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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish that some people in mumsnet would learn the difference between "questioning" or even "challenging" and....

46 replies

seeker · 26/07/2012 11:04

.....and "bashing"?

OP posts:
seeker · 26/07/2012 12:49

Actually, the bullying thing is interesting. I found myself feeling slightly bullied once, but then I pulled myself together and reminded myself that I don't actually have to answer or even open the thread or even log on to mumsnet. It's not as though they were waiting for me in the loo or something! I think it devalues bullying to use the word to describe something that happens on a anonymous online forum.

OP posts:
BIWI · 26/07/2012 12:55
Grin
OneHandFlapping · 26/07/2012 12:57

There are some questions That Are Not To Be Asked on MN, as to do so will lead the poster to be accused of bashing and isms, requests for threads to be deleted etc.

I was going to write more, but I can't think of any way to phrase it that will not lead to said accusations so I will STFU now.

seeker · 26/07/2012 13:22

Oh go in, onehand. I double dare you!

OP posts:
OneHandFlapping · 26/07/2012 13:53
seeker · 26/07/2012 14:05

"oh, gwan gwan gwan!"

OP posts:
Maryz · 26/07/2012 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheVermiciousKnid · 26/07/2012 14:07

Seeker, I hope you're not bullying OneHandFlapping? Hmm

Maryz · 26/07/2012 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneHandFlapping · 26/07/2012 14:22

Grin to Vermicious.

OneHandFlapping · 26/07/2012 14:27

Actually I do think "Are you for real?" is a rather unpleasant question to ask on a thread. It's passive/aggressive and dismissive of the OP's concerns, and doesn't further the debate.

"You are vile" and "Fuck off" are worse though.

Maryz · 26/07/2012 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liketochat1 · 26/07/2012 14:40

It's an interesting question. I think it's a bit of balancing act. But of course there is indeed a difference between challenging the poster's opinion and attacking the poster themselves.

Until recently I was using another parenting forum. I liked posing topics I thought would raise discussion and be of interest. I enjoyed it and have a pretty thick skin so am not afraid to hold my own in a debate and post some more controversial topics. I like getting stuck into more 'meaty' topics I suppose as well as more light hearted chatting.
But I'm afraid over the couple of years I was there, there were times I was bullied or harassed by two or 3 other posters. They would immediately disagree with anything I said, made so many personal remarks about me, took sides with their chums, stalked me around the forum. Not nice. Many others noticed it was harassment and tried to stop it but alas the admin did not.
Is it bullying? I don't know. Maybe. It's certainly harassment.
It's not as easy as just switching off the screen either. I had friends on that site I didn't want to leave and who were urging me to carry on regardless. I have a strong sense of justice. I didn't see why I should be intimidated by a few friends who clubbed together like girls in a playground and were utter hypocrites.
So at the moment I am aware of all this as an issue. But, although I will miss my friends, I am glad I've found mums net. Loads more posters and threads here!
Ooh, that was cathartic. Thanks for starting this thread Seeker. As you were, rant over!!

Mrsjay · 26/07/2012 14:58

I have an opinion on mumsnet royality they just regularly use the forum and havenolife that is why people assume they is some sort of higher beings of mumsnetters

bejeezus · 26/07/2012 16:13

onehandflapping there is the occasional thread where 'fuck off' is the politest reply OP can hope for

bejeezus · 26/07/2012 16:14

....or deserves

BupcakesandCunting · 26/07/2012 16:22

I agree with seeker. Never thought I'd say that in a gazillion years.

KellyElly · 26/07/2012 19:58

I find the responses particularly tedious that immediately accuse the OP or other posters of judging and giving responses such as " well obviously no one is a fucking perfect as you OP" etc. Everyone judges in life (unless you are some kind of saint) and the posters jumping on the OP and calling her judgemental are surely judging her opinion themselves and are themselves guilty of the same thing?!

PlumpDogPillionaire · 27/07/2012 11:04

On the same theme... Does anyone else here notice a corrolation in their daily life between MNing and PMT?

BIWI · 27/07/2012 11:16

Why do you think there's a moon picture at the top right of the thread, PDP?! MNHQ know that we all go loopy in accordance with the moon!

MarygoeZforgold · 27/07/2012 11:31

PlumpDog, I expect that's a whole other thread Grin

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