and I on the wall. Thankfully, the landlady thought it was funny!

I'd tell 'biker boy' 'no you can't come in and ds1 &2 aren't coming out to play. Go home before I call your mum.'. For the other polite friends next time they're over i'd warn them in a friendly way 'You guys are welcome to come over on Tuesday or Wednesday - we're a but busy the other days this week. See you then'

Anyone else tempted to shout "See you next Tuesday" after the Biker Boy?

Biker boy wouldn't be near my house again if he behaved like that

The rude, entitled little shit.

YABU for not taking advantage of it.

When my 12 yr old fills the house with his friends I send them to the shop for me, or put the dogs lead on and send them out to walk him. They can help me move things around the house and can be forced to occupy younger sinlings (although 12 yr old girls are better at this, can you get them to bring their girlfriends too? )

It doesn't stop them coming, but makes me feel better about it

siblings

I've been getting my gardening done these last few weeks, with the help of the friends of my 2ins. If they want drinks, snacks and use of the pool, I need some help .

You have my sympathies OP, it's so hard isn't it! Last summer hols I also had a houseful most days. Our neighbours have kids similar ages to ours, (11 and 6), and the only way their parents could sort out childcare was to have the mum working half the week from home while her dh went to the office, and vice versa for the other half. They thought they'd sorted it perfectly but the reality was although there was an adult in the house at all times, they couldn't do a lot with the kids of course, as they were technically working!

This meant they'd let the kids out on their bikes/scooters around 9 am and they'd come straight to us, knocking for our two. They mainly wanted to be in our house but even on the days I said no it was me they asked for drinks/snacks etc. I did go and knock on their parents' door a few times when we all wanted time to ourselves but their reaction was "Oh just send them back if they're bothering you!" Well they wouldn't go back, kept hovering outside our front garden kicking balls about, trying to look in the windows to see what our two were doing etc.

Another boy was coming in a fair bit to play with ds which was fine, but of course he didn't get on with the other two visiting kids so I was having phone calls from his mum asking what had gone on, and could I do something to stop the 'bullying'

Did tell her it was all getting too much and could she stop him knocking so often but she just shrugged it off, saying kids want to be with their friends in the hols and just send him back if he's being a pain. Well he was another one who just WOULDN'T go!

If we were going out we'd have to leave early, as it was so difficult to get out the door once all the knocking started, kids wanting to come with us etc. It was also feeling as though we couldn't just be "in", in our own house as they just WOULDN'T stop pestering

I've got a lot better at saying no over the last year, and so far this holiday although they've come over, they seem to have other friends there too so childcare is obviously more sorted this time round

I admit was completely exhausted by the end of last summer, I'm probably not the best at speaking up if a situation's getting too much, but it really got on my nerves how some parents are just happy to let you be "childminder", with no thanks, no knocks on the door to collect their kids or ask if you're ok with it. Just texted occasionally for me to send their kids back for meals and within 10 mins they were knocking again

If I were you OP I'd start saying no but without justifying it with reasons, just No, not today sorry. You'll probably have to do this many times before they get the message but it will pay off eventually

Anyone who stood on my doorstep and demanded entry and expected me to justify why I wasn't allowing them in, when they weren't bloody invited by me in the first place could expect to not set foot in my damn home again. Ever. Nerve of him!

I have endured this too when DS was younger. It started as soon as the children were old enough to roam the village on their own. They would be out of their houses all day, not even going home for meals. If they were in my house I made sure that DS was under strict intructions not to supply them with snacks. They were given a 5 minute warning to leave when we were about to have lunch/dinner. I know on occasions I did have to resort to "we are going out shortly" when they knocked on the door - and of course we would then have to go out - but when returning home, I used to make sure I came the long way around so as not to pass the local park, otherwise they would see the car go past and run to our house through a footpath and be waiting on the doorstep before I had unloaded the car!
I have to say it did die down eventually as they got older and the novelty wore off. Thankfully DS and his friend always text/phone each other now before going to each others houses and I am happy to feed just one extra.

Biker boy would be barred from my house too. How bloody rude!

Hmph. Nobody got my "See you next Tuesday" line.

Imperial - I did ! I managed to sneak that into a conversation with my Dad once (he's a cheeky blighted) should have seen the look on his face when he realised what I'd done.

Blighter not blighted.
He thought it was very funny btw & I thought your line was too

Thanks! I just wanted the OP to come back and say she'd shouted it after him, then said "What? What?" to her gobsmacked neighbours.

Bloody hell these and children and.bloody rude into the bargain! You are an adult, tell them to fuck right off (politely at first).

Any child who wouldn't leave.when.asked or wouldn't accept why they couldn't.come in, or even worse wouldn't.give me my property back when asked.once would not be invited again.

I don't think it would have the desired effect round here. Half my neighbours are old and hard of hearing so would miss it and the other half keep the police in paperwork so would think nothing of it plus he'd probably take it as an invitation to come back on Tuesday.

YellowDinosaur, if only it were that simple :( he very often isn't invited in, he just bundles in when the others come in and I feel a complete bitch standing at the door checking them all in saying "yep you're ok, you're fine, no biker boy sod off". When he isn't allowed in or has been turfed out, he just hangs about kicking a ball about in the street right outside, looking through the window until I have to close the blinds to stop the intrusion. There is bugger all I can do about him being out there as his Gran lives opposite me so he just claims he is playing outside his grans and it just happens to be by mine as well. Thank fuck for different schools in September so at least I don't have to deal with him every day after school ;)