AIBU to let close friend take dd's out for the day?

[Cheekychops84]

my friend of many years wants to take my dd's out they are 8 and 5 . She told me a while a while a go she wants them on a Friday as she has Fridays off from work. She is a very good friend however she has no children of her own and in my opinion no experience with children at all. She drives like a nut case I.e tailgates people she is a very aggressive driver and has been in a few crashes which have always been her fault! She also buys them sweets all the time and it's going to be very hot this week. I've told her no as we already have plans but she has got her back up over it now and tries to make me feel so guilty and like I'm a crap friend ! I would go with her but I'm 41 weeks pregnant well over my due date so baby can come any time ? I his don't know how to approach herniver this I can't make excuses forever ?

A day of sweets won't hurt them
If it's hot then common sense (I hope) would make her give them lots of drinks (but at 8 & 5 they are old enough to say "I'm thirsty" )

The driving would be the decider for me.
If someone wants to drive like an aggressive tail giting idiot, then let them. But not with your DC in the car.

(I don't trust my dad driving. He's never had an at fault accident, but he's the kind of driver that makes you cover your eyes or want to get out of the car. And it's not just me who has the opinion).
I didn't let him take my DC in the car (I told them the seats didn't fit. He never tried to over-ride this thankfully.) I think his driving would be affected by the DC in the car.

So if she could do something that <span class="italic">didn't</span> involve driving, I'd say do it.
You need a rest! 
You might have more things on your mind by Friday anyway.
Good Luck!

Ignore her - you need to continue to put the welfare of your children before your friend's feelings. If she pushes it, make it clear that you would be concerned at the safety of your children due to her reckless behaviour behind the wheel and no assurances from her would ease your conscience as a mother in this regard. You hope that she understands that the welfare of your children is your priority but that she would be welcome to come over for the day etc.

Well at the moment you can use the impending birth as an excuse, as you need to know where the kids are when you go into labour (assuming you have someone arranged to sit for them)

Or tell her that she is best off taking them somewhere in walking distance as your DC have terrible travel sickness and throw up within seconds of starting a journey :o

"she has got her back up over it now and tries to make me feel so guilty and like I'm a crap friend ! I "
And that would just harden my attitude. She wants them for her, she is clearly not offering this to give you a rest. Your children do not exist for her amusement.

And even if that ^ were not the case, her driving would lead me to say no - and to tell her that that was the reason.

There's a lot of "she wants...." in your post. But frankly, what she wants doesn't overrule your concern for your childrens welfare. The driving is the deal-breaker for me - sweets, hot weather, and lack of experience with children aren't huge issues, if you send them off with water bottles and sunhats. But idiot drivers are a menace. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her aggressive driving and don't feel able to trust your children to her. Tough if she doesn't like it, that's for her to get over. Would you rather feel bad about being unkind to a friend, or feel bad about your children ending up in hospital (or wrse) out of politeness to her?

Tell her that would be fantastic, and you'll start writing up the bedtime routine, and you're so grateful that you can finally get a night out with dp, and dd2 has a few quirks what with the nightmares and bedwetting but you're sure she can handle it, and a night out with dp sounds wonderful, and you're sure she can cope with dd1's tendency to bite strangers, and don't worry that incident with the babysitting agency was blown way out of proportion, and don't forget "we don't believe in saying No, children are such precious flowers", and you're so so thankful for a break...

Thanks for your opinions ! She wont walk with them
She doesn't walk anywhere ! Yes I think most of it is what she wants she has nothing to do she lives at home with her nan and when she returns from work has nothing to do so gets bored very quickly and seems to think my children will amuse her . Which is lovely and deep down I believe she is doing it as a favour but I know I would sit and worry all day.