To want to change everything about me.

[Slinkysista]

Have come to the very sad realisation that I have turned in to an invisible domestic drudge. Have had a really big loss in my life recently and this last few months have been the worst of my life. I just feel that I've lost total interest in everything and feel really old (37). I see other people just really living life to the full and I'm jealous, I want to be like that but can't. My husband just says to be glad for what we have but yet I can't even do this. How can I change myself?
Does any of this even make sense?

The midwife told me that if I didn't get out and start chatting an meeting people my dd would pick up on it and might lack confidence herself.

In the 5 months she has been here I have joined loads of groups, go to an adults ceramic evening and started arranging loads of things myself.

It's completely changed not just my life but ME and in a short space of time. I've not had a panic attack or felt down in a while now.

I don't really know what to advise but find something that interests you and get out there! (())

are you getting any help, with depression, anxiety, feeling low, coping with loss etc? sounds like the loss in your life was more than you could cope with alone. kayano gives good advice but you might need a bit of unconditional positive regard from a counsellor before you are strong enough to act upon it.

I would think about the possibility of depression? Could you go and see your gp and explain how you feel? A loss is a massive thing to deal with and it can really hit you, be kind to yourself. There are thigs that can help and posting is a great first step.

I think you should probably go and have a chat with your GP about how you're feeling - you shouldn't have to feel this low. You say you've had a big loss - I'm assuming a bereavement. It's very common for an event like that to trigger depression - but please, please don't think there's nothing that can be done. There is lots that can be done.

You're so kind to have replied, I'm the jolly aunt/sister/ daughter that people just think will be fine but I'm really dying inside. Broke down tonight and told my husband how I feel, he said we are lucky and when I told him I didn't feel lucky he huffed out of the room and stormed off to bed. I watched my wonderful, kind, caring daddy suffer with cancer for the last nine months, he died last month, I also had a baby five weeks before that. Writing this down has made me realise I am depressed, will go see G.P.

I think it's quite common to question your whole life after a bereavement - and it's not always a bad thing. You sound thoroughly miserable though, I hope DH is supportive.

I'm sorry for your trouble.

It's very difficult being the one that other people rely on for support, isn't it? And then its so hard to find the words to express how your really feel.

What a sad combination, to have your baby born at the same time you were watching your own daddy die. A not dissimilar thing happened to me, and sadly it has coloured my memories of the happy event ever since. If this is the same for you, I wonder whether, in a little while, you could have a celebration of your new little one, so that you have happier memories to look back on.

You sound depressed sweetheart. And when you are depressed, nothing in life feels good, nothing has meaning, and nothing has any hope. You have had a baby and lost your father - no wonder your emotions are all over the place.

I'm sorry your husband wasn't supportive. Definately go and speak to your GP. If medication is something you are willing to consider, then they really can help. Maybe ask for some counselling as well.

Here is a link for "What To Do When Your Partner Is Depressed" - maybe your husband would be willing to read it?

I know its very hard to be in so much mental pain when you are the smiley bubbly person for everyone in person - its okay not to be okay all the time, remember that. PM me if you need to talk at all.x

So you've had a baby and a bereavement in the last two months?

I say this with love: doctors. Tomorrow. Please. It would be a miracle if you weren't depressed. But you can get help and you will feel better. Phone them tomorrow, please?

Goodness such kindness from total strangers, I didn't even think anyone would reply if I'm honest, I'm in tears reading your posts. I am definitely going to see my doctor and ask for something. My baby is adorable and wonderful but I just can't stop thinking about the last few months of my daddy's life and how horrible it was for him. I just want to know he's ok, I love him so and miss him beyond words.
Thank you for listening, you probably don't realise how much it means.