To have let my son cross two roads without me?

[mrsbaglady]

DH has come down on me like a ton of bricks about this, and I just wondered what the rest of you do and whether you think IWBU. I'm a bit upset about it and will take your opinions on board.

DS was 7 in June, so, only just. He's a cautious, sensible, thoughtful type who always tells us off if we're driving two miles above the speed limit or unconsciously breaking any tiny rule! He has a friend who is 8, almost 9, and because DS is pretty mature, they get on well. This friend came round for DS today, and I was going to take all the DC out and drop DS off at the friend's house when I went. I was still getting ready and DS's friend asked if they could just leave. DS was surprised and asked "Is that ok?" - you could see he was excited at the thought of the independence, but a bit apprehensive all the same. They left, I dropped in shortly afterwards to make sure they'd arrived ok, and all was fine. They had two small (residential, suburban) roads to cross, and the walk takes about 4 mins.

When I told DH, however, he thought this was far too young, anything might have happened, and I was being irresponsible ... was I? Of course when DS left I had a slight feeling of anxiety, but I thought this is what happens when you start to let them go!!

I think this is fine, i would watch them for a while though. I remember being sent to shop to get my gran cigs at that age!

YANBU. I would have done the same.

They have to start crossing roads without adults at some time so why not now in your case? Your DH should be praising him for arriving at his destination safely not criticising the whole idea.

YANBU

unless you live on a stilt house amidst spaghetti junction of course YANBU

I think it's fine, but from personal experience of people boggling at me letting my unaccompanied sensible 7 yr old cross one residential cul-de-sac, I think I'm in the minority.

Ds started going to the shop by himself, crossing one quiet road at that age. The shop is an 8 min walk away. By 9 he was walking to school by himself which is 20 mins away. YANBU

I agree that YANBU. He sounds like a sensible lad. Might be worth having another conversation with him about road safety and not getting distracted with his friends etc, but they sound like 'low traffic' roads so they are a good place to start. If it was a busy dual carriageway type road that i would say yabu but i'm sure if that was the case you would not have allowed him to go.

Sounds fine to me

YANBU
Even though I can see your dh's point of view and I too would have felt panicky, it's good to let them have a bit of freedom. I would like to say it gets easier as they get older but I still worry about ds1 who is 12 and gets the bus to and from school, goes to the town etc. I think that's part and parcel of being a parent and we'll always worry about them no matter what their age

I used to walk to school or to the shops at that age - village, some residential road crossing, and one B-road crossing involved.

If a sensible kid, it's fine I think.

I think it's absolutely fine but I can understand why your DH might have thought it's the sort of decision he might have wanted to be involved in as it's a 'first'.

Trouble is, he wasn't there so that wasn't practical.

Also, if the roads aren't busy duel carriage ways and are generally quiet then it should be fine. I agree with having a road safety chat about not being distracted by friends/phones/iPods and looking both ways before crossing. He sounds like a sensible boy but have the chat for your own piece of mind.

Just to put things in perspective, my mum used to send us aged THREE to get a loaf of bread from the shops.

This involved crossing two busy main roads AND walking across a bridge over a river!

Children can be much more sensible than we give them credit for.

YANBU.

The issue isn't the number of roads but how busy they are etc... He is obviously mature and was with an older child.

Don't see the problem.

I would have done exactly what you did.

yanbu at all, my 7 yr old (7 in dec) can go to my local shop and has to cross 4 very small roads on the way (its a housing estate 20 mile hr limits) he is sensible enough to do this.

it all depends on the child, some are some are not, ds2 was a bit older before i let him as he is impulsive.

It would depend on the exact nature of the roads, there are some near here that I allow DS (8) to cross by himself and and others where there is poor visibility due to parked cars etc which are definite nos. We take it occasion by occasion at the moment, but unless he has been explicitly told he can go by himself or cross ahead of me he still knows to wait.

He has been walking himself to school for a few months now (6 or 7 mins walk, no roads to cross and with me 5 mins behind with DD).

Oh phew, thank goodness for that! The way DH was talking, I was starting to think that DS really was still just a baby and I was being dangerously irresponsible. THANK YOU for the reassurance!!

Primafacie, THREE?!? !

Of course YANBU and your DH is being far too overprotective. Children have to practice road safety, not just hear the theroy of it.