To think DH is just plain lazy

[driversatlas]

He seems to have given up on bath time/story time and just sits around watching TV - anything from the Soaps to Father Ted.

He had the cheek to say to me tonight (whilst I was weeding the garden) that if I make the grass all flat it wont be able to be cut properly. I had only made it a little bit flat because of me doing the soddin' gardening.

He washed his bike on Saturday and the bowl and sponges are still lying outside the back door. The BBQ is also filthy from Saturday.

He just seems to be incapable of doing anything for anyone else - apart from himself.

He asks for foot rubs/cups of tea. I even had to go to the shop last night to get him some lager.

It makes me very cross and I feel like a door mat/cook/cleaner. More than anything I feel like a mug - he just doesn't seem to get it. We both work F/T but it is me picking up all the crap.

AIBU?

YANBU in the least to be annoyed, but is this a sudden development? If so, what else has changed?

"He asks for foot rubs"

foot rubs? tell him to rub his own fecking feet.... after he has trotted to the shop to get his own bloody beers..

You had to go to the shop? What, at gun-point? What would have happened if you'd said no? If you feel like a doormat it's possibly because you're being a doormat - I know that sounds really harsh but you do have the power to redress the balance here.

Does he have any redeeming feaures at all? Is there anything you like about him?

YANBU at all, has he always been this way, do you have dc?

Oh Christ. Not another one? What is it with all the doormats about at the moment. You HAD to go the shop? Are you his partner or his slave. Jeezzzzzzz.

Any chance of having a non-confrontational chat about it and how what he does makes you feel? Otherwise easy to be really resentful when actually the other person doesn't have a clue that you feel this way.

You "had" to go to the shop? Um, he sounds like a bit of a knob. You sound like a bit of a martyr.

YANBU but you were BU to get him his lager!
I would be burning with resentment and frustration in your position. Like having an extra child.

You did not have to go to the shops!! Seriously!! Do you actually have MUG tatooed on your forehead?

Ah well, we choose the path we walk!!

Well maybe I do have MUG on my forehead. I have mentioned it a THOUSAND times - it just makes so difference at all.

Have my first LTB.

You can 'mention' it a thousand more times OP and it still won't make a difference. Why? Because there are no consequences for him. He just ignores your 'nagging' and carries on. Keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.

Whatever you do for him, stop doing it now. And tell him there'll be no more foot rubs till he does more around the house.

Next time ask him to go to the shop for you if he refuses then next time he asks you, you can tell him "yea like you did for me last time ay" give him something to think about! As for the grass sounds like he jus wasn't thinking when he said that typical man !

Also stop doing his washing etc jus leave it ! Hopefully he will soon get the message!

OK, give it to him straight down the line. 'H, I am not your servant, this is a partnership. If you don't start pulling your weight, you can leave.'
At the moment, he's relying on you accepting that awful weight of social conditioning, that it's 'just the way men are' to be selfish and lazy and consider women as their slaves; that a man who doesn't actually beat you or fuck other women on a regular basis is a 'good' man, and that the worst thing in the world is to be single.
None of this is true. It's much better to be single than with a man who behaves as though you are a cross between a trained dog and a dishwasher.

if it was my husband id have told him to fuck off