Just had the bizarrest playdate

[BertieBotts]

Friend of DS's from nursery's mum asked us over for lunch today after nursery. The boys are just under 4 so I was invited too (and she made this clear), however, she only made food for them and didn't offer me anything. We spent the whole time sitting outside drinking tea and smoking, which, okay, I know isn't great but I don't object to as such. Then her partner just lit up a huge and rather strong smelling joint with the children playing just feet away. I had no idea what to say, so I said nothing and just sat there feeling very uncomfortable. They even offered me some to which I said no thanks, I don't ever do stuff like that around my child.

...I just... what?? Is this what people do? It's not normal behaviour, is it? And I wouldn't be unreasonable to never let DS play there ever again? I can't quite believe I didn't say anything at the time, but I just had no idea how to handle it.

Dh and I smoke weed but would never do it in front of the DC! I wouldn't get hammered in front of them either because if you are looking after them you have to be in a fit state to do so.

I would also have issues popping out my bong in front of a total stranger as well, I think if you choose to indulge in illegal substances you have to bear in mind they are illegal and not everyone is comfortable breaking the law. I would be uncomfortable being in a speeding car for example, and I think smoking weed is a more serious offence than speeding! They can't have much respect for your feelings so I definitely would avoid them in future.

I don't smoke, and I don't really like people smoking anything near me, let alone my DD, but I wouldn't be surprised by this at all.

Sunny day in the garden, a number of parents I know would probably have a spliff with their cuppa.

I'd just feel mildly sorry for them. Try to stay far enough away that the smell didn't get into my clothes. I wouldn't find it bizarre in the slightest.

I must have had the opposite of a sheltered life.

I haven't got any issues smoking weed, although its not really something i do these days. Certainly wouldn't be doing on a play date though. No issues with the wine, but again wouldn't do it on a play date, although a few friends do. It goes straight to my head though so it wouldn't work for me. I don't tend to make friends lunch, although i would make it for the kids. Friends are the same to me. If it was someone i didn't know then i probably would make them something as i wouldn't know what their expectations were.

Now, I wouldn't have been smoking at a play date, and would have disapproved, a bit, of them smoking. I would have just found the joint funny,at that point. Drugs near children I don't have a massive issue with, drugs used by the person in charge of a child is a different matter. A 3 yo is not going to know the difference between a joint and a Marlborough.

I would have decided never leave my DC in their care.

I would be avoiding these people,OP,and I think I would have to just tell them. It's up to them what they do in their own home and I wouldn't presume to tell them what they should and shouldn't do,but I wouldn't want my child seeing them and thinking it was 'normal'.

lolaflores I was also in Spain in the 80s/90s and saw lots of drug action,and in environments where I would have least expected it

Your username now makes sense,too

Do you remember 'Cuidado con Paloma que me han Dicho ques es de Goma'?! Not Lola Flores,alas,but I was singing it for some very young Spanish kids today and they had never heard of it I was shocked to my very core

I might well have left at the cigarette, I would certainly have left at the joint. I have also never known alcohol drunk at a play date, kids birthday parties and the odd glass of wine or champagne yes, lunchtime play date no.

But then my judgey pants would have been raised at the invited for lunch and no food (never mind my blood sugar plummeting so I might have been quite rude).

It's no more 'bizarre' then a bottle of beer or a glass of wine and it has medicinal use. Your cigarettes are far more dangerous and have no health benefits.

I would have left and called social services

I'd avoid them as well.

And a bottle of beer or wine at lunchtime, on a playdate with someone I'd only just met would have me wondering about exactly how addicted to alcohol they were.

But then I think loads of people are in massive denial about their addictions

Lucy Do you often waste SS time? They are not racking up lines of coke or getting so shitfaced they can't look after their children. Believe me people don't get their kids taken off them for smoking the odd spliff. Getting blind drunk in charge of your children makes you much less able to repond to any crisis that may happend than smoking a spliff.

That said OP I don't smoke weed and even if I did I wouldn't do it in front of my kids or someone I didn't really know on a play date.

Did she offer round some pombears too?

I've heard they're good for the munchies.

Pombears don't do shit for the munchies. Their little tiny bear faces are much too distracting anyway.

Having a spliff around children is downright irresponsible parenting (and if you are not the p. What sort of messages does that send to their kids when they are old enough to understand? Smoking spliffs does affect the brain and the body which means the smoker is not 100% lucid enough to make proper decisions to look after their children.

I would have said my piece and then left - immediately.