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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In planning for DC to share a room?

19 replies

twofurryones · 24/07/2012 15:31

Ok, so I have DS1 who is currently 15 months and DS2 is due in September.

I had it in mind that it would be quite nice for them to share a room and reading various posts from people about siblings sharing there seem to be quite a few positives. It would also allow us to make some good use of the limited space we have available in the house. I was planning for the sharing to start as soon as DS2 was ready to move out of our room. DS1 went into his own room at around the 7 month mark, so assuming we follow the same pattern with DS2, DS1 would then be just coming up to 2.

DH came home last night and reported that his mother was very surprised we were planning to do this as apparently there is a large risk that DS1 will smoother DS2 in the night by throwing a blanket over his head, or climb into his cot and hurt him.

Now I really don't want to do something reckless, but I'm not entirely convinced that this is something I really need to worry about. MIL does tend towards a bit of an over active imagination regarding the harm DS may come to meaning I do sometimes feel a bit gung ho when shes around, so I'm finding it hard to judge whether, she's being over cautious or I'm not being cautious enough.

OP posts:

workshy · 24/07/2012 15:33

there is no reason why they shouldn't share -many families have no other choice

when No.2 is a reliable sleeper then they will be fine -you aren't planning on putting a newborn in there!

ImpatientOne · 24/07/2012 15:33

I think she is being over cautious unless there is some specific cause for concern about DS1's behaviour?

Olympia2012 · 24/07/2012 15:34

Ha ha at your mil!!

Original poster

twofurryones · 24/07/2012 15:45

Phew, DH is totally PFB about such thing and couldn't understand why I was being sceptical about this.

DS1 is generally lovely and quite sweet natured, although who knows what he'll be like at 2 or even how he's going to react to the new baby, if there was any indication that I thought there would be a problem I wouldn't make them share, I think she's just worried that he'll be too young to behave rationally.

OP posts:

naturalbaby · 24/07/2012 15:49

I had a 15month age gap and when ds2 was 7months he moved in with ds1. They were on opposite walls of the room so they could see each other. The biggest problem I had was that they kept each other awake giggling at each other! It was very cute. Ds2 wasn't impressed at being moved away from my bedside but more than happy to move in with his big brother. We did split them up after about a year though - they didn't want to listen to the same bedtime CD any more and were getting stroppy with each other! We might move them back together at some point though.

Moominsarescary · 24/07/2012 15:52

I did read something about an 18 month old getting into the Moses basket with his new born brother and accidentally smothering him, but the gm was babysitting and put the Moses basket on the floor in the toddlers room.

my friends children have been in the same room from 7 months and 19 months with no problem and we are planning on doing the same

BerthaTheBogBurglar · 24/07/2012 15:52

So, if your ds1 is able to get up in the night and climb into the baby's cot and hurt him, what's to stop him getting up in the night, walking out of his room into baby's room, and climbing into the cot etc etc? It doesn't sound like it's a long walk from one room to the other ...

I think the greater risk is that they'll wake each other up all the time. But alternatively, they may both sleep better for having another person in the room.

I think I'd plan it the way you are, but make sure I didn't do anything irreversible with the third bedroom, in case sharing didn't work out. (I'm assuming there is a third room and you have a choice here, not 100% sure from your post!)

CasperGutman · 24/07/2012 15:57

No problem for young children to share a room. My brother is 18 months younger than me and we shared until I was about 10. In our case this was through choice, as there were 3 spare bedrooms; we just liked being together!

JennerOSity · 24/07/2012 15:57

I think it is over-thinking risks, I would crack on with your plan.

If it doesn't work then you can put them in separate rooms later.

I am also considering this as would like to use the other bedroom for other purposes, but not brave enough to do it until the youngest has stopped crying in the night - I don't want ds to be woken all the time, and if the second is anything like him that could be well over a year!

NarkedRaspberry · 24/07/2012 15:58

Well you have 9 months before it gets to that to think about it.

Original poster

twofurryones · 25/07/2012 10:11

moomins that's awful but it sounds like a different scenario, it could be that MIL has also come across that story.

Thanks everyone, assuming no issues arise when the time comes I will crack on with the plan and just hope DH comes back round to the idea, he can be very impressionable at times!

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 25/07/2012 10:13

DS and DD have shared a room ever since DD stopped sleeping with me at about 18 months (She moved straight into a bed iirc). We love it and they don't seem to mind :) I assune it will go on until DS nears the end of primary.

PenisVanLesbian · 25/07/2012 10:17

tell her that rooms for each child is a very modern idea, and that children have been sharing since forever. Most of them still do. what does she think the rest of us do?

squeakytoy · 25/07/2012 10:21

I wouldnt dismiss your MIL too quickly actually. It is quite common for young toddlers to do some pretty daft things to their baby siblings.

My MIL told me about the time when her 2 month old was crying in the other room as she was sorting out his bottle, and then went quiet. When she rushed into the room to see why, it was because her 3yo was holding a cushion over the babys face "to stop the noise".

There was a similar thread on here not long ago and many people were recalling stories like that.

SDeuchars · 25/07/2012 10:23

My DC shared a double mattress from when DS stopped sleeping with me until we moved house when DD was 7. They had to share a room because we only had two double bedrooms. We had no problems and it had the advantage that an adult could also sleep there if the DC needed someone in the night.

WildWorld2004 · 25/07/2012 11:16

I havent heard such rubbish. My sisters & i shared a room from the time we came out of the cot until each of us moved out.

confusedgypsychick · 25/07/2012 11:22

I used to crawl into my DB's cot when I was little. I never smothered him though. Just woke him up and played with him.

DH and I plan on making the DC's share a room (whenever DC2 comes along), even if we have the extra space. Personally I loved sharing with my DB when I was little. (That changed once I was about 11 though, then it was all "I want my own room!")

CaliforniaLeaving · 25/07/2012 15:52

We waited till the little one was 2 and then moved them in together. Worked out great. They shared till the older on went off to Uni.

Whatdoiknowanyway · 25/07/2012 16:00

I shared a room with my older sister and brother. 13 months between oldest two and 13 months between brother and me, so 3 cots in a row...
Apparently I was crying one night so parents went in to find my brother lying back in his cot, blissfully sucking on my dummy. He'd climbed into my cot, raided my dummy and gone back to his own bed.
We all survived.

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