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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate this 'Graduation' malarkey

61 replies

cakeymakey · 19/07/2012 13:04

Am I being unreasonable to hate the increasing americanisation of our culture.

In my day graduation was what you did when you left university. Just once in your life.

Several of my friends are talking about 'graduation parties' for their four year olds from nursery. Its a leavers party fgs. They are not graduates. They cannot write their own names!

Feel the same about school proms - I'll be moody as anything when my boys get to that age and I am forced to contribute to tux hire and a stretch limo.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 19/07/2012 15:30

Oh YASOOOOOONBU

It's over- hyped materialistic CRAP-not just in nurseries, the whole "prom" thing is farcical & divisive.

The wanaabee, orange-skinned, big fat gpsy wedding acolytes who just want to flaunt their money by dressing up their children in OTT dresses, hair-do's & make up ( that's just the 11 yr olds FFS) are setting "traditions" that are dicriminating against those who don't want to do this, or who just plain can't afford it.

By making it acceptable & normal, the kids (usually the girls) are under terrible pressure to conform & it absorbs most of the discussions in the school playground & at the school gates from Easter onwards.

Pathetic.........can you tell it's a sore point with me? Smile

Start a rebellion OP hire a fire engine & take your DC's to the local ballpark for a play & pizza party Grin

ALittleScatterOfRain · 19/07/2012 15:43

I think it's a bit daft. An end of year party, or leavers' party would do just as well.

The girl across the road went to the prom (well, 'to prom' as she put it) at the end of year 11 and the police ended up being called as they were all drunk in the middle of the road at 3 o'clock in the morning.

We had a Leavers' Ball (at the end of Upper Sixth) which sounds much nicer imo Grin

Bossybritches22 · 19/07/2012 15:48

much naicer Alittle Grin

...and at the end of the whole school career I can understand a celebration

like a party or Leavers Ball but a "prom"

it's just not ...well....terribly British is it? Hmm Confused

butisthismyname · 19/07/2012 15:50

our local paper had a pullout section with photos of them all. My day, they just put the O and A level results in

lolaflores · 19/07/2012 15:55

YANBU.
You can have a cap and gown when you have friggin well earned you whelp. Not because you are no longer shitting yourself.
Agree with the views that we need to stop the "good breathing, good listening, good standing" culture. What the fuck else would you be doing if you weren't at nursery? Entrepenuring something for the under 5's?
It is unreasonable as it is being grafted on along with proms and what the fuck ever else we think is wonderful. Oh, yes, the Gulf War and invading things.

Sorry, having a very tedious day here. Not usually this grumpy.....or maybe..!?

molepom · 19/07/2012 16:08

Grumpy git here who's just been dealing with the whole bollocks that is proms and graduation ceremonies.

I have to say though, when it does all go tit's up and overboard...chucking a couple of cats in with the pigeons isn't half a lot of fun and I have to admit..yes, satisfying.

thegreylady · 19/07/2012 16:17

Yesterday I went to dgs leaving do from private pre prep. We all sat in a circle and each leaver chose a song and stood up while the others sang it. Then the owner said some lovely things about the child and they were each given a bag with their work,a book of photos/comments and a framed photograph. Dgs was feeding the school rabbit in his.
Finally they were given a hug from each teacher and everyone clapped. To me that was a perfect 'graduation'.

lolaflores · 19/07/2012 16:18

thegreylady that sounds so lovely, personal and thoughtful. It is about the kids and not cuteness. Bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house

soverylucky · 19/07/2012 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplefairies · 19/07/2012 16:46

I sort of agree and sort of disagree.

I think celebrations to mark the end of a particular phase in life are a nice idea in general. Here in Germany, there is no such thing as a university graduation ceremony - you just collect your certificate from the secretary's office and that's that - which I think is horribly unceremonious. I think if the nursery kids are having fun, then that's the most important thing. The problems start when parents are pressured into spending ridiculous amounts of money on all of the things that are actually secondary to the celebration itself.

When I had my sixth form leavers' ball (mid90s), we bought dresses from TopShop and our dads drove us to the "venue" (we were one of the first year groups to have our ball in a hotel as opposed to in the school itself, I guess that's when it all started). I have a cousin who is 14, and at her end-of-year leaving "prom", the girls wear Karen Millen and Reiss, the shoes are all Kurt Geiger and it's a stretch limo there and back.

The commercialisation of it all is sad because, if you're used to that at 14, what on earth is going to make for a memorable experience when you do "graduate", or get married? I couldn't afford my first Karen Millen dress until I was in my late 20s, but at least then it felt like something special.

sensuallettuce · 19/07/2012 17:43

Oooh yes YANBU - loads of "graduation" prom pics from nursery all over FB ffs?! Hmm

KenLeeeeeee · 19/07/2012 17:49

YADNBU. Makes my teeth itch.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/07/2012 18:14

Bastard Americans and their quite-nice-to-do celebrations Angry

crashdoll · 19/07/2012 18:20

You can have a cap and gown when you have friggin well earned you whelp. Not because you are no longer shitting yourself.

Hahahaha! Grin

SweetGrapes · 19/07/2012 18:22

DS had a graduation ceremony at the end of reception. They made their own caps and certificates and wrote their own names.
It was good fun and they enjoyed it.

If it was shop bought stuff I would be quite Hmm about it...

creamteas · 19/07/2012 18:46

But you are sort of missing the point perhaps.

Graduation ceremonies are a commodity that can be sold. I have no idea how much money they make, but I am sure it it very profitable given the businesses that complete for the contacts at my university Grin (who also make a sizable profit). They serve very little other purpose along with big weddings

Why shouldn't other educational providers and the suppliers who can meet the demand get in on the act?

SilkySmith · 19/07/2012 18:49

I had a "graduation" ball after 6th form 25 years ago! (limos, treatments, ballgowns, corsages...) Didn't make me desire my uni graduation any less or drive me to drugs! what a load of rubbish! Celebrating the little and large milestones in life is what makes it enjoyable!

CrapBag · 19/07/2012 19:52

YABU.

Its just a bit of fun for the children and an excuse to have a little party with friends that they may not see anymore.

Taking anything away from a real graduation Hmm. Really? A bit pathetic to think that. They probably won't even remember it when and if they graduate.

Thymeout · 19/07/2012 21:37

Why can't people WAIT any more? Babies leaving the maternity ward dressed as teenagers? Little girls having pamper/makeover parties? Limo's have now started appearing at the end of Yr 6.
How many graduation ceremonies will they have had before the real thing? Let toddlers be toddlers. How about a teddy bears' picnic? Dressing them up in caps and gowns is like putting clothes on pet animals. Makes (some) adults smile but means nothing to the wearer.

pixielicious · 19/07/2012 23:25

I have to say, I agree with the miserable gits on this one. I've (thankfully Grin ) never come across this "tradition", but it seems like the sort of "fun" that is only fun for the parents iykwim? I can't really remember that far back, but I'm pretty sure that when I was four and at nursery I didn't even know what university was, much less have any kind of concept of graduation. I agree that it's really a non-issue and totally harmless, but on balance I think that there are more age-appropriate ways of celebrating leaving nursery that a) aren't as tacky, and b) might actually have some resonance with the children.

Pendeen · 19/07/2012 23:31

The Americans have 'high school graduates' and 'college graduates'

How do these relate to English qualifications?

As far as I am concerned, the only graduates are from a proper University.

SilkySmith · 20/07/2012 20:25

Pendeen they only graduate if they metriculate, we don't really have that in the UK, do in Ireland too to some extent and more people repeat A levels to metriculate or get higher grades. In America I think you can fail highschool and have to go back and try again before you graduate. In the UK people all leave school whether they got the grades or not so its a bit different TECHNICALLY in terms of actually graduating

exoticfruits · 20/07/2012 20:38

YANBU-I feel so sorry for DCs these days they get it all so soon and it doesn't leave anything to look forward to at the appropriate age.

YvonneMcGruder · 20/07/2012 20:43

YANBU, it's all absolutely ridiculous. Someone I know posted pictures on FB of their 3 (?) year old child at nursery, wearing the full gown and mortar board, complete with a little graduation certificate scroll.
I did a face like this Shock as I was literally lost for words, then fell about on the floor laughing as I'd never seen anything like it!
Let them be kids FGS, there's enough time to do the graduation thing later!

SoggySummer · 20/07/2012 20:47

Am with you OP.

Tacky and tasteless.

We are breeding a generation of spoilt brats with little to aim for in life cos its all handed to them on a plate at a stupidly low age.

I dont get the prom shite for 11yos leaving primary school either. One bunch of kids around here had a tacky pink limo driving them around. They didnt even have what I would call nice dresses suitable for 11yos on. They were dressed like mini adults and looked vile and cheap, not pretty and girly which they should at 11 but that is whole other thread I know.

What the hell was wrong with Britain?? Why the need to import the tackiest of american customs to our culture???

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