AIBU not to make a family announcement about my banking arrangements?!

[sensuallettuce]

Parents opened bank account for me when I was born, I stopped using it when 20 yrs old and moved in with then b/f and merged finances.

4 yrs ago got into debts due to divorce, life etc, debts were in form of 3 overdrafts with two different banks so had to move all direct debits etc to new bank - now paying off. Family vaguely aware but I didn't feel the need to make an announcement .

Two years ago mum in hospital having op, sister and I sent flowers I paid - sis sends email saying she's put her half in my bank account - my old one which I am in debt to so money was effectively lost (yes it paid off a small amount of debt but I really couldn't afford to do that).

Mum has just sent me email - she has put money in my bank account for me to buy a pressie for DD's bday - I'm like oh thanks, my new bank account yes?

No your old one (one that was opened for me at birth which is closed) .

Why wouldn't you check first?!

Do others inform their families of their banking arrangements or is it just me?

If they are completely unaware of your situation and still believe that the old account is the one you are still using, then what do you expect them to do? You can tell them you have a new account and would prefer them to use that one without having to go into details about your financial situation.

They know about my financial situation .

Just find it odd to use online banking without checking the details are correct first.

I think YABU.

You can decide not to tell them about your arrangements if you want to, but you can't then be surprised when they do something like this.

You are clearly frustrated about what's happened, but it should really be at yourself. You can't be so private about these things and then wonder why people don't know what your new arrangements are.

Again - they do know?

YANBU I check before I transfer money. If for no other reason than the reciever may want it in a more accessible account.

I think they are bu to just transfer money without checking where to send it.
If i am giving money for a present I usually give cash or.send a cheque

YABU to not want to tell your family which account to use, but to get annoyed when they use the wrong one.

I have told them?

YANBU. If you're going to transfer money it would always be a good idea to check which account first.

YANBU always a good idea to check first

Yes, YABU - my parents know my bank account details. Always handy in case they feel the need to give me some money ;-) actually they use it to pay me back for things, easier online as we don't see each other face to face much.

YANBU - they should have checked first.

there is something a bit infantalising about them assuming you still have the account they opened for you. Think I'd be annoyed, too. They should have asked.

Well you clearly have not been explicit.

I would've said YANBU if you'd said you'd been clear with them and they'd still got it wrong, but that's obviously not what's happened here.

Two close family members get a payment 'wrong'....you're the connection. I think you might need to accept this is your fault.

I'm afraid you can't have it both ways. You either give them the full information so that they get the money right, or you keep some level of privacy going and clearly don't give them enough to do things right.

YANBU, it is bizarre that anyone would pay money to an account without checking first. My friends and I often pay for tickets etc for each other and then pay online but I always ask them to make sure they haven't changed their account details.

YANBU and YABU a bit. They should definitely have checked and you should also have given your sister your new details if you were expecting her to pay you back. Why did your sister and mother still have your old bank details lying around anyway?