To feel so fed up? Advice V much appreciated....

[Shiningbutslow]

Hello all

Its been 4 years since redundancy took my husbands lovely job and our secure lifestyle in London town (where we had lived for 15yrs & 20yrs). Having just bought the lovely house and gotten a huge mortgage we had to leave simply as we couldn't afford it.

It was so hard, leaving best pals and heading off to our life in the countryside, we had only one choice but to move back 'home' (where we grew up - coincidently in the same county). We bought a house in a village that (in absolute truth) was a MASSIVE comedown as we could only get a teeny mortgage and on we went.

It was amazing not to have the debt around our necks and now we have been here for 3 years, we have made some lovely pals, people that we could probably muddle on well with for the next 20 years - unless we changed it.

Being close to family has been great, an absolute necessity at some times and now...4 years after this nightmare began my husband has realised his worth and is setting a business up in his industry himself - finally...its been a tough 4 years work and 'direction' wise. But now, he has his direction, he is happy doing well and dare I say it...thriving.

Me? Well I have a creative business, painting & drawing selling online and by exhibitions. Alongside the babes I have kept my hand in and each year bought in about 10k, again essential at times. Now my husbands business (that we need to work) has commandeered my studio, which I need him to do to get some regularity in our lives - Daddy goes out to work, Daddy comes in from work...God I need that.

So..(and sorry for being so long-winded) but..what the frig do I do now? Little one is off to school in Sept, I have no studio to work in and we both know that village life isn't for us. We have an idea about moving to Suffolk as we have lovely pals and family there that really reflect us as a family...and of course because we could just about afford a family house there that we could grow into overtime, with a studio in the garden.

We are not inspired where we live now...should I just shut the frig up and get on with it or instigate another move? What if that one is wrong too?

Would love your thoughts...please x

Is your husband's business one that he could do wherever he wanted, or does it depend on location?

You were earning about £10K pa - am I right to assume that was earned whilst caring for your child? If so, would you realistically be able to earn much more than that now that your child's going to school?

Wouldn't it be worth hiring some space? I'm a bit shocked your husband just comandeered the studio!

Make up a list of places you could live in,with pros and cons of each.

If you can afford to move and your jobs don't depend on location, why haven't you moved already? What's your reason for staying put?

Thank you for your thoughts.

I needed DH to take over the studio as he has been working at home in a tiny space...really unhealthy for us all...and its a free space at his parents house.

I like the idea of finding somewhere locally to work and I do hear you about having more time so should be making more money...I just don't know...perhaps I should just go and get a job for a while.

Village life can be lovely, I do think a lot of this is house related...we are soooo hemmed in, I know that we are lucky to have a house at all though.

I think our reason for staying put is that we are frightened/scared of making another mistake.

I hear you about my husbands business, it is a takable anywhere one...once his formula is set up proper...

Thanks again

I'd love to know what your businesses are. Would it out you if you told us?

Yes x shall I pm you?

Yes please!

How about running an art class locally? You'd be using your talents, feeling valued for those talents and as an individual, and sharing the pleasure of art, plus you might make a bit of money

Thank you for that...I did run some last year, both children's and adults. They don't fill me with excitement but actually when I was teaching them I did enjoy them. All the ones I did were workshop based only, perhaps if I offered a course it may be different.....I could look into it again, thanks

I think you should stick with what you're doing and maybe look to go into illustrations for children's books.

I lived in a village for a while but soon discovered it didn't suit me or my DH... We're now in a bigger town with easy access to the countryside But there's more going on now ... Music, theatre, cinemas, restaurants .. Not that we manage to do much of any of it but I can if I want iyswim. Plus more like minded people to be friends with, as well as those you just happen to live near. So our move was definitely the right thing for us. If you feel truly unhappy where you are then I would go for it.

Thank you everyone, its great to have your feedback...