to be angry at these 5 year olds bullying my DD?

[redrosette]

Sorry, didn't know where else to post this.

Bit of background - I've had problems with neighbours 2 doors along making fun of my disabilities, loud parties, lots of swearing etc and the whole street on their side. Also them falsely accusing me of calling their daughter names when I had been allowing their daughter to play with mine despite our arguments (they are just kids). Had to get the police involved due to threatening behaviour. It was really bad earlier this year.

So I've stopped my DD playing outside unless at her GPs houses elsewhere in town, as I dont want her near the neighbours house or houses of their friends.

DD has been great, after a few weeks of wanting to go out and play, she has accepted she can only do so when with her GPs (which isn't a problem, they watch her all week when I'm at work and we go to the park/soft play at weekends instead)

Tonight we arrive home after I pick her up from GPs. Kids are playing outside our drive. DD knows what she's to do and just heads straight for the door and waits for me whilst I get bags etc out of the car.

The other kids start holding their noses, sticking out their tongues, going 'nah nah nah' and 'ewwwww' at my DD.

My DD just ignored them. She was great. I did nothing either. But my blood is boiling. My DD is 4. They are 5-8 years old. THere were aboug 6 of them. They all live in this street.

I know you'll say 'they are only kids' but it isn't nice or fair. They are clearly influenced by their parents.

What do I do?

ooops I should add my DD would only play accompanied by me or another adult, lol, not herself

Well as much as it's not nice, holding their noses, sticking out their tongues, going 'nah nah nah' and 'ewwwww' isn't what I'd call actually bullying.

It all sounds very complicated and obviously we only have your side of the story but I'd pretty much ignore the petty kids stuff...just throw them a death stare if they do it again in front of you.

Do you rent? Can you move?

I would rise above it- although appreciate that's hard. It's just learned behaviour at their age and that's the example they're set at home.

I'd also explain it like that to my DC in the context of it mustn't be nice to live in a home where that behaviour is ok.

I know there isn't much I can do, it just makes me angry, I wish the neighbours (including the kids) would just leave us alone.

We own our house. We hope to move, but can't afford to just now. Saving frantically but hard when you've got big debts to pay off.

You pretend to be a teacher and you say firmly but not heatedly "Don't say things like that, it's not nice" and you look them in the eye while you do it. Then you go inside.

It sounds horrible and the parents should be giving them a stern telling off but it sounds like they are just as bad. It must be awful to have neighgbours like that. I would move if at all possible. Bullying just means repeatedly upsetting someone on purpose and it sounds like they are doing that.

Yanbu, but I can't think of anything you can do tbh. I don't really have advice. It would've been to speak to the parents and that's not going to work. I doubt the police would get involved, unless it would be classed as intimidation. That would only be taking into account that the police have already been involved.
While I am not saying you should call the police, it just seems unfair your dd can not step outside her own door. its as though the parents have been warned off and now the kids are starting because you wouldn't go to the police over childrens behaviour.
Sorry I really don't know what to suggest.

I think it sounds like a horrid situation, can you move?

Are they renting?

I think you reacted in the best way possible - by not reacting.

They will get bored and they can't exactly complain if you ignore them.

Hope you can move soon.