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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to make my kids share a bed for a few years?

67 replies

ZeldaUpNorth · 27/07/2012 13:49

Adds 2 and 3 currently share a room. All the bedrooms in this house are pretty small. I have bunkbeds but because they are only 4 and 2 can't put them in the top bunk for a while. They currently have a single bed (dd2) and toddler bed (dd3) but there is hardly any room for them to play. So I was thinking of getting rid of toddler bed and them sharing the single (1 at top, 1 at bottom) so they have more room. Has anyone done this? Would you do it? Or any other suggestions on what I can do?

OP posts:

belgo · 27/07/2012 14:37

I think they do need a bed each. Bunk beds tend to be slightly smaller then standard single beds.

Can you use under the beds for storage, and let them actually play on the beds if they want to play upstairs?

Pandemoniaa · 27/07/2012 14:38

My dcs were in bunk beds at this age. We never had a problem and that's with a very active ds2 who would climb anything! I know that mine would have slept really badly if they had to share a bed and also, it didn't seem entirely fair on ds1 to have to sleep in a piddly bed while ds2 was still a tad unreliable at night.

If you get some decent storage (and a routine about toys being put away) they could still use the room for playing as well as take toys downstairs and play there. A playroom is great if you have the space for it but I wouldn't prioritise it over having their own bed each.

Floggingmolly · 27/07/2012 15:16

Tbh, I wouldn't want a 4 and 2 year old playing upstairs for long periods of time anyway. They're best kept nearby most of the time at that age.

JumpingThroughHoops · 27/07/2012 15:27

Cant see the problem with bunk beds at 4 either.

Margerykemp · 27/07/2012 15:33

If they are DDs 2 and 3 could one not share a bunk with DD1?

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 27/07/2012 15:37

I think most 4 year olds would be fine in a top bunk.

Ds1 went on the top bunk at not quite 4 and he waas absolutely fine. I think that is a preferable option to them sharing a bed.

They wouldn't sleep well,or my 2 wouldn't anyway and both of mine take up a lot of space. Children are wrigglers in my experience.

Original poster

ZeldaUpNorth · 27/07/2012 16:43

DD1 has her own cabin bed (her room is even smaller) so thats no good unfortunately :( I've just re-arranged slightly and theres a little bit extra space, though the bookcase is still messing my room up Such a shame as the bookcase ties the whole room together.

OP posts:

Jenny70 · 27/07/2012 17:08

They need their own beds.

It might work most if they actually settle and don't kick, pull blankets or misbehave. But if one is sick, vomitting, wee accident etc the other kid could literally get covered & germy, plus gets disturbed if bed needs changing.

Whoneedssleepanyway · 27/07/2012 17:22

My DDs shared a room from the outset and there wasn't room for 2 single beds side by side so they had bunk beds and DD1 went in the top when she was 3.5 and DD2 in the bottom (with a full bed guard along the side ) from 18 months and they were absolutely fine.

My DD1 has always been really sensible and a goody goody so we hammered home that the top bunk was only for sleeping in never for playing on and if she needed to get up for the loo in the night she called DH or I (never needed to go) and she called us in the morning to help her get down. We didn't have any problems at all.

The only thing I was worried about was bed wetting as changing a top bunk isn't great at the best of times, she was only wetting the bed about once or twice a month when we put her on the top and as soon as she went on the top bunk she never ever wet the bed again

holyfishnets why do you say no to a 4 year old but a 5 year old would be ok? Surely it totally depends on the child, some 4 year olds are more sensible that some 5 year olds...

maybenow · 27/07/2012 17:27

your 2yo is likely to be potty training soon (if not already) i wouldn't subject a 4yr old to sharing with a child likely to have accidents, it's pretty gross.

get bunk beds that are ajustable - the 2yo doesn't need much head room so you can make the top bunk pretty low.

whatthewhatthebleep · 27/07/2012 17:30

kids climb all over the place...they are only scared when they realise that we might be....I'm sure with clear rules like whoneedssleep suggests above...it is absolutely no problem to use bunkbeds with 3yrs and up kids....
if you're too worried...use a mattress you can pull out from under bunk bed at night and push back under through the day...until you are confident to allow use of top bunk....kids won't risk falling off and the guard rail is there too...

bejeezus · 27/07/2012 17:36

Sharing will be fine. We've got bunks but cousins all share 3 or 4 to a bed (different culture)

S'no different to 'co-sleeping' is it. Me and both kids often end up sharing my bed!

Dolallytats · 27/07/2012 17:38

When we were growing up we had my mum and dad in one room, my brother in another and us 4 girls in the other. In order to get us all in, we had a single bed and a bunk bed with a double bed underneath. My 2 sisters shared this, although we all shared with different sisters at different times!! This went on until I left home at 18 (sisters being 19, 16 & 13) Needs are as needs must....they won't be scarred because they had to share!! YANBU.

GiniaC · 27/07/2012 18:07

I've just tried to solve that problem too, we got the Kura reversible bunk bed from Ikea and currently have my DS1 (4 year old) safely on top (it's not very high) and my other DS2's cot bed (he's 2) underneath with the side off, but you could use that space to play in instead or just put a mattress on floor for 2nd child. Seems to work and wasn't too expensive. Good luck !

MammaTJ · 27/07/2012 18:28

I don't make my DCs age 6 and 5 share a bed, or even a bedroom, but quite often I will go and check on them and find them asleep together in one bed.

Margerykemp · 27/07/2012 19:19

ok then put dd1 and dd3 in bunks and give dd2 the cabin bed

in a year or two give dd1 back her bed and put the younger ones in the bunk

fuzzypicklehead · 27/07/2012 20:34

My dd's (4 and 2) share, although it's actually in a small double as opposed to a single bed. Both are toilet trained, so it's no problem. We did it because it was just the bed we had on hand, but they both love it and call it their "sister bed".

GnocchiNineDoors · 27/07/2012 20:38

A mid high sleeper may fit a single under neath it at right angle, if that makes any sense.

So mid sleeper left to right, then under the right half of it, have the normal bed coming toward you. iyswim.

GnocchiNineDoors · 27/07/2012 20:39

Or Margerys answer

chandellina · 27/07/2012 20:46

I think most 4 year olds are fine in top bunks,with a rail. I know two boys in this exact set up and they are doing fine.

lovebunny · 27/07/2012 21:14

dad shared a bed with his three brothers until he got married. mum was thirteen when her sister was born and the baby was put in a double with her.

if i'd had multiple children, they would have co-slept.

wearymum200 · 27/07/2012 21:23

I had to share a (double) bed with my dsis when we were 2 and 4 for maybe 2 years. It was hellish( so bad that I actually have memories of it) We are both very mobile sleepers, all over the place ,kicked, stole covers, talked in sleep to wake the other... I still remember the relief when my parents afforded bunks. And again the relief some years later when I finally got a room of my own (age 9; i'd gone from sharing with dsis to sharing with dbro once he escaped his cot)

Alarielle · 27/07/2012 21:41

I think it would be better to have them playing downstairs and both getting a proper nights sleep in their own beds. The way my 3 year old sleeps in his single bed there would be no room for anyone else.

Glittertwins · 27/07/2012 21:46

Our two have been in bunk beds since they were 3.5. The frame at the top is safe and he climbs like a monkey so as soon as he could get up and down the ladder, the beds went up. Gotta love soft play for teaching him to do this! It also helps that he rarely wakes in the night so is unlikely to go wandering about like she does.

LeandarBear · 28/07/2012 01:11

YANBU. a larger single would be perfectly ok and I am sure the extra floor space is better than having two beds. I shared a bed with my DS by choice for quite a few years. Its really nothing to worry about. You can always change your plan if it becomes a problem at a later date.

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