to have accidentally kidnapped a child?

[BrittaPerry]

OK, looking back, IW (a bit, without meaning to be) U...

This afternoon, I was messing about with my bicycle, fitting my new child trailer to it, etc. A little girl (who I have chatted with before - I know where she lives etc but don't know her very well, iyswim) came over and started asking questions about everything, in the way that 5 year olds do.

Well, she was passing, on her scooter, with a group of adults, and she stopped behind. She does this quite a lot.

This little girl spends a lot of time out in the street, follows people down the street chatting to them, etc. I know her mum to nod to, but don't know anything more about her.

Anyhow, so then the little girl invited herself into my front garden and started smelling all the flowers, chatting about snails, etc. The fence is really low so she was still visible from the street.

DD1 (who is also 5) came home, and was really happy to have a little friend to play with. I was actually overjoyed to hear her taking turns, having "normal" conversations and so on - DD1 isn't so good socially and in fact last year this little girl had refused to play with DD1 because she was apparently "weird". So they played various little games, went creepy crawly hunting in the bushes, etc.

The little girl kept wandering into my house, so I asked her if her Mummy knew where she was. She said yes, definitely, but I was still a bit iffy, so I told her to go to her house, get a cardigan (she was a bit cold) and ask her mummy if it was ok for her to come and play for half an hour, and that I would be just outside my house if she wanted a chat.

So, little girl goes skipping off, I watch her across to her house, she goes in and is about ten minutes, then comes out with a cardigan. I thought it a bit strange that her mum hadn't even said hi, but I had seen a blind being lifted up so I thought maybe she was busy or shy or whatever. I was stood where I was very clearly visible from the house for the whole ten minutes.

OK, so the little girl came in my house, I gave her a cup of water and got out the colouring pencils and DD1 and LG sat happily chatting and drawing - we got the microscope out to look at the fibres on the paper, etc. It was very nice :-)

But then, LGs mum came down the drive, shouting at LG through the window to "come out of there right now!" and LG ran to the door and started crying while her mum shouted about how she had been looking everywhere etc etc. The poor woman looked really worried.

I told her that I had asked LG if her mum knew where she was, but the mum didn't really acknowledge me.

Now i feel really bad - did I kidnap the little girl?

I wouldn't let DD1 go in a house without a quick chat with the adult, but then I wouldn't let DD1 spend so long outside without me checking on her - by this point, LG had been with us for about 2 hours - so I presumed that the other family were more relaxed or the LG was just more trustworthy and able to be responsible, or both.

So... WIBU? What should I do in future?

Is this you, OP?

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174781/Shes-alive-Heart-wrenching-moment-Lynsie-Johnson-reunited-girl-vanished.html

If so, can I have your autograph?

I thought that dances!!

@NeverBeenTrulyLoved - YES!! haha! That!

Someone on here, recently, told me that I should have all contact with my children either withdrawn or supervised by a professional, because I admitted to leaving my children alone in a tent in a deserted garden, or in a locked hotel room.

Yet the reaction to a mother letting her child regularly wander round the street, unsupervised for hours at a time, talking to strangers, going into strangers houses, is a muted "meh".

Haha, no I'm not the person from the daily fail.

Well, I have only just got home from band so I will have to go tomorrow.

I'm a bit scared though - this is going to sound awful. Right... I dress in doc martens, bright flowery dresses, purple hair. I ride a rickety bicycle, am in a brass band and sit outside my house doing uni work or painting. She seemed really groomed, jet black har, tan, jeggings, hoop earrings, body warmer thing. I'm a bit scared. I know it s me being stupid, but I get a bit terrified of people dressed in that kind of way - I assume (quite rightly, ime) that they will just think I'm weird.

So...script please! Otherwise I will talk rubbish, an I really want dd to have friends, because a life of sitting reading and daydreaming leads to...well, me.

The LG Mother's reaction was odd and fake IMO. Iwouldn't have anything to do with them again. I think you may be unwittingly creating a difficult situation.

Even if you were being a bu you were nowhere near as bad as someone in my friends street. She let her 9 year old and her 5 year old out together, the first time the 5 year old had been allowed out.

They told her they were going to a certain friends house. All well and good. My friend went to get her DDs in for tea, knocked the door where they were meant to be, to be told they were not there.

Cue frantic searching of the whole estate, by loads of people, only for DDs to emerge from where they said they were going to be and where the woman had said they weren't!! That was over an hour later and they had been there all the time.

I think you should go to the girl's mother, because the little girl should understand that her mother needs to know where she is. If you get a chance to talk to her again, try to drive that point home.

I think mum knew exactly where LG was.. She is playing power games and letting LG know who is in charge.

I'd just pop over if you see her in and say "hi, I wanted to introduce myself as our daughters seem to like playing together! I'm Britta. I hope you didn't mind them playing together the other day? Would you like to come over for a cup of tea and they can play together?" etc etc...

she might feel better about it after you've had a chat.

Just be yourself! If she's nice she wint care, and if she's a cow you don't care!

What does it matter what she was wearing?
You are every bit as good as her.
I would probably have done the same as you (I probably have I just can't remember details!)
Go across to the Mum's house and apologise for not checking with her but say how lovely and well behaved her dd is and how it would be nice for your dd to have a friend locally and ask to swap phone numbers so next time it happens you can just text her to say "X is at my house - is it ok for her to stay for a while"

hmm Im not too sure about this my dd 6 often plays out with 2 little boys in my close, I can see the whole close from my hall window, so no one would see me checking every 10 mins. my dd also did this when she was 5, she could be out for 2 hours on a nice evening 4-6, if she had eaten as soon as we goy home from school and read her reading book. She is not allowed in thier house and she knows that, on the odd occassion she has she has had a bollocking for it. The little girl may have asked if she can go in and mum said no and that is why she is annoyed. The only difference is my dd will not pester others she does not know but she will talk to the neighbours.

gon with your own dd and encourage dd to knock the door and ask if her dd wants to come and play. interjects and say Hi, Im Brittaperry, just wanted to check its ok for x to come and play.

or wait for the dd to come over next and then say ill just check with your mummy iys ok. then go over and say Hi im Brittaperry your dd is over playimg my dd, They are mostly outside but dd is in and out like a blue arsed fly so just wanted to check it is pk for x to come in at all.

Update...
LG has now attached herself somewhat to dd. last night she was pushing her hand though our letterbox at 8pm. She is lovely though, just a bit needy. All the kids in the street were obviously out today, and I was hanging around keeping an eye on dd2, herding kids off the road, supplying juice, etc while I was in theory studying, and it was obvious that every child knows lg (and I mean every child - children that were just walking past who live streets away included)
But she went in for dinner and again for tea, a man (uncle? Too young to be her dad I think) gave her a sharing bag of wot sits as he walked past to share with the other kids, so she isn't being ignored by her family.

I essentially had to chase her from our garden tonight - she kept coming back! I told her dd was in bed, but s he kept knocking and hanging around in our garden.

Lovely girl, but very intense.