Passive Agressive Headteacher

[stopraining]

Have name changed as dont want to be outed as other parents have

Sorry it's long!!

HT been at school three years, leaves friday.

The other week each year 6 class were asked to vote two children out of each class to receive a peer nominated award to be given at leavers assembly. There are three classes and ninety children. The votes in DS class were counted in class and their teacher announced the two winners.

However last week their teacher told the class they she should not have announced the winners until the assembly so she would have to change them herself.

One of the parents contacted year group head who said they wouldnt do that.

Come leavers assembly the other child did not receive the peer award and they gave it to a different child.

Some of the parents were moaning between themselves so my H mentioned it to the head. She denied it all and said the child who got the award did get the most votes. That would mean that the whole class were lying my H said to her. The votes were counted in class, the teacher had congratulated the two children!! H asked her then why did the other parent have to contact year group head.

H was very polite and pleasant with her. She said she would look into.

I saw HT the next day and apologised and said H should not have mentioned it straight after the leavers assembly but he did so as other parents were complaning between themselves.

She was quite abrupt with me although smiling at the same time. She put her hand up to me and started walking away and said "I've already said I'll look into it so dont need to discuss it any further". I then saw her go up to deputy head pulling faces and nodding away in my direction.

This really annoyed me as I apologised. Never had contact with head before but always get letters home asking for suggestions on how to improve school and that any probs she is always available.

Some parents have said she only wants comments if positive not negative.

I can understand her annoyance to a point as about 25 other awards were given and had not been since 2005 (that's the last date on the trophies name plates). Also she is leaving so probably wanted it to be success.

Awards were a bit daft really as there were awards for RE, language, geography etc. The children did french in year 4 for one term and not done the other subjests at all in year 6!

Was H unreasonable? Should he have just let it go?

Disappointed that DS year 6 leaving been overshadowed by this.

Oops, some of first line missing - some parents have been threatened with police involvement for posting on the internet about the poor quality of school dinners.

It sounds as though,'you' (the parents), are not going about the best way of communicating your grieviences.

You shouldn't apologise on your H's behalf, that was his decision to do that.

If you had a point to make then it is seperate and keepit to your point.

I can understand the head, as all she seems to be getting is a gossip fest and fb postings .

I am really not sure the police would be interested in posts that are not offensive or inciting riots etc! That sounds a very hollow threat to me!

The 'rules of engagement' for the election of winners and the presentation of prizes need to be 100% tight and everyone needs to be made aware of them beforehand. Hell hath no fury like a parent who thinks the prize process is unfair. Even if teachers decide who wins, entirely on merit/performance, there will still be some parents who aren't happy and who will complain. You have some justification in your views but in the grand scheme of things...

It sounds as though this HT will be no loss. Be thankful for that. I can appreciate that it is a big deal when a child leaves primary school and do understand that you are disappointed. If you have other children at the school, perhaps the matter could be raised with the new HT via the PTA??

Hope DS fares well and is happy at secondary school.

Thanks sloobreeus.

DS was annoyed that his friend didnt get his award. The boy in question is lovely and polite. DS spoke to him at school and told him that it was unfair. Luckily the friend is ok about it.

I suppose DS probably annoyed because the boy who was given it has not always been the most pleasant of children at their school.

Thank goodness that HT is leaving!

I'm not sure why on earth you apologised. What had your husband done wrong? The poor boy who won and then wasn't given the award! Who does that?

The head clearly has an attitude problem - you're right, very passive aggressive. Fortunately, she's leaving.

Personally I think that's a dreadful award. Basically a prize for being the most popular.

Hi Longtalljosie

I apologised as the timing (straight after assembly) was perhaps not appropriate?

Husband never has chance to attend many school things and he'd never seen/met the head before. He said she looked approachable so thought ok to speak to her. However I saw her reaction, and as some other parents have said, her smile becomes more of a sneer when she is put on the spot.

I doubt she knew what the class teacher had done though. Unfortunately she will back her staff 100% so husband mentioning award would be a waste of time.

(Said teacher ripped up child's work and said it was rubbish, she denied it though the whole class heard, told a boy he was much slimmer now then when he first started - 6 months ago, told my DS not to wear his cap when it was hot as he's really pale and could do with some sun! Told a girl that she ought to get her mum to teach her her how to use hair brush as hair is messy, loads of other things but head/deputy say the teacher is very experienced in pastoral care! If she ignores these comments there was no way she was going to accept being approached by H after assembly)

DeWe - you would normally expect the popular children to have been selected by their peers but on this occasion this was definately not the case.

This is probably why it makes this whole issue unseemly. It was lovely that two quiet but hard working children were selected. It showed a very mature attitude to choose who they did.

I was very surprised when DS told me who had won as us parents can usually predict who would usually be selected.

Horrible award and why change the two 'winners' just because the the teacher announcd the names. Doesn't make sense to me at all. The HT might have had other parents approach her, or overheard the parents muttering or secretly she diesn't agree with this outrageous award. I never heard anything like it...

Regardless of the details the ht's attitude is awful IMHO, if she can't mediate politely between parents and teachers she needs to reconsider he career options. A parent catching her after a leavers assembly or in the playground shouldn't be unexpected and her dismissing you without engaging in a short but polite conversation is just rude.

I might be projecting a bit, but I'm sick of making excuses for people in responsible positions having delusions of grandeur and no social skills. I don't care if she's sick of hearing about it or is offended on behalf of her colleague, suck it up, remember why they put money in your account every month and show some respect and common courtesy.

(shit managers piss me right off)

at the ripping up of the work!

Yes, the ripping up the work is terrible. She would deny it and be backed up by the senior team. They would make out that the children who saw it were either telling a lie or misinterpreted it!

I am shocked that teachers can get away with this sort of behaviour and it gets covered up.

This school has a good ofsted report which proves to me that these inspection reports should not always been relied upon.

I don't think you should stop complaining about these incidents, even if each one is brushed off. What they say to parents in public and what they think in private may not be the same. And if you all just accept it, there's definitely no comeback for her...