To want the nursery to accommodate dd dietary requirements

[Dramajustfollowsme]

I booked my dd at nursery last year. I told them about her being lactose intolerant and they said it would not be a problem.
I've just had her induction and they have changed the rules. They now want me to provide a packed lunch and all snacks for her. Whilst they will feed all the other children. They will be able to have a hot meal but they won't reheat food for my dd. This means she will always have to have cold food - right through winter.
I'm also worried that she might become fussy if she always has a packed lunch from home.
I asked if i could see the menu and just take in substitutes where necessary. They said that another child had had a severe reaction so now like to keep it all separate.
There is also the cost. I'm not getting a discount despite the fact they won't be supplying her food.
Ive started phoning round but there is a real shortage of child care in this area. Not unheard of for kids to be signed up before they are born.
We are trying to reintroduce dairy but it is a slow process. I don't want to be the awkward parent but I want my dd to be well fed too.

I'm surprised nurseries are like this still! My DD (2) is allergic to cows milk protein and soya and so they have her on a 'red plate'. Basically the chef/cook at the nursery cooks her food with no cows milk protein and soya in it and its plated up on a red plate (she also has a red placemat with her photo on) but she has the same meal as everyone else, just a variation to suit her needs. She also has a red cup (others are white) for her oat milk so they can see at a glance if she is having anything she shouldn't! Others in her room have similar for lentils/mushrooms/dairy...

Is your nursery part of a big chain? Might be worth looking at one of those as they are generally better geared up for it (I'm with a childbase nursery)....

She was dairy intolerant from birth, although only diagnosed at 13 weeks. Those were 13 weeks of hell, screaming projectile vomitting, diarrheoa, losing weight, reflux meds etc. The doctor advised that infants can grow out of it after a while. Dietician, who saw her at a year old, advised reintroduction slowly. She may or may not be able to completely tolerate all dairy products or may be somewhere in between. We have been trying for 3 months and she can now tolerate milk traces and we are working on cheese.

I didn't realise this either and I am lactose intolerant too! I've now found i'm able to handle dairy just not lots of it in a short period. A whole new world of ice cream and cake has opened up to me!

my son has multiple severe allergies (milk, eggs, soya, wheat, lentils, cod...) and his nursery have been great at providing healthy, hot, balanced meals for him and have done since he was tiny. Whenever possible his meals are a similar version of what the other children are having just adapted to take into account his allergies. we obviously asked a lot of questions before he went and I was really happy with the rigorous systems they had in place to make sure he would never come in contact with his allergens - for instance, he is always supervised at meal times, the children with allergies sit on a special (beautifully decorated) table, meals are prepared on different coloured plates and there are pictures up detailing each child's allergies and we spent a lot of time with the chef and nursery staff before he joined going through everything .

I have been amazed by how much effort they have gone to to accomodate him, even changing baking activities on the days he's in so he could join in with baking (even aged 1!). I would say that if they are being uncooperative its not a good sign generally. I think it is important for her to feel she is eating something similar to the other children. We finally discovered some sliced bread ds can have recently and he was so excited to finally be able to have toast like the other children at breakfast (previously we took in special bread rolls for him)

I'm always surprised parents with children with allergies don't supply all food and drink as a matter of course. Why risk a lapse at nursery or school? Our parents supply food even at parties and on cooking days without giving it another thought and the children accept it. Better to be safe. As for a discount, well they could get full price from another child so I wouldn't push it too hard. And agree, hot food at home, cold food at nursery. No biggie.

They should give you a discount if they want her sent with a packed lunch.

Really though, don't worry about her not having a 'hot' meal during the Winter because Nursery food is anything but hot.

Tepid doesn't even come close really.

flatpack, my dd is lactose and fructose intolerant. She can eat small amounts of dairy. She can eat yoghurt but not from age frays, she can eat some cheese but not others, she can eat chocolate but not chocolate pudding.

OP; I have to give my dd a packed lunch every day, but luckily my place has no problem with bunging her lunch in the fridge and heating it up at lunch time. SOunds like they are just being awkward.

Oh, and we also get a reduction on fees as she doesn't eat there.

I would try talking to them again. I understand them not providing the food, but they sound like they are being awkward.

Just to answer some of the 'lactose intolerant' questions - I'm lactose intolerant and can eat cheese and yoghurt but can't have things with milk in them (whether raw or cooked) - the process that changes them into yoghurt and / or cheese deals with the lactose sufficient for me - for some lactose intolerant people it is not sufficient though and they have to go dairy free.

Drama - DS was cows milk free at nursery and they didn't have a problem feeding him, although I supplied all milk for drinking.

leecoakley my son's nursery haven't had a single' lapse' since he started a year ago. I trust them as much as I trust myself to prepare his food. However, I did spend a lot of time talking to them beforehand about their systems to keep him safe and I knew they had safely looked after and fed quite a few other severely allergic children so I knew I wasn't trusting them 'blindly'

Lactose intolerance is generally a result of the lack of the enzyme lactase - so someone with lactose intolerance isn't suddenly going to start being able to produce lactase. The exception to this is with coeliac disease sufferers, who may get secondary lactose intolerance due to the destruction of the villi in the small bowel (lactase is produced by the cells in the villi)

Lactose, being the milk sugar, can be fermented out in e.g. yoghurts, and is in minimal amounts in cheese - so some dairy products are better tolerated than others - but it's not something people are likely to "grow out of", unlike a cows' milk protein intolerance, which could be grown out of.

sorry, that was supposed to be fromage frais

Most nurseries won't heat up hot food. Just like most restaurant won't. Its a h&s minefield. They don't know if you haven't chilled it properly etc.