Would it be unreasonable of me to do this behind DH's back?

[VivaLeBeaver]

pay a man to come round and fit the laminate in the hallway?

Dh is going on holiday with his mates in sept for a week so it will be the perfect opportunity.

We bought the laminate nearly two years ago. It's been piled up in a corner of the dining room for two years. The hallway carpet is 20 years old, it smells of dog and has a 2ft square hole in one corner.

Dh says he will fit it but he needs to remove all the skirting boards first and sand the nasty mahogany varnish off. He wants the laminate to go under the skirting boards not up to them. He never does it, if I mention it he explodes and says he's working hard and doesn't have time.

Not true though. He's a bugger for starting stuff and not finishing. This weekend he's spent the weekend sanding and painting all the external windowsills. He's done a fab job but I'd rather he sorted out the hallway.

He won't be happy if I do it as he'll moan that the skirting boards will need painting with new laminate in situ.

Then there is the threadbare sitting room carpet that I'm not allowed to replace until he gets round to plastering under the bay window. That's been bare brick for two years with no sign of it been sorted. I'd like to get a new carpet down in there while he's away as well but no way can I empty the room of furniture on my own.

I don't think I can face the front room carpet in the same week. Maybe next year.

I will quite happily paint the skirting boards. Can't be arsed with sanding. They have decorative channels in them which would be a bugger to sand in there.

YANBU if I hadn't decorated the front room I would still be sat in a canary yellow room with grime on it 2 years on from moving in! My next task is to get someone in to do the heavy digging (read pay my kid brother on his rest days to do it) in the garden so that I can get it into a manageable state because DP has been promising to do it since forever and has booked a week off on two seperate occasions, the third is coming up, to do it, and, well, it's still not bloody done!!

Sometimes you have to be proactive!

Why on earth don't you just ask him? I'd be really pissed off if I'd told DH I'd do something and he went and organised someone else to do it behind my back.

I know you say you have asked, but does he know how much it really is bothering you. Why can't you say you are thinking of having a man round while he is off with his mates as the hall is really getting you down, or alternatively asking him to commit to a time when he'll do it?

Do it! It took my mum getting someone in to quote finishing off our loft conversion to get my dad in gear to finish it himself. They started when I was 14, I'm 21 31 next month and there are still bits not quite finished yet. My dad is a joiner and a perfectionist, hence why everything takes so long!

I have asked him several times and told him how pissed off I am over it. He ties my head off and says he'll do it when he has chance.

Bites not ties!

Just do it. If you can afford it. H and I moved into a doer upper, on the understanding that it needed work doing. Of course, once we moved in and money had to be spent, he refused to get anything done. It's miserable living like that and smelly carpet is the worst.

You both own the house. Just get it done.

Speaking on behalf of all procrastinating menfolk, I would be extraordinarily grateful.

Definitely do it.
He has had his chance to adddress the problem, now it's your turn.

Er - No, not reasonable at all. My MIL put up with an unfinished house for years. It was needless stress. Please post back later on when your laminate is done. Love to know your hubby's reaction. Will he even notice?! Big .

He's had 2 years. Of course YANBU as long as you can afford the Man Who Can, which I am sure you have already budgeted for.

If DH gets huffy, just ask if he would wait 2 years for you to < insert whatever task you do for him, washing socks or whatever> no? Ha!

Seriously, if he is spending time and money on going away on holiday with his mates whilst you stay home withe the dc then YAsoooooNBU in getting this work done to improve the quality fo life in your household.

Get a the tradesman to quote you for removing the skirtings too, that way your dh can decide whether to sand them and put them back "when he has got time" or whether he'd prefer to replace then with new ones. Probably much easier to sand them outside on a workbench in the fresh air/sunshine or whatever than having to crouch down in the narrow hallway to do them.

Do get the plaster fixed too whilst your dh is on hols, then you can probably have new carpet in time for Christmas !

It took him a DAY to sand a 2 foot length? Was he doing it with a nail file?!

Can you say you've organised someone to do it when he goes away but are happy to cancel if he pulls his finger out of his arse and has it finished before then?

It may well spur him on to do the job and if he doesn't you can go ahead and get Handy Andy in with a clear conscience - unless you think DH'll cancel his trip to stay huddled watchfully over the skirting boards!

Mine's the same with this kind of thing. We always divvy up the jobs that need doing and I let him pick the ones he wants. I get mine done by me (or someone I've paid) by our mutually agreed deadline then have to nag him to get his finished.

Paid a friend of his to come over and do his jobs a couple of times and it seems to have cured the problem!

Shamelessly marking place.

YANBU at all - idiot bloke!

I'd absolutely get someone in if I was in your shoes.
Let us know how it goes.

Last time I moaned at him about it he tried to turn it round on me saying that as the hallway is always a clutter of handbags (one on the floor), schoolbags (two) and the odd pair of shoes he wasn't going to do it until I "could look after the hallway better".

It sometimes is a slight clutter but I'd prefer a clutter that didn't smell of dog and have a big hole in it.

Are you going on holiday for a week without DH? If not, then I think it would be totally fair if you spend the equivalent of whatever his holiday is costing on what ever you want - which may be getting jobs done around the house.

Sorted!

Tell him you feel bad for him never having enough time to finish off the jobs that need doing...so you have kindly cancelled his holiday for him!

I'd leave him to it and pretend I'm living a beautifully decorated house, but that's just the mood I'm in after our weekend

13 years I lived in my old house. My DH never finished sanding the bannisters.
Now, I pay someone YANBU (but you knew that!)

It took him a DAY to sand a 2 foot length? Was he doing it with a nail file?!

Sounds like my dad's sort of DIY. We bought him an electric goes round corners has lots of attachments type sander once. It's unused. Why make life easy for yourself when you can spend hours with a cork block, four drawing pins and 5 different grades of sandpaper? Mind you, that's hours away from my mother

Yes, dh insists on sanding by hand. He will sometimes treat himself to using a block but for in the fiddly bits you can't even use a block.

I am going away with dd camping, without dh. I'm sure his holiday will cost more as I think he's going to Spain. He's hoping I'll agree to him going for a fortnight rather then the week he's currently booked. I wish he could go for a fortnight as then I'd definetly get the carpet done as well but sadly I think I may be starting a new job that involves been on call overnight.