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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated that people buy the teacher but not the TA presents at the end of term.

134 replies

Lucyellensmum99 · 20/07/2012 21:06

This really annoys me! My DD had both a lovely teacher and TA this year. Her TA helps her loads, but when i asked other mothers if they bought for both they made a Hmm face at me and said that they only bought for the teachers. I think this is really sad, as the TAs often have quite close contact with the children. My DD loved her TA this year and was quite clear she wanted to buy the same for TA and Teacher. We didn't buy much, some cheap flowers and choccies, we spent no more than £8 as DP and DD managed to find some bargain chocolates (i hope they weren't minging!) that looked nice.

Why would you not buy for the TA too?

OP posts:
FunnyLittleFrog · 20/07/2012 22:24

Secondary here and the haul this year...

one bunch of flowers
one mug
one coaster

and three or four cards.

I get a lot of verbal thank yous and hugs when they leave and on results days which is really lovely and feels genuine.

Different world though!!

cheeseslovesme · 20/07/2012 22:25

The teaching assistants at the school where i work do get cards/gifts. Not as many as the main teacher but still get at least 10 gifts.Envy

pinkyp · 20/07/2012 22:26

I buy for them, my ds has a sn ta that really helped him Smile

Hulababy · 20/07/2012 22:27

Lucyellen - I went to a very average state "first" school in the mid 70s and teachers were given gifts and notes of thanks then too.

Original poster
Lucyellensmum99 · 20/07/2012 22:31

I went to the same school as my DD2 and we never bought anything for the teachers, or at least i don't remember it!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/07/2012 22:33

Hulababy I know all that.

But from the point of view of a lot of parents, they feel that if classes weren't so big, there would be no need for TA's in the first place unless they need to provide 1 on 1 support.

It doesn't help that at least 5 or 6 of the TA's at the school are Mums who openly admit they decided to do the job, mainly to fit around their own kids.

When schools first started taking on TA's, they didn't even have to have any formal training whatsoever...although many schools began to insist on it.

Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent there! Grin

So what I mean is, a lot of parents very much see TA's as an assistant that the teacher needs rather than a particularly important person in their kid's every day schooling.

Goldenbear · 20/07/2012 22:36

I spent £5.50 at PC. luckily, I had some fancy cards left from when I had my DD and have her one of those. DS was meant to make one or three but we didn't get around to it. Since last Friday there has been something going on everyday at school that has meant lots of preparation on my part. Last Friday was the school picnic and I baked cakes to sell for the event, Monday was a visit to a sports place, Wednesday it was sports day and I had to go and buy a yellow t- shirt as he was in the yellow team and we didn't have one. Yesterday was bring your bike to school day which is a tricky one as we live in 2,5 miles from the school! Coupled with sleep deprivation with DD and mornings starting at 5 I just failed to get around to the TAs but I've felt bad about all day and now I feel worse.

Original poster
Lucyellensmum99 · 20/07/2012 22:37

I think that the parents you are referring to then worra, are wrong. My DD struggles with thins and her teaching assistant has often sat and worked with her on a 1;1 basis. They are not there just to do the photo copying! Also, what is wrong with having a job that fits around the family, i know a few teachers who say it is one of the reasons for their career choice.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 20/07/2012 22:41

Luckily our parents come in the classroom a lot (every morning at the very least) and see what I do a fair bit - and see the roles I take on in assemblies for parents, open days, etc.

Original poster
Lucyellensmum99 · 20/07/2012 22:41

Oh Goldenbear, im really sorry if i have made you feel bad. To be totally honest, i wasn't really refering to folk like yourself who would find it too expensive (i did only spend £3 more than you Wink) to buy for TAs as well, as i do appreciate that it works out expensive. But honestly, there are people at my school who buy really expensive gifts fot eh teachers, im a bit Hmm about that anyway, but don't buy anything for the TAs.

You are definately not in the category of parents that have annoyed me today.

here, have some Wine becaue it sounds like you have had a shite week, and i for one am so glad the holidays are here and there will be no rush rush rush on monday morning

OP posts:
SoleSource · 20/07/2012 22:42

This year I gave a bottle of wine to HT, teacher, TA x 3.

chipmunksex · 20/07/2012 22:44

I have never bought a teacher or TA a present.

It is an incongruous modern habit (akin to having to buy cakes on your own birthday-wtf is that about?)

So I vote no presents for any teachers or tas then no one feels left out.

WorraLiberty · 20/07/2012 22:46

Lucy I did say 'unless providing 1 on 1 support'

There's nothing wrong with working around family, but a lot of the TA's at the school are simply seen as 'school Mums' rather than professionals IYSWIM.

Well not so much now, but back in the day when they didn't need any training.

SoleSource · 20/07/2012 22:46

I did because they helped me out throuugh a difficult time. Above and beyond he call of duty. The teacher called me today on her day off.:)

liketochat1 · 20/07/2012 22:49

We always make sure we include the TAs.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 20/07/2012 22:51

6 teachers/nursery nurses/TAs between the 2 of them. they are all getting a present... though the money has been spread a little thinly

Nannyto2 · 20/07/2012 22:52

I know of parents who all put £5 in and then buy gift vouchers for some where nice. I've seen that work really well.
Teachers I know this year were treated to 'afternoon tea' at a national trust house which is stunning, they preferred that to having 30 small gifts!!

Shagmundfreud · 20/07/2012 22:54

I bought ds1's TA flowers and a card. Because she's FAB.

I bought ds2's TA diddly squat, because she's a miserable cow.

Teachers got a card and a £10 Cafe Nero voucher each.

TA's can make a huge difference to a child's experience of school. There are some at my children's school who are clearly teacher calibre. And others who are really, really poor. I don't understand the range of abilities you find in this job.

Hownoobrooncoo · 20/07/2012 22:57

Have included TA's in past years but this year was just the class teacher as. Don't even know if there is a TA. On emum who was in front of me had a present for everyone including the headmaster and the office ladies and god knows who else and made a bit of a dhow of it. Cow that I am, I did roll my eyes and whe. I caught the teacher's eye she was strangely rolling hers at the same time.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 20/07/2012 22:58

We always buy for the teacher and t.a.

In dds school they seem to do as much as the teachers.

neverputasockinatoaster · 20/07/2012 23:01

DS took a present for his teacher and for the class TA. He made a card for his teacher and I wrote cards for both the teacher and the TA. I also sent in two boxes of chocolates and a card for the rest of the staff - DS is on the spectrum and has had a difficult year, the school has been amazing.

I am a teacher. This year I have not had a class but have supported children across 2 year groups in a 1 2 1 capacity, devising individual interventions for them and I have taught a group for maths. I have had no gifts and no thank yous. This is purely because no parent sees me as being involved in their child. I don't care about the gifts but a few words of thanks would have meant the world!

AGlassHalfEmptyNoLonger · 20/07/2012 23:03

Ds did 8 thank you cards for staff of his choosing (teacher, Senco/deputy head, headteacher, PPA teacher, and 4 support staff), and we sent in a selection of cakes for the staff room. I have in the past bought presents for teachers and TA's (and I have also bought nothing in 2 memorable cases). Nect year is his last year at this school and we have already decided that the SENCo will be getting a present, as she has supported him (and me) a lot in the years he has been at the school. Other staff will depend on how next year goes, but will be given cards as a minimum.

lechatnoir · 20/07/2012 23:10

As there are 3 teachers & 3 TA's in DS1's class most of the parent's clubbed together and split according to days worked. The main teacher who works 4 days got a £75 gift voucher and the remaining 2 half day teachers & 1 day TA got £20 and the 2 TA's who work 2 days each got £35. All got cards and quite a few children made little cards/gifts.

If there was 1 teacher & 1 TA I would buy for both but spend more on the teacher.

PiedWagtail · 20/07/2012 23:11

Both DD and DS made cards for both their teachers and TAs. We bought them all a (small) pressie too - in fact ds chose a nicer pressie for his TA than teacher (and I was happy with that as I like her more too!).

edam · 20/07/2012 23:15

We do a collection for the teacher and TA at ds's school.