"saving" a parking space while the driver moves the car

[Hopandaskip]

(NB: 1)there is more information, but I don't want to add it yet because I believe there are two different issues at stake and want your answer on the first bit before the extra info complicates it (If this is annoying to you, please feel free to go read another thread)
2) I will only be around for a shortish while. I am on a different time zone and I'm going to be AFK for much of tomorrow (your today most probably). If I do not respond immediately, or even within 36 hours then that is why)

I was in a car park today that has a high turnover. It wasn't particularly busy and within 5 minutes two or three spaces had opened up in the same area. I wanted a particular spot and when it opened up I sent my 11yo over to stand in the spot with our stuff while I moved my car (about 50 ft, not 5 minutes away). While I moved my car someone else decided they wanted that spot too and told my son he had to move. He replied that his mum was bringing the car over and she repeated that he had to move and started moving the car forward towards him (!) so he would get out of the way. I jumped out and tried to explain but the situation quickly deteriorated to shouting (oops, not my finest hour)

Sooo what I'm asking is...

1. can you 'save' spaces for someone by standing in them for a minute?
2. Who should have the spot? Is it the one who saw it first and claimed it, or the one who brings their car around?
3. does it matter how busy somewhere is? (it shouldn't in this particular case, but in future)

I'm never going to remember to come back to this in 3 days, but to answer, first one to the space with their car gets it, otherwise carparks will end up full of passengers wrestling over spaces.

Also, what was wrong with the space you already had?

The other driver should by no way drove towards your son, but surely it is your resposisibilty not to put him in danger in the first place, you do not know what other people are like, and quite obviously this driver had no regard for your son!
And
NO you can't save spaces, just like you shouldn't wait in a disabled spot when other people are late for appointments with their disabled relative and can't find a space, all because you don't want to pay the parking fee

I'm shocked how much detail and how much thinking about a parking space has gone into the OP...

You didn't do anything wrong though LRD- it's extremely bad manners for someone to try to barge into a space where someone has already started parking, whether you have an elderly person with you or not. In your case the guy should have waited until youd parked (silly and dangerous to cut in while you were actually manouvering) and then he could have politely explained the situation and then you could have kindly moved if you agreed.

Anyway, the ops situation is entirely different because she had no means of knowing whether the first driver to the space might have had an equal (or 'better') reason to park there anyway.

Oh, no, I know emm, I just mean I felt like a total twit for his mum. I still think he was a rude sod.

I think the OP is wrong, but I guess she might have a reason that half makes up for it. Still a stupid AIBU to write. It's like those 'guess what I found in my fridge drawer!' threads which get about 400 posts until the OP reveals it was a slightly-more-mouldy-than-usual lettuce.

sorry I left you without the rest of the explanation, I thought the 'special circumstances' would just confuse the issue and take it off on a tangent. I wasn't drip feeding, I just wanted a simple yes or no without the other stuff. I figured we both had our reasons.

ok so I moved because I had our dogs with us and it was really warm and not safe to leave them in a hot car, this space was in view of where I'd be and under a shady tree so my son could sit in the car with the windows down and watch the dogs and I could keep an eye on them. The other lady had a disabled passenger (it was not a disabled space and there were free closer spots to the entrance that I pointed out) but she wanted that one because her of her passenger (and presumedly because it was shady).

I guess I'm told then. I have always honoured it when other people have done the same and not felt put out. I will know better now I guess.

FTR, is it mandatory here to immediately assume the worst about a poster's motives?

Well fair play to you for coming back to the thread!

But yes, YABU because you didn't know the circumstances of the next driver (they could have had a dog just like you) and you basically felt entitled.

Also, if the weather is very warm where you are, perhaps you need to think about alternative arrangments for the dogs, as there is no guarantee of being able to park somewhere shady or convenient (and indeed such spaces will be much sought after by anyone else with dogs in their car)

Actually, OP, I don't think your update has changed my opinion, and now I have the added thought that you shouldn;t leave your dogs in the car. Why couldnt you just take them in with you?

Definitely YABU, then.

I don't think anyone was assuming the worst ... it's just hard to imagine a reason for doing what you did. I was inclined to think you might have a bit of a reason, but to be honest I think your update makes me think you're more unreasonable, not less.

If you can't look after your dogs on a hot day, that's not someone else's problem.

Dogs die in hot cars, even with the windows open

I wasn't planning on taking them with me, I had planned on doing my errand after dropping them off but my son needed what I was picking up sooner than expected. I didn't expect the extra info to necessarily change someone's mind, I wanted to keep the original question simpler.

Anyway, need to go to bed, long long day tomorrow.

stranded, that is why I had my son sit with them, so he could call to me if it got too warm.

Could your son not have held the dog on their leads while you went into the shop or wherever it was?

Supposing that space hadnt been free anyway? What would you have done then?

Call to you inside the shop has he got a megaphone ??

IMHO the first car to the space gets it, but even with the extra information, her disabled passenger would trump your dogs.

I thought you were going to say it was IKEA. The only place I know where that is perfectly normal behaviour, and what EVERYBODY does.

Well considering that yesterday at the beach where the car park was ridiculously busy my friend had parked at the end of a row of cars but not in an actual designated space iyswim?

A space behind mine came up and I stood in it whilst she got her car to move.

So I can't really say you were wrong.

I think there's an interesting contrast between the majority view on this thread - "if everyone did that it would be chaos, with car parks full of people saving spaces" - and that on a recent thread about saving tables in self-service restaurants. There, everyone thought it was fine to save tables and nobody seemed concerned that all tables would end up saved with none available for actual diners.

Very bad form imo.

Akin to putting traffic cones outside your house (which someone in my friend's road does, and I move them and park there).

Interesting Casper! FWIW I think bagging a place in a self service restaurant is bad form too.

YABU but it's a good thing to discuss on here. I've found it helpful before to discover what others think about things when genuinely confused.
Feel sorry for your ds though. Horrible position for him to be in .

But, um, I don't think it's generally terribly dangerous to sit at a table in a restaurant, and you don't usually risk a ton of metal crunching you over while you do it?

So just slightly different situations.

I understand why you wanted the spot but I don't think it's on to try to save it like that.

I especially wouldn't send my 11 year old son to stand there because of the potential for conflict from another arsey motorist.