AIBU to have expected DH to feed our children?

[Loonytoonie]

Genuine reality check question here, before I question whether I'm going mad.

I've had a sudden and unexpected bout of the runs this afternoon. It's wiped me out. So much so that I asked DH to take our DC (7 and 4) to his Mum's for the afternoon. I rarely ask.

I've just phoned to see if they've enjoyed - they have - BUT, he's not made them/bought them ANY food. MIL has given them the standard bar of choc and cup of squash. When I sounded put-out, he played the "You should have told me to feed them" card. They've not had anything to eat since they left, shortly after lunch (beans on toast).

It's not me, is it?! Really? He should bloody know to feed his own children?!

Well, seriously - did they ask to be fed?

*Love this

Could be a stock answer to a lot of threads along this vein on here.*

Maybe so, but it illustrates a point!

Us men aren't all useless bastards to be left you know...

I suggest you do. You're very ill. pebbledashing the throne.

YANBU. Although my children would never have allowed themselves to go unfed and would have given an excellent impression of ravening wolves once the clock struck a minute or two past teatime. They'd also have stored up the information so they could announce, in a neglected but also superior fashion, "Daddy starved us today".

I bet your youngest has been bugging his Dad all afternoon but has been told, 'Mummy will have your tea ready later.' This sort of twittery causes me to feel rather glad I am single....

Between himself and his mother, all they could come up with was chocolate and squash? Why should kids have to ask for their dinner?

Nobody is saying they should HAVE to ask. That isn't what we are saying.

We are saying that if they were hungry, they would certainly have harassed the crap out of their dad and not sat there meekly, feeling hungry but remaining silent and therefore the OP should not worry that her poor children are ravenous.

That is not the same as putting the responsibility for getting fed onto them.

YANBU. The phrase 'you never told me....' has been banned in this house. We are on our third child and DH still thinks this is a legitimate argument for why he forgot to carry out some basic childcare task when he is minding them. Like not giving them lunch or changing a nappy for about 6 hours., or brushing DDs hair before leaving the house.
Or he did think it was until last time he used it when I completely blew my top.

They got home about 45 mins ago - filthy and ravenous with DH brandishing a load of bread bought from the corner shop

He meekly made beans on toast for youngest, and a bowl of porridge for eldest, whilst I, in the grips of more stomach cramps, took myself off the the loo.

They're in bed now, but not before DC grassed their dear ol' Dad up - "He had his head in Nanna's special treat cupboard the WHOLE TIME" (eldest) and courtesy of my youngest "Don't worry ("wowee") Mam, I had 4 bits of chocolate (brandishing 5 chubby fingers). They were yummy AND they had lettuce in it."

Bloody Mint Aero.

when dd was four, i went out for the day. my birthday. then husband fed daughter on a single yoghurt he found in the fridge, and a packet of biscuits he bought at the local newsagents. i was out all day.

my H has done this.

It is infuriating

Hecateharsh, my oldest DC never says he is hungry, he just goes all quiet and wilts in the corner

Love the idea of mint aero as chocolate with lettuce!

Mint aero

Yes, your DH is a complete plank. My DD is the kind to tell you when she wants food every bloody minute of the day but lots of her friends wouldn't say anything until they fainted with hunger.

Lazy fucker (your DH not you)

It depends. If your dh regularly makes the dc tea/ supper then yes he's a plonker.

I imagine what happened was, given tea requires at least some preparation, it didn't cross his mind until tea time, by which time it was too late, and possibly granny wasn't prepared either.

Maybe...

Lettuce in chocolate! Fabulous!

My kids go nuts at 1701 if they've not been fed. Freaks.

When you make your H's next meal you could chuck a mint aero on his plate !

Really?

Head Teacher?

Needs a good kick up the arse.

I suggest you ask BlueFergie what her 'Berate Rate' is!

DH is like this. Even with himself. He will go all day with nothing and then eat a packet of biscuits or something. My step dad is the polar opposite. He thinks the DS's will starve if they don't eat every hour! Maybe it's his diabetes that has forced him to eat regularly and know about blood sugar etc. I need to eat little and often or I get crashes and then migraine. DS1's (age 13) aspie behaviour gets a lot worse when he's hungry though he won't neessarily say anything and DS2 (15 months) is miserable and cries. So I do regular meals and healthy snacks.

Mr Gin, unless granny lives in the back of beyond, he could surely have phoned for a pizza. But it sounds like it was the default lazy-man option, 'Oh, Mummy will have a lovely tea waiting, that's what she's for even if she;s been shitting through the eye of a needle all afternoon.'

do you have to tell him to wipe his own arse?

What solid said.

I would be beyond pissed off at this, I would be totally fucking furious.

Pathetic excuses for men who think that women should tell them exactly what to do when caring for their own children really get on my nerves. My DH has been guilty of it at times, his line is usually 'Well I didn't know'. My reply is 'well you should know how to care for your child, shame on you'

Sorry OP but your DH sounds like a cock