that no man will ever truly love me

[NeverBeenTrulyLoved]

because I am very fat and not very pretty. I dress well and am confident. I have been told countless times I am not pretty and my GM told me I was ugly.

I have let myself be used by men just because I craved their attention.I fear I shall always be single. I would love to have a baby. maybe a sperm donor is for me. Time is ticking..

AIBU?

I need a new therapist.

Imperial. Yes.I was overweight when I met my husband (not as overwight as I am now but still quite big) He is not overweight by any stretch of the imagination and had a 6 pack at the time.

I am very lucky, but then so is he. I may be fat but I am a great wife!

Does GM mean your Grandmother?

She may be jealous that you are young & she isn't.

My Nan can say nasty things when she's in a strop or feeling low... she will say the most undermining & hurtful things at times.
I'm the only family member who has told her off for making hurtful comments - my Mum takes it all in & believes it.
I can see that Nan is just taking out her frustration / anger on people she is jealous of - she wishes she was young again & could have a boyfriend.
When i challenge her she usually has (conveniently) forgotten what she has said that was so hurtful & then tries to make up for her behaviour (she always regrets it).
So take your GM's words lightly - she may well have been feeling bitter & intending to hurt your feelings when she said you are ugly.
Some men have said horrible things to me in the past - but i realise now that they had motives behind their behaviour; or were actually trying to 'joke' (ha-bloody-ha). Men don't often understand how hurtful their 'banter' can be.

I don't believe anyone is ugly.
You are confident & dress well - those are huge plus points - men like women who are confident, approachable & attractive.
A nice, pleasant smile & friendly, kind personality are what make a person attractive.
Stylish clothes, a decent hairstyle, & nice make up help a lot - & it sounds like you manage that already.
Weight can be lost - even if you never get slim you can be 'curvy but toned' with some weight training & a healthy diet... that's what i aim for.

Write down your plus points under the headings 'personality' & 'looks'.
Any compliments - write them down.
You will have positives on the 'looks' side - do you have nice eyes, nice hair, good skin? What is your basic body shape? Enhance your good features.

Finally get interests & hobbies or do voluntary work so you have things to talk about... think of what you enjoy & get involved. If you are happy, then you will be attractive.