another money one

[lab001]

I am pretty much a SAHM at the moment. DH works and earns a reasonable salary. Recently he has been moaning that he can't understand where all "his" money is going and "we" need to economise etc.
However, this weekend he took ds out for the day, (fair enough DD at camp) and lovely break for me. However, he came home with almost £60 worth of LEGO.
AIBU to be furious about this.
Even worse I feel he brought him one of these Trading Card Collector thingies which is he carries on collecting will eat money.
I know ds deserved a treat as dd was away but really I feel this was too much.

As SAHM you get more time with your ds so don't begrudge him treating her. Maybe you need to draw up a budget between you though so is apparent where the money is going.

I guess it just feels sometimes that it is perfectly acceptable for his to spend whatever he likes on dc. (probably about £150 on Lego this year alone)
However, we (me) apparently spend too much on groceries. Despite fact he spent over £100 last time he went.
Know this issue is probably bigger than that one incident.

Definitely bigger than this one event.

I think, if you don't have it already, need to sit down and do a budget. You need to work out together:

What costs are set and cannot be changed e.g rent/mortgage, council tax.
What costs are constant, and can these be adjusted e.g car insurance, petrol, utilities, food.

Once you know what money you have left and if there are any savings you can make there, you can look at what's leftover and how you want it spent. So should a percentage go to savings, and what's left be for socialising and treats etc can you put that in a separate account to make the distinction more clear and it easier to monitor?

Food wise, when doing the budget iwould work it out based on current typical costs, than later i would again work out things you always buy, do it one mysupermarket.co.uk so you can compare which shops are cheaper, then look at the additionals you buy and see if savings can be made or if you're doing a lot to save say £15 and you have 10 times that allocated for leisure you can decide is it really necessary and would he Bethany with the changes in food or quality.

£60 is a lot to spend on Lego if he wants to economise !

I get this with my DH. I think if you spend a lot of time with your DC you end up treating them a lot - whether it's buying them things like sweets/ice creams/toys/magazines, or by paying for them to do activities/go to places, or just by being able to spend quality time with them.

If DH gets less chance to do all those things he may well feel the need to "make the grand gesture" every once in a while.

The big picture is whether you can afford it and where you (as a couple) decide your family money goes.

The problem is the way he sees his wages as "his" money rather than "family" money. If you've decided together that he works while you stay at home with the kids then wages are for the family.

Sitting down, talking it out and drawing up a budget is the way forward, definitely.