Yes, another laundry thread, but he actually suggested I ask to find out who is the unreasonable one...! I'll try and get background in because it's probably relevant to my recent response to our conflict, but skip to the end if you don't want to read it all!
Long term background: when we first moved in together (or actually, started spending more than just weekends together at my/our first house) we agreed that I would cook and he would clean. However, although previously we both did our own and the other's laundry at our respective houses, once he moved into my/our house fulltime, he stopped doing any at all which annoyed me slightly but wasn't a huge deal.
Several months later: baby arrived, all went to chaos, we got a cleaner. I eventually started cooking again, he rarely cleaned. He still never did laundry and I found doing it all, plus baby-vomit-bibs/clothes and nappies quite a strain with a clingy baby.
Now: cleaner's back went and she quit, we don't yet have a new one. I get home from work first and cook every day, often with a tired whingy toddler on my hip/clinging to my legs before he gets home from work. He'll do the kitchen when I point out that it's too disgusting/short on pans for me to cook tomorrow or sometimes just when he gets around to it. The surfaces have honestly not been properly clean in about a month. We both contribute to tidying the rest of the house.
The problem: I resentfully still do most of the laundry (hers and mine is fine, his I don't like doing) but have been pointing out for ages that he doesn't tend to put his clothes away and I have no intention of doing so when I have enough of mine and child's to do.
On three occassions I have said that if he doesn't get his clothes out of the clean-clothes basket so I can use it again/separate clean from dirty on the floor so I don't have to wash things twice, I will stop doing his laundry. Final warnings have been required.
On the fourth time he'd left clean clothes I'd washed and sorted for him in the basket, I just stopped. He didn't notice for a while because his mother came to visit while I was away and did all his laundry for him. When he did eventually notice he told me I was unreasonable not to give a final warning as I had before. I said that my policy was clear and he should respect me enough to notice my efforts and at least put the clothes away. When I most recently asked for hte basket as I needed it to empty the washing machine, he wanted to know if the load included any of his, as why should he make it available otherwise.
So ... who is being unreasonable? I'm feeling like a domestic servant (serve him food daily, been expected to do his laundry despite total lack of acknowledgement of it from him) and pretty sick of it.