The background
We live o/seas and only see gps on either side about twice a year, although the visits usually last about 3 weeks each time. We have 2ds and I am currently pg with dc3.
Whilst pg with ds1 dh and I told families that we wanted our dcs to call us Mummy and Papa, pil responded by saying that they wanted to be called the French version of granny and grandpa as they had just moved to France, we assumed that they meant grandmere and grandpere, a bit of a mouthful but fine.
Fast forward to birth of ds1 and they announce that the local regional version of grandparents is Mammy and Pappy, and that is what they are to be called.
At the time I was so knackered from birth and no sleep, and also worried about rocking the boat and to be frank so flabbergasted that I didn't make any objection.
DS1 is now 4, DS2 is just turning 1 and dc3 is due in Nov. DS1 got very confused by the similarity in name, ds2 has downs and is very likely to be even more confused by both the similarity in name pronouncing and listening.
I have asked DH to speak to his parents about this since the start, FIL is aware that it is a source of friction, and dh has promised repeatedly to speak to his dm about it but has chickened out each time.
The question is AIBU to ask them to change to another name which isn't one letter away from ours to avoid confusion, or do I suck it up as it has been going on so long and pretend that it doesn't boil my blood every time I hear it.
If I do ask for the name to be changed do I patiently wait for dh to do it himself and bring it up with his dm or do I wade in with totally lack of subtlety and grace and prob lose my rag?
I am aware it's only a couple of times a year that we see them - but the names are for life, I may age gracefully and become more tolerant but the signs aren't good so far.