My grandmother died some time ago, and straight after the funeral my Dad took me and my brother aside to say that the will hadn?t been finalised yet, but that there would be something of monetary value coming to each of us. My Dad mentioned at the time that there may be an opportunity to do something like re-finance the house so that he paid off the mortgage, then we paid him what we would have paid in mortgage payments to repay the loan interest free. Cue much grateful thanks.
There was then no further mention of my grandmother?s will. Six months later, we were talking about my upbringing, and my Dad was finally made aware that I didn?t get a grant to go to University, that my Mum didn?t give me the money to go, that I had a part time job at Uni, and came out with a HUGE student loan. He said he felt bad as he?d paid my brother?s tuition fees, and so he?d like to give me the same amount as a gift from him, as long as we used it to pay the mortgage. Cue much grateful thanks and 12k mortgage repayment.
Another six months down the line, we get an amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity, but one that?s only possible if we have no mortgage on the house. At this point, I call my Dad, and explain the situation and remind him of his offer to refinance the house after my grandmother died. After a bit of talk of amounts, and how much of the money is available in cash or still in bonds, he agrees to it. I?ll admit at this point there may have been some pressure on him to go through with the refinancing option. I was very excited about the opportunity, and although he was less keen, he agreed it was a good idea. Cue much grateful thanks and acceptance of once in a lifetime offer. Two weeks later I call him to talk about finances and update him on the offer, and rescinds the offer. He says it?s too much (although he can afford it comfortably), however by this point we have already accepted the offer, and can?t go back without great difficulty. After much grumbling and uncomfortable silences, he very grudgingly agrees to go ahead with it, but makes a very big point about how he?s already helped us out with the 12k and we're being overly demanding. He also demanded a full breakdown of our finances of the previous three years to make sure that we hadn?t wasted any money or been too frivolous. He had a massive go at me for ?wasting? 15k, until I quietly pointed out that that?s how much we?d had to pay in mortgage interest payments in the last two years.
Our relationship hasn?t been the same since ? although it hasn?t been mentioned, I feel like this is hanging over our heads.
Was I being ungrateful or selfish? I wouldn?t have asked if he hadn?t suggested it in the first place. I don?t know if I?m being unreasonable, or he is.