Neighbour banging on floor because baby crying

[benne81]

Has happened twice now. DS is 10 months old and last night had heat rash and teething so he was crying but was going to go to sleep - then neighbour bangs twice on the floor which startled him and then I was back to square one.

Neighbour is young male, works in the city & obviously has no understanding of children. I live in a London ground floor flat and unfortunately neighbours on both basement flat and 1st floor flat main bedroom is directly above and below DS - so they have probably put up with a lot of noise.

I do feel cross that they bang on the floor and startled DS, what do they think I am doing? If I could stop him crying I would. WWYD - is it worth writing him an email or should I just leave it.

It's not going to get any better.
Once you're past the crying baby stage you'll have the noisy toddler stage - although admittedly not through the night.
I'd try and have a friendly chat/email to your neighbour - but without a bit of give and take this is not an easy one to manage.

Are you sure it was deliberate?

Tough shit for him. It is everyday living. Report him for harrassment.

I'd go and knock his door if it were me.

A similar thing happened to me when a neighbour's teenage daughter kept banging on the wall whenever my ds had a screaming tantrum. We let it go a few times but then one particular evening we were having problems getting him to bed and he was carrying on a bit and the banging started.

My dh went and knocked the door but unfortunately the mother immediately said they were "knocking a nail in the wall" in her daughter's bedroom.

They've not banged since though.

Our Walls are pretty thin and we hear plenty of noise from them so sometimes you've got to live and let live....or go live in a detached house

We had a similar problem with neighbours above us when DS was tiny.
A baby cannot be classed as a noise nuisance, but it is bloody annoying when it's not your child.
Any chance of moving to a house where you don;t have to worry about neighbours so much?

Could he have been dropping something?

I wouldn't go in with the assumption that he did - maybe try to strike up a conversation when you next bump into him, saying that the baby is teething, hot and bothered etc and that you hope he isn't making too much noise for him.

Neighbour could have been hot and bothered and tired too, but you have to be understanding when your neighbours have children. at least he's not like our 'CityBoy' neighbours with their loud parties, louder guests and all sorts of shenanigans!

Tough shit for him. It is everyday living. Report him for harrassment.

Doesn't this work the same way for the OP?

"Tough shit" if he bangs due to noise, that's everyday living?

At least it's not my DB's neighbour, who came to the front door and screams in his face "what are you doing" over and over again before threatening to smash his face in because they walked across the flat. During the day. This is with no prior incidents or words had about noise etc etc.

Well, I'd want to go and tell him to F* Orf.

However, I'd probably go round, smile sweetly, and explain that you're not actually torturing the child - it's just that babies do cry, it's normal, and that short of stifling the baby, you would politely suggest he equips himself with some ear plugs for the foreseeable.

It will get better when your LO gets a bit older - contrary to comments up thread, IMHE toddlers don't make so much noise so regularly.

One day your neighbour may be lucky enough to find a female willing to copulate with such a selfish twit fine catch, and then he'll (fingers crossed) have his own fractious child to pacify at night. What goes round, come around.

It's stressful enough having a poorly baby to deal with at night - don't let this oaf make it more difficult for you.

I don't think it's fair to call him an oaf etc etc. He's simply a young man with no idea what a baby is all about. Go and see him to explain.

If there is any possibility of improving sound insulation I would look at that. I think housing associations do pay for insulation if noise from upstairs is abnormal if any tenants are HA or maybe the chaps LL would pay if he is a private tenant. I'm just thinking banging on a carpet isn't that noisy and maybe your neighbour has wooden floors or poor insulation?

I think it's part and parcel of living in a flat though. You can't reasonably expect all families to live in detached houses I wish!

It was definitely two loud bangs on the floor. The first time it happened a couple of month ago we wrote it off as a possible accident but last night at 11.30pm there was no denying it was definite banging on the floor.

I'm looking into moving but buying a house in London is a big jump on property ladder so I have got to get back working full time before we can afford it.

This neighbour is going to have double trouble soon as the top floor flat are due in september - so maybe he will move out!

Is he quite 'bangy' or is he usually ok? Its always a risk calling a neighbour if they start banging on the floor/walls etc... The last thing you need is some vindictive ratbag tapdancing at 3am!

Sadly, even detatched housed have noise - people seem to find it fine to let their kids bash on their drum kit, and we had a neighbour who used to go to the bottom of his garden to practise his bagpipes (bottom of his garden = bit closest to our house).

I'd go and have a chat and explain that you do everything possible to soothe the baby, but babies cry. Maybe take some earplugs round...

We are ttc in a modern semi with very thin walls. If it ever works out for us, I feel very sorry for our neighbours.

Maybe the crying just woke him up and he knocked something over? Two knocks could be explainable by this any more and he's just plain rude.

I agree with the recommendation to go around there and say that you recognise that the crying is disturbing him and you are sorry for the noise and that you try hard to keep the baby quiet but that you can not make him stop crying by magic. If you could, you would because you also do not want to deal with a screaming baby in the night. Say it very nicely and not aggressively. Then if he does it again go up a notch and tell him that when you live in a flat, you accept a degree of noise from other people.

Get him some ear plugs and take them round with a jolly smile and say you thought he might like the option as you have to wake up and get dc back to sleep. let him also know that come september when he becomes a sarnie in the middle of two babies he will appreciate them even more

I would go and talk to him, stressing your doing everything possible.

I had this happen to me when DS was a baby- he was ill and crying even though I was trying to comfort him the next door neighbour whose flat was a second home was banging on the wall so DP went around. They only visited the flat twice a year but said their children never cried like that and that it was neglect! The man who was about 60 said he reserved the right to bang the wall whenever he wanted. The man was a director on the residence board and we heard on the grapevine that he had said babies should live in houses not flats.

In our current flat we have a youngish couple below that like parties but it's apparently not as frequent an occurrance as prior to us moving in as another family who live below the couple complained to them and eventually the parties diminished. So sometimes people are reasonable.

I think Bogey's right about this, but, whilst I think your neighbour is U, please do remember.........

If he is a young man with his first 'city' job, he may be under a lot of pressure. Perhaps he works long hours and this cuts in on his sleep? Perhaps he has to make tough decisions at work? Perhaps he is at risk of losing his job in the current climate and feels really stressed? Perhaps he would like to move but cannot afford to?

People do funny things when they are sleep deprived - you as a parent should know that!! I think his response is rude but I actually feel quite sorry for him: he doesn't sound like a partying waster but like someone trying to get a decent night's sleep, and he must go to bed tense every night wondering if soon the screaming is going to start again.

And in all seriousness, if you get this far, recommend BioEars to him. You can get them in Boots and they are really good. I am totally phobic about noise when I am trying to sleep and love these.

Only twice isn't much. I'd leave it as is but if it happens again, have a chat with him.

I think you need to let him know also, that banging on the floor is likely to prolong the crying.

Can you change rooms around, so baby isn't under his bedroom?

I'm trying to work out what the guy's job has to do with this?