To be a crap godmother?

[Spookey80]

More of a wwyd really?
I'll try to make this quick... Friend from school, still good friends when she had her baby girl nearly 5 years ago, so when said dd was 6 months they had a christening and asked me to be god parent. They are not religious at all, neither am I. I accepted as I didn't feel I could say no, and was quite flattered to have been asked.
However since that time we have seen less and less of each other. I now have two dcs, and we are very different people. We don't text, or call, the last time we met was for a meal with another friend 4 months ago, which was nice, but we are just so different. My 'friend' can be quite materialistic and conversations are always one sided, ie she never asks about me or my life...
Anyway, I always send her dd Xmas and bday presents. But now we have been invited to her bday party and I just feel like a hypocrite going, with all her family and friends, when I don't even know the little girl. But I hate fibbing, and will struggle to make an excuse. Am I the worse gm ever, what should I do?

It doesn't sound as though she sees you as a GM anyway.

If you've been invited, go along and have a good catch up as friends.

Isn't this the perfect opportunity to change the fact you don't know the little girl.

I do think that regardless of the relationship you have with the girl's parent, your commitment as a godmother was the to the little girl and not the parent. So from that point of view, even if you are feeling awkward you should go.

OP I'm the same. I never see my godson, about once a month if that. When I do I lavish him in gifts because I feel guilty. I really do need to see him more but I find it hard finding time for my partner, my day job and my own business.

You're not the worst gm x

We had 3 sets of GPs for DD, only one set lives locally (the others live approx 200miles away) but we didn't choose them because they would see her often, we chose them because i think of them as wonderful people and we want her to have a close connection with them even if she hardly sees them.

I would go, and try to enjoy getting to know your goddaughter. And, even if you don't see her or her mum for a long time afterwards, try and remember to send her a card on her birthday.

You were flattered to be asked and didn't feel you could say no? Hmmmm I don't think you're particularly bothered are you?

I only see my GD 3 or 4 times a year when our families meet to catch up but I consider it an honour to be a GM and will always be here for GD and/or her sisters.

Perhaps your friend would like her DD to get to know you better hence the invitation to the party?

Hmm, I am godmother to the eldest child of my sister and the eldest child of my brother. Both children were christened, but neither was brought up in an especially religious way. My SIL got it about right when she asked my godson if he knew what a godmother was and he replied "a special aunt". So build on that and get to know your goddaughter.

I am the crappest godmother ever. Have lost touch..... So ashamed

I am a terrible god parent. I see god child regularly as mum is a friend but tbh I actually forget that they are my god child and it never occurs to me to bond in anyway

I feel bad because they are religious and I'm not. I'm just not sure what I'm meant to DO as a god parent

I haven't had any contact with my godchild for at least 8 years. TBH I don't feel guilty about it though - I agreed against my better judgement (tried to quietly decline stating my atheism). I finally realised that the childs mother was simply a grabby and often toxic friend within a couple of years of the christening and when I moved away I simply failed to keep in contact. I regret agreeing to it but I don't feel guilty just as I don't feel guilty that my DC don't have godparents.