Okay, I'm not annoyed, but pretty pissed off about it now and don't know if this is normal behaviour. Pretty sure it's not.
Don't want to drip feed, so a bit of background: DH's sister has never come to our house. Once I repeatedly asked DH to invite her around when we were newly married and she declined over and over again, and then came around after about 8 weeks of inviting. She never came again or invited me around to hers (although I'm pretty sure DH gets invitations and goes to hers). She never came to visit when DD was born nearly 5 years ago. I have no idea what her problem is with me, but I've let it go now, and don't really care if she is not in our life.
When DS was born, DH's brother phoned and asked if he could bring her and her family along to see the new baby, and that they were sorry for how they have acted over the few years. I had a 1 week old, was tired, hormonal with chest infection. I admit, I wasn't the bigger person and I told DH she could come and see the baby by all means, but I didn't want her in our lives because she didn't come to see our first born, and I can't just forget that. Unbeknown to me, DH relayed this back to his brother, and they never came. This is just one of the things that have pissed me off about DH - the constant relaying of information about OUR house and affairs to his family, without me knowing.
The other day we were about to go out for the day, and at 9am, DH took his mobile and went out to the garden for a phone call. (He often takes the phone and talks in the garden or out earshot). He does this alot since we've been married. That particular day, I got annoyed and took the phone when he was in the bathroom to see who he had been calling. There was a landline number, that was his sister's. When I asked him who he had been talking to, he replied it was "no one". I told him straight out, that he was lying to me, and why he felt he had to hide the fact he was talking to his sister? That I was his wife, and I don't believe in keeping trivial secrets like this. I explained to him that his sister and I don't see eye to eye, so when he makes secret phonecalls to her, wth am I supposed to think? I feel like she is backchatting me to him, and to stop all this bad feeling, he should be able to talk to her openly infront of me without this big secrecy. If he talks about normal everyday things, then why hide it from me?
This morning I took our baby upstairs to change his nappy, and his mobile rang. He picked it up, looked at the number and put it down. I asked him why he wasn't answering, and he said "I don't know who's number it is". He never saves numbers in his mobile, so I said to him "You never save numbers, so just answer it". He answered it reluctantly, and it was his nephew (sister's son). So again, he wasn't going to talk to his family infront of me. He knows I got pissed off because he was trying to hide it from me.
I don't understand why he does this. I have never stopped him from talking to his family. I was never this snooping type of person because I trust him. This habit of his has become worse and worse since being married. If your husband is talking to someone who dislikes you, in secret, then doesn't it just create bad feeling? I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or whether I shouldn't get pissed off with his secret phone calls. I only get pissed off because he hides everything. I don't care if he talks to his sister, but just doing it in secrecy - what could be the reason behind it?
Ready to be flamed or whatever for being a hen pecker or something. Thanks.