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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to take ds in here too?

24 replies

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 18:29

Paddling pool at our local park is for children 8 years and under. Ds is 9, I am also a lone parent with very little support so nowhere to leave him while I take dd (5).

We turned up today, read the sign and its an new rule btw the 8 years and under thing and I took him in anyway.

He is small for his age so can pass for 8 he also has HFA and operates as a few years younger anyway.

Anyway I mentioned to a friend and she said "well you won't get away with that for long" .

So is this a rule that can be broken or stretched a little to accommodate my ds? Or can we never visit the paddling pool for the rest of the summer (such as it is)?

OP posts:

TheMonster · 22/07/2012 18:30

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't use it. No-one will know. It's not like you're turning up with a gang of 13 year olds.

iloveACK · 22/07/2012 18:32

Agree with BodyofEeyore.

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2012 18:32

HFA? Not sure what that means

She's right, you'll only get away with it for as long as he looks 8yrs or younger

Not a big deal though is it really. I expect he's not the only 9yr old there.

ilovesooty · 22/07/2012 18:36

High Functioning Autism?

Sounds fair enough to me.

Original poster

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 18:37

Yes, sorry High Functioning Autism. No I am sure we won't get away with it for long, just hoping for this summer . She just said it in quite a judgy way though.

OP posts:

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 22/07/2012 18:37

High Functioning Autism?

I don't think you're doing any harm. I think rules like that are introduced to deter young teens rather than 9 year olds.

RubyFakeNails · 22/07/2012 18:44

It's fine, possibly not next summer.

CecilyP · 22/07/2012 18:50

I think the rules can be stretched a little. Especially if he is quite small for 9. I agree with it is more to deter bigger kids and teenagers, rather than kids who are not long past 8. You are not really getting away with anything; I'm sure the other parents won't mind if your DS isn't very big.

Sallyingforth · 22/07/2012 18:53

We have a similar sign in our park. It was put up because groups of older boys were running riot in the pool and frightening/endangering the little ones.

If your 9 or 10 year old is behaving well with his mother and a younger sibling I can't imagine there will be a problem unless there is a real jobsworth about.

Original poster

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 18:53

Thanks, well will obviously have to look for somewhere else for next summer but going to see out the summer at this one, its a nice one too.

OP posts:

Krumbum · 22/07/2012 18:56

Yeah do it. It hurts no one.

CaliforniaLeaving · 22/07/2012 19:00

I'd have taken him in too. If he were a disruptive big kid then you may be questioned as to his age, but if he's playing nice and not bothering the little kids I see no harm.
Our local pool put an age limit of under 7's only on the paddling pool. Dd who is a big 7 has to go in the big pool with the adults now. Last summer at age 6 she was constantly being asked how old she was even though she wasn't hurting anyone or being wild, she was tall, and loud!

Original poster

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 19:02

No, he is not at all disruptive, just totally keeps himself to himself, in his own world half the time. Mind you there would have been a bit of disruption if I had told him he couldn't go in anymore after he was so looking forward to going.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 22/07/2012 19:03

I would just enjoy it this summer and not worry.

SilkySmith · 22/07/2012 19:04

go for it! absolutely a "loose rule", just means no gangs of teens IMO to keep it for the children

emsyj · 22/07/2012 19:07

I want a paddling pool at my local park . Like in Topsy & Tim...

YANBU - he's only just over 8 and he's just as entitled as all the 8 year olds to have fun in the paddling pool - as others have said, the rule is to keep out the teenagers (who I think caused Tim to injure himself in said Topsy & Tim book...)

Original poster

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 19:09

Loads of parks in London have them, they're brilliant, always somewhere to go on hot days with a picnic. This one is closest to us, within walking distance and has a nice safe place just outside the fence but close to where we sit to leave the dog. Its perfect. I will be quite sad when my kids are older and don't want to go to them anymore.

OP posts:

DeWe · 22/07/2012 19:51

I think it's absolutely fine as long as he behaves remembering that he will be one of the bigger children, ie being careful not to go in for huge splashing, running about without watching where he's going etc.

If I saw you there knowing that he was 9yo or even older, if he was not a problem/danger/spoiling little ones' fun, I wouldn't worry at all. It's when older ones come in and they behave in a way that younger ones are getting out because it's too rough for them, or little ones are getting hurt that I get irritated.

emsyj · 22/07/2012 19:58

There used to be one just along the promenade from here (we live just off the prom) - but they have now 'renovated' it and turned it into a model boating lake . The local model boating arseholes club are total shits and won't let little children go anywhere near it. They also monopolise the duck pond at the park and regularly put up officious little signs about 'members only' etc.

kinkyfuckery · 22/07/2012 19:59

Go for it, have fun!

Sirzy · 22/07/2012 20:01

I agree with the others, as long as he isn't being a pain to others then no problems.

Goldenbear · 22/07/2012 21:57

YANBU. I always feel a bit sorry for the older children as all the fun things tend to be for very little children. Children over 8 up to early teens Seem to live water fun/ water fights but there is nowhere to do it. I watched these girls about 13 really enjoy the park when it was raining because the little ones were not using the equipment.

I don't think it's practical to mix very small children with big children in a paddling pool but perhaps they should have their own. I only have little children so I don't know if I'm totally off the mark here and in actual fact 8 + would not be interested.

Original poster

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 22:02

No you are not off the mark. I do wonder how I am going to manage things next year when dd is still wanting to do all this stuff but ds can't . I think there SHOULD be more stuff for that age group.

OP posts:

Socknickingpixie · 22/07/2012 23:20

with next summer in mind why dont you write to whoever is responsable for the pool explain your suituation and ask for there advice they may confirm its just a guideline as they dont want groups of teens creating problems or they may even tell you about a different one he could use.

i understand your concern my ds has autisum is unable to go out alone enjoys play parks and uses them as intended my LA wrote him a letter stating that as long as he was using equipment as intended and respecting other users if he has his autisum alert card with him then he would be fine.

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