Brother in law babysitting

[cheekypickle]

DH wants his brother to babysit for us Saturday night.

On Thursday DH wants BIL to come over to see babies routine except DH won't be there

I'm nervous to show BIL routine by myself

I would prefer it if DH was there

Why are you nervous of being alone with your BIL?

Why? Do you have reason not to trust him or something?

Why are you nervous of your BIL?

Why are you nervous? What is your relationship with BIL like? If you want to hear opinions you'll need to give a bit more info.

He's very smart, I feel intimidated by him

What are you nervous of?
Ex bil used to come and hang out with me in the evenings if he was up visiting and ex dh was out. Unless there is a back story seems odd to be nervous.

Aw cheeky! Don't be intimidated, it will probably be the other way round!

Write the routine down then you won't get so flustered. But you must have self-esteem issues if you're intimidated by someone who you would trust to babysit for you

He might be smart, but he's coming to you to learn something that you know, and he doesn't. Does he do anything to make you feel intimidated? Does he act like he always knows best? Or fires lots of questions at you?

He wears smart clothes?

Is it something about BIL's behaviour that intimidates you, or do you feel this way with other people? Do you actually want him to babysit, or are you just agreeing because it's what your DH wants?

Sometimes you just don't feel that comfortable with certain people, that's just the way by it is sometimes.

Can he come round on a day when your dh is there?

I'm impressed he's bothering to find out. He might be smart, but that's no guarantee he knows anything about children! My DH is smart, but useless with babies, and they're his own.

Write a list of the most important things. Rough timing for bath/bed. Where to find things (thermometer and what a fever is/when he should call you) he'll need. Dislikes/likes of child i.e. my DS will only go to bed if his teddy and lion are in there first. Ways to calm them down if they get upset.
Oh and if your child is in nappies pay, bribe or do anything to make him/her fill his nappy, then hand said child to BIL and say here you go, best way to learn is to practise...

For gods sake. I'd just be happy that hes showing an interest. So you're intimidated because he's smart? What's that all about! You don't want a herp derp looking after your child do you? :o

Cheekypickle, YABU. Please please please stop posting on 'aibu' and go and get yourself some real life help. You are clearly not well as the tone of all your recent posts suggests. 'AIBU' is NOT exactly the best place to get support, which is what you need. Honestly!

Unless there are any other issues?... You are always going to meet people who are more intelligent than you (if by smart you mean intelligent). That's life. You don't need to be intimidated.

He's doing you a favour in babysitting and he's being sensible and coming prior to the babysitting to learn what you do with your child so things will go smoothly when you're not there.

He's family, you should not be intimidated by him.

GaryTank,assume other issues but NOT with her BIL. Check out her other posts.

whois - best post ever. 100% agree.

whois after posting mine, I saw yours and did a quick search. I think you are quite right with your post. And I have no experience of bi-polar disorder or mental health issues so won't attempt to offer any advice.

I really wouldn't worry. It's nice that your BIL is offering/has agreed to babysit and even nicer he's prepared to come round first and see how things work.

Unless he has children then I expect he is the one worrying that he'll do something wrong and then you won't trust him with your baby. It doesn't matter how smart he is, you will know much more than him about your own child.

whois, you said exactly what I was thinking and trying to articulate. I suspect it will be ignored though, like every other post that OP makes and receives the same advice.

I was lurking but logged in to say I agree totally with whois

whois I agree with you, have seen the other threads.

OP, do what I do:- write down all the things you want to say, do it in bullet points if you need to, so then the babysitter will have all the info and you won't need to worry about forgetting anything.

Usually when we have someone babysitting DS (which isn't very often) I do bullet points of his routine and usual timings.

Also, you don't need to be intimidated of your BIL just because he's smart. I read in your other threads that you're a teacher, so you're a professionally trained person too.

I'm sure BIL and your DC will be fine.

cheeky Have you spoken to DH about this? I suspect this anxiety is another manifestation of your illness - unless BIL has given you cause to be scared, in which case your issue would be with him babysitting, not with showing him the routine.

I second whois. AIBU is not the place to get the support you need. Please look after yourself, seek real life help.
Good luck with everything.