to keep an eye on this child and not want to go home before they were safe.

[honeytea]

This evening me and DP went for a swim in the lake near us, it's been really hot and it was lovely.

When we got out and were sitting getting dry I noticed a small boy running along the path next to the little beach we were at, I work with kids so maybe I have a little bit of a child raydar. He was running fairly fast and had no shoes on, he was only wearing a t-shirt no pants. He looked about 3.

There were a few people about and at first I assumed he was running just ahead of his family but there wasn't any family to be seen. He had stopped a little way along the path and he took his t-shirt off, at this stage I was just keeping half an eye on him from where we were sat(he couldn't see us as there were trees and we were slightly down a hill). he then had a poo at the edge of the path and ran into the forrest next to the path, he left his t-shirt on the path.

By this point we were dry and ready to go home, I said to DP that I was worried about the child who was still in the forrest, you could just see him hidden behind a tree, I said to DP that we should ask the little boy if he was lost and where his mummy and daddy were, my DP said it was non of our business and we should just leave! we live in Sweden and the attitude is a little keep yourself to yourself. We walked past the little boy and I said to him "hello, where are your mummy and daddy?" he didn't answere and went to walk deeper into the forrest (with no shoes on bless him.)

I said to OH that I was going to wait around till the parents came and found him as he might go into the lake to try and clean his bum or to just go for a swim. I said what we should really do is one of us wait at the beach (where the little boy couldnt see us so he wouldn't be afriad to come out but I could still peek around and see the trees bushes russeling where he was hiding) and one go and find the parents but my DP was having no involvement.

After around 15 mins the boys dad came and the boy saw him and ran out of the forrest, the dad had sent the boy to find his mum who was at another beach on the lake but the child had gone the wrong way and then needed a poo and not known what to do so hid in the woods. the dad actually told the child off, I felt this was a little unfair as if you let your 3 year old wonder around by themselfs you can't really be angry f they get lost! (I ddin't say this to the childs dad)

We are expecting DC1 and I would hope that if when our child gets lost strangers would keep an eye out for them. Do you think it was OTT to wait for the parents to come? I felt angry with my DP that he didn't see why it was up to use to keep a stranger child safe.

yanbu. I am not English either, am pretty relaxed about most risks, but still yadnbu. Especially near water.

You did the right thing.

You did the right thing by waiting. Children that age shouldn't wandering about near lakes or in forests by themselves.

The only person NBU was you.

That poor little boy. I would have stayed around too. My personal opinion is that we are all responsible for children, whether they are ours or not.

The world is far too much "I'm not getting involved" as people don't want the hassle. The little boy's dad is an idiot imho, and you will be a great mum!

YANBU. I would have done the same but also had a chat with the Dad

There is no way that leaving that child would have been the right thing! How would your DP have felt if you'd gone off and left him there and something bad had happened to him?

The dad sent a 3 year old to go and find his mum on a different beach?! What the jeff? I'd be reporting to social services. YADNBU

God, definitely YANBU! I could not have possibly left without making sure knowing the little boy was all right. And neither would my DH.

There are criminally neglectful parents everywhere, are you sure that's normal in Sweden? Ywdnbu.

I'm glad I wasn't being an over the top pregnant lady, the kids here do have lots of too much "freedom" so it might not be so strange to let them go from one place to another alone, when we go skiing in the winter kids under 7 go free you can tell they are under 7 because they go through a special kids entrance to the lifts. you see groups of kids some well under 7 skiing around alone. I don't think a child who can't swim should be alone around water and it is unlikely a 3 year old could swim.

Some people are beyond lax when it comes to keeping an eye on small children.

I was in McDonalds a chic restaurant the other week and a woman walked up to a member of staff with a little boy of about 18 months who she had found wandering in the busy carpark

After about 5 minutes of trying to work out who he was with his mother finally came over and took him away, explaining that his sister was supposed to be looking after him (sister was about 4 or 5).

I then saw them in the play area, which the little boy wandered out of and into the busy restaurant. The mother was busy scoffing an ice cream and started telling her approx 10 year old son that the baby had wandered off, to go after him etc etc. All the while the 10 year old being a typical 10 year old and busy doing his own thing. Eventually he went out there after him while the mother carried on eating her ice cream.

And if you're the mother in question - I was judging you. And so was the woman who found your kid in the carpark. And so were all the staff. And you deserved it.

YANBU. However the dad probably realised he'd made a mistake and had been worried/stressed and thats why he shouted - out of relief. That's not an uncommon reaction.

YANBU, I'd have done the same, I've asked a child who looked lost in a shopping centre if they were OK. They were lost too.

I think he must have been worried but he wasn't calling the child's name or anything. Hopefully it is lesson learnt for the dad!

a kid walking about in a carpark is so scary! they are so little a car has no chance of seeing them if they are reversing out.

I had a bit of a terse exchange with a mother the other day - walking along, saw very small boy (2?) on a little wooden scooter thing right at the edge of the road. Leafy suburbs, but still quite a busy road. In the several minutes it took me to get opposite him, there was no sign of any adult with him - and at this stage a young guy in a car had stopped, obviously anxious about whether boy was about to go on the road, and another woman had appeared and said she couldn't see who he was with.

So I asked the kid if we should go and find mum, which we did - mum was strolling along quite happily someway off. I said "he was very close to the road" and mum said "yes, he was waiting, weren't you Henry?" in a very pointed keep-your-judginess-to-yourself sort of way.

But how the hell was I or the scared motorist or anyone else meant to know Henry understood waiting? Should I really have just kept walking? How the hell were you to know boy at lake could or couldn't swim and should or shouldn't have been there? It's a tough call - but I'd always rather be over-cautious.

The thing is maybe Henry understood waiting unless there was a puppy or icecream van or something else very interesting to a toddler on the other side of the road!

I felt like there wasn't really anything else I could tell the dad that he didn't allready know.