To really really want another baby?

[extremepie]

Ok, I know this has been done to death but I need some advice and don't really have any 'real life' people I can discuss this with!

DH & I have 2 DS's, 5 & 4, DS2 has ASD.

I am working but currently looking for a better job, DH is a SAHD.

We are on a low income and probably will be for a while so while part of me is thinking 'we can't really afford it' I'm getting really desperate for another baby.

I don't want to have a massive age gap between our DS's and any future DC so I kind of feel like if it's going to happen at all it has to happen soon.

I know my DM would not be very happy if I got pregnant again, she thinks I have too much on my plate as it is but I just can't help feeling that my family is not complete yet! If we did have another baby it would be our last and I think I would be ok with that.

In some ways it might make all our lives a bit more difficult but it's getting to the point where I don't care how hard it will be I just want to do it anyway!

Am I being selfish? Should I be thinking about the DC's I already have more instead of a potential future child?

Btw I have a coil so it's unlikely to 'happen' unless we make a conscious decision to try (if that makes sense).

The thought of never having another child makes me really sad :(

you know you are being unreasonable for many reasons..

if you cant afford it, then wait!

I would say go for it. I have 4 dcs with genetic issues, we do not have much money but the joy they bring is absolutely worth it

Yanbu to want another child.
You would be unreasonable to have one just for the sake of it. What I mean is, does your mum have a point? Do you have alot on? Do you or your dh struggle to cope? Do you rely on her alot and she can't/won't give anymore?.
What about finances? Would it be a struggle to ha e another mat leave and just your income, and how much of a struggle would it be. Iyswim.
I have dreamt of a 3td but as much as I want another it wouldn't fit our family imo, and dhs.
My mum told me she has never stopped 'wanting another' and has always been broody, even now to some degree. But she is practical enough to know 2 was enough.
There is not 'right answer', sorry.

I'm afraid I think YABU. You know there is many reasons why you shouldn't.

What does your dh think about it? if he is a SAHD then in the future it will have a larger impact on him.

DC are so expensive! think of the DC you already have. They are so young still. You have plenty of time!

Sorry I meant 2 was enough for her and dad. Not that 2 is enough for everyone.

YANBU to want one.

YWBVU and selfish to have one when you can't afford it without taking more money out of the taxpayers pot.

yanbu I think you should go for it, if your DP is a sahd then you won't have to worry about childcare costs. If you reuse all your baby stuff from your previous children (even if you have a girl) it won't cost you much in the 1st few years.

DH is more than happy to have another, DS's are just about to start school so I know he will be happy to be at home with another DC.

I know this isn't a good reason but DS1 keeps asking for another brother or sister (he particularly wants a sister!) and that makes me want one even more!

Money wise, we are on a low income because I have just finished training and am going in at the bottom of the ladder so to speak so in a few years I will be on better money.

We have lived on much less than we are currently on so I think we could manage. We are trying to move to a cheaper area, housing wise. I think it might make more sense to wait until after that.

YABU You only live once. If you don't go for it you might regret it when you're older and you can't go back in time then. It might be a struggle for a few years but you'll manage I'm sure

I think DM thinks that another baby is extra stress we don't need and that 2 is enough for us (even though she has 3 kids!)

We don't rely on my parents for money but she takes DS1 for us at the weekend and sometimes both of them - not because we need her to or ask her to buy because she wants to spend time with them :)

Really it isn't anything to do with DM, if your DP and you want another child and that child will be loved/fed/warm then why not!