To expect people to shut the gate to an outdoor swimming pool each time they come through it

[Molehillmountain]

And lock it each time no one is swimming? We're on holiday at a gorgeous house with an outdoor pool. It's gorgeous but I am feeling nervous as we have a crawling baby and a three year old (and a six year old). The other family has older children. Aibu to feel worried that I am the only one who feels the gate should stay shut? Several times a day it is open and the consensus is that is okay as long as it gets locked at night.

I should add that our children are supervised all the time but I still feel that if people's eye were off the ball at any time then that's when things happen.

yanbu
not at all.

I am sure you all are looking after your kids as well as you can, and even being extra vigilant, but drownings can happen so, so quickly, and it wouldn't hurt them to just shut the bloody gate would it?
at least then you could relax a bit!

Yes you are Like this with small children and it would have really freaked me out when mine were little.

Unfortunately you do forget as they get older so I might be guilty of doing this now as youngest 12,, older kids wouldn't give this a thought either.

Gates were made to be shut. Really, really pisses me off when they are left open.

Have you spoken to the other family? As has been said - maybe if they have older children they've just forgotten what it's like with little ones? If you remind them, nicely, that the gate needs shutting every time I'm sure they'll do that - but you probably do need to speak to them

Well,another way to look at it is that at least you are aware that you need to be extremely vigilant with your little ones.If the gate was routinely locked,then you might let your guard down once and that would be the very time something bad would happen.

Good point Hilda..

we get round this in the holiday cottages that have pools, by having weighted gates that self shut, with high latches, so you have to be fully grown to reach,

leave a suggestion that the gate gets weight or spring fix,

you could take a box of chocolate round to other family and ask if they could remember to shut the gate, it might get the children attention.

If you were at an hotel the pool wouldn't be gated. I'm afraid that when you take small DCs anywhere near water you have to watch them every second.
You really can't hold others responsible for your child's safety.

I'm going to think in my head that it's an ungated pool but shut it every single time I see it open. Just out of interest, how old would you think children should be before a) they are allowed by the pool to themselves and b) to supervise other children. The older ones we're with are 8 and 11, ours are 13 months, 3 and 6

Once they can swim confidently and are the kind of age you would let them play on land unsupervised.

I never let mine go unsupervised until they were about 11. Prior to that on holiday DH and I would take turns to be on watch when they were in a pool, even though they could swim.
I would not expect a child under 16 to be supervising other children.
They are teens now but the absolute rule at pools and waterparks is they always stick together. DS1 (16) is a qualified lifeguard now and he has said that it changes his whole perspective when he's at a pool.

the difference though Hilda is that in an hotel you would all have to go out to use the pool.. the children wouldn't have access to the outside area without parents.

at a cottage/house with a pool I would expect to be able to allow my children to play in the garden while I was inside cooking etc, just as I would at home

SynchronisedSquirrels so you wouldn't let two siblings, say 14 and 12, swim together unsupervised? Or do you mean supervise other people's children?

This is one of my terrors about holidays - and most other parents I should think! Yes, just behave as if it is an ungated pool, then you aren't taking any chances. (The other family are BU IMO)

I wouldn't let my 10 year old swim alone, but as he is my oldest, I have no idea what age I would start.

whois - yes I would let siblings of 12 and 14 swim together but not be responsible for others.

We stay in France a lot, in gites with outside pools. French law states that every pool MUST have a fence and a gate that locks on a latch. It also states that the gates must be locked EACH TIME someone enters or leaves. The gites we've been to categorically state the same law. They really are very strict about it.

YANBU at all OP. The only positive is what Hilda said. At least your guard won't be down at all now. But, I'd still have to say something to the other parents. Gates were made for shutting, after all.

Wouldn't have an 'age' for unsupervised, more a level of swimming ability. That would be normal for most 8yo's. So probably 8... Wouldn't let anyone supervise a swimmer that wasn't safe though.

Most local pools in the UK say children under 8yo must be supervised by an adult, so I think 8 is the 'usual' age for unsupervised swimming. By 11yo definitely.

What I mean is, even though they are both strong swimmers, and I would have no hesitation about them each individually swimming unsupervised, I wouldn't expect either my 14yo or my 10yo to supervise anyone else.

Could put a joky notice on the gate PLEASE SHUT THE GET ...BABY LOOSE. or something like that

Thank you all . I've felt so much more comfortable with the pool since posting. I just see it as my job to shut the gate, given that, lovely as the people I am staying with are, it's just not possible to ask to change simple bits of routine without it all being seen as personal criticism. And I realise that their children really are old enough to go to the pool themselves so I've reminded dd1 and ds that they aren't to set four in the pool area without an adult as they aren't as old. It does amaze me that a gate that is do clearly marked with a keep shut at all times notice isn't kept shut , but I am probably seen as over zealous in my gate shutting so there we are. Aibu is fabulous!