to be annoyed at this use of language?

[bogeyface]

"What happened?"

"Well when YOU put the ironing board away, YOU must have leaned it here as a bottle just fell off and broke"

"What this over here?"

"Well it will need mopping"

Where is the ownership on behalf of the person that did the breaking? I know I didnt lean the ironing board against a glass bottle (who does that?!), but didnt make a fuss as accidents happen.

I just find it interesting when I would say "I caught that bottle when I moved the ironing board." rather than immediately shifting the blame.

AIBU for have this to be nagging at me as annoying?

Oh and guess who mopped....

grrrrrrrr that is irritating.

Is there blame in an accident?
I'd expect to work together to sort out the mess, not one person mopping. Did you also sort out the broken glass and wrap it?

Thats just it fallen, in this case it is implied that it is MY fault even though I was nowhere near the scene of the crime!

I would accept that I had just had an accident and not immediately try to shift the blame to someone else. He swept up the glass and left the brush and dustpan with the glass on it outside, so I have to clear that up and wash them off.

It was an old bottle of nasty sticky sweet flavoured shots that came from his work ages ago, so the place stinks now too!

Infact thinking about it, I would probably just shout "Oh BOLLOCKS!" and then clear it up. It wouldnt occur to me to start talking about who did what thereby proving it cant be my fault, but that seemed to be his default position.

He's behaving like a teenager in a strop, not very seemly in an adult.
Very annoying I agree.

Does he also go all around the houses to avoid saying sorry?
My father used to do that, as if an apology was a sign of weakness.

This frustrates me too. My parents do it. Everything is each others/someone elses fault. Usually for something trivial. But the point to them is not being wrong, so it is irrelevant how minor the incident in question; that is just a symbol of their pride, it is about how it categorically is not their fault.

In all the time i have known my parents i have never heard either one of them apologise to anybody or admit they did anything not totally right. Very sad really. Once you let yourself go and just admit you are wrong, or that no one is wrong, then it is a liberating experience.

It feels so free to embrace the wrongness!

Also everything is blown completely out of proportion. So a spillage or lateness turns into a saga. As a child it was horrible, now i just laugh at them.

Well he didnt apologise, presumably because he didnt need to as it wasnt his fault

I know that he gets this from his family, they sound the same as your parents spuddy, nothing that happens is ever that persons fault. And if something is proved to be a persons fault then that person will kick off and scream and shout in no small way. Its pathetic actually.

I agree with fallen some people see apologising as a sign of weakness. I see it as a sign of confidence in yourself. My self esteem is not linked to whether i spilled a drink or not. In fact to be so defensive is a sign of a very fragile ego.

My GP's were the same on both sides. Everything was a battle. I don't know how i have managed to break the cycle. Probably as the youngest i took the blame a lot. (if my dad was drunk and smashed something in a temper - it would often be 'my fault' - from my mum too - for making him angry etc. otherwise they both might have had to confront the truth...)

The other thing bogeyface is if something trivial is clearly someones fault, the indignant/shouting/out of proportion deflection that follows, 'mum, did you break x?' 'yeah well you did x 2 years ago...'