To want to see what I am paying for with regards to my DD's ballet lessons?

[tangofan]

Hi Ladies

This may have come up before but I was wondering what other peoples' thoughts are with ballet lessons in terms of why parents are not allowed to spectate. My 4 yr old goes to weekly lessons and even when I initially enquired and asked if she would be able to watch a lesson to see if she might like it we were told from the start that we - including her - would not be allowed to.
She did some "modern dance" lessons last year - and the same strict rule applied - but we were at least allowed to watch the last lesson of the term but this time no such invitation has been forthcoming for next week's final lesson.
This rule seems to be the norm, and none of the other parents seem to question the fact that we pay our money, the children disappear behind closed doors and re-appear half an hour later. I don't know what they are doing, whether my DD is enjoying it, etc (obviously I ask her, and she seems to be happy enough but cant usually even remember any moves to show me)and I can't therefore make any judgement about whether or not it is worthwhile.
If it is to protect the children, why doesn't that apply to other types of lessons, like swimming/karate,etc??

Can anyone enlighten me? And is it wrong to want to see what I'm paying for?

What did they say when you asked them?

DD has been doing ballet for seven years. We get to watch once a year on a watching day and go to the show they put on in a theatre.

I think it is fair enough. It would be distracting if parents stayed.

If it is a proper ballet school teaching proper ballet, then presumably you will know they are doing it properly because the older girls will have passed ballet exams.

Is there not an end of year show?
Closely followed by hugely expensive DVD that DD watches over and over again.

Think its because having parents there can disrupt the flow of the class and some kids get upset. If I'm there all DD wants to do is sit on my lap.

I think it's quite nice that DD has something for herself, away from me.

I used t oteach young children dance (similar age) and without fail if a parent stayed to watch the child would freeze/be silly/and really not do much despite the fact that when they were alone they were quite happy. Parents peeking through the door were also really disruptive.
However it it nice for the parent s to be invited at the end of term to see their progress.
The thing with baleet is you won't really see any progress for about 3 or 4 more years. So you feel you are watching the same thing term after term.
If your daughter seems happy when she comes out and the teacher says she is I would be happy with that and ask for an end of term display.
The teacher will tell you if she is not happy as no teacher wants unhappy children in the class.

Because most dance studios are really very small and parents can be very distracting.

When my lot used to do ballet, there would be 'watching week' at the end of each term, where parents could stay and watch. As juniorant says above, this was often the most disrupted class of the term, as all the girls wanted a cuddle with mum or messed around just because their parents were there.

We were quite lucky though - the room where they did their class had windows in the doors, so we could peek in during the rest of the term .

And yes, there was the ridiculously expensive annual show, when we had to spend a fortune on costumes and make the children up like they were entering a beauty pageant....

The dance school my dc attend has watch week twice a year and without fail there is a child who cries and clings to their parent during that lesson. I should imagine they concentrate far better without a lot of parents sat watching week after week. You will know if they are making progress when they take exams or perform in a show.

Well, you don't expect to sit in their classrooms all day, do you?

It's disruptive for them and their ballet teacher. If you're that fussed, ask about exam pass rates or, as other posters have said, talk to the ballet teacher (at an appropriate time, don't just pounce on her 5 minutes before class starts).

I do think classes like these should offer taster sessions or an open day, just so anyone who doesn't like it finds out before their parents have forked out a term's fees...

I don't think YABU to want to view the occassional lesson. DD does ballet and we are invited to watch the last lesson of term though we are otherwise actively banned discouraged. It is distracting especially for the younger ones and its obvious from what she's showing me at home she's learning things so I'm quite happy

I used to teach dancing - including ballet - and usually there would be one lesson at the end of year the parents could come and sit in and watch.

If the parents are present you do get issues with kids waving / not paying attention / playing up to get attention / parents talking / parents eating or drinking / parents interrupting to ask questions / parents bringing other children into the class who then cry or want to run around / having to shepherd parents and kids out quickly at the end of the class as you have a new load coming in - it is chaos.

Ballet is quite complicated (even as a 4 year old) and they need all attention on the teacher. Check your teacher is qualified and see if they do exams as they get older. Otherwise let her get on with it.

I've found with the properly ran places, that at the beginning there was always a "taster" of some sort where the DCs get to join in & we get to watch - at such a young age especially, I would be a bit dubious of any school not offering that - especially as on one occasion we took DD to start what was meant to be a well known & very professional outfit, yet they were flouting H&S rules left right & centre - that was confirmed on reading the guidelines & speaking with another non competitive school.

Some of the various dance, drama, circus, gymnastic groups DD has been involved with over the years do cater for younger DCs more as a "fun" thing, not really teaching per se, but DD has still really enjoyed her time there, so it depends really on what you are looking for - but if you are expecting this class to lead onto other lessons to gain certificates etc, then the school should have evidence of that on either a website, or around the classes on drop off & be affilated with whatever the relevant body is - DD hasn't taken ballet, so I can't tell you what that is, but I'm sure someone will

I personally wouldn't be happy without a taster session, but then its the norm around here & maybe we are just spoilt

It is usual I think to have a watching week every term.

YANBU - I felt the same at my daughters first lesson - we didnt go back - it was strange.

We are invited to watch an exam rehersal twice a year and their show in the local theatre. RAD ballet school with a good reputation.

For pre-primary and primary ballet, parents were permitted to sit in the chairs and watch from the back of the room - large church hall. From Grade 1 onwards, there simply isn't room in the venue the lessons take place in, though if you ask, the teacher has no objections if you want to sit in on the occasional lesson. I've never felt the need to sit in on a lesson.

If your DD is happy to go in alone, and she's happy when she comes back out of the room and that's what everyone else does, I'd let it go. What are the views of the other parents?

It is usual for parents NOT to be allowed to watch, with the exception of a once a term "watching week". As other posters have mentioned, it's terribly distracting for the children to have a parent there. And if your child seems "happy enough", then what is the problem?

Why not request an end-of-year watching day at the school? There are probably lots of parents who would like that too.

We also have a watching week each term and there was a big show earlier in the year. I think you do see some progress, even at the beginning. DD is only five but there is a huge improvement over what she could do when she started just over a year ago. She also got to try out a lesson before she started (the deal was I only paid for the lesson if she wanted to continue).

DD and her friends do smile/wave at their mums and dads in the lesson where we watch but most of them are incredibly good and take it really seriously. There is very little messing around and I've been impressed with the kind but firm approach to getting them to pay attention and listen rather than cuddle their mothers! Having said that, on the odd occasion where someone has been genuinely upset or shy, there was no problem with them running off to sit on their parent's lap for a bit.

Agree that parents watching can be disruptive. Also, allowing parents in outside the official watching day can 'open the floodgates' - you end up with parents, grandparents, siblings running all over the place/eating/playing loud games. If you want your money's worth, I'm sure you'll agree that sort of stuff isn't on. Perhaps find out about exams/shows/watching day?

I only get to watch my daughters perform once a year as the dance school arranges a once-yearly parent performance so parents can see how the girls are doing. Usually they won't let parents stay to watch inside a class. Once I requested, because one of my daughters is very very shy, and they "allowed" me to watch once in the first lesson. And that was it. Parents are also advised not to stand outside the class to watch - the classroom walls are glass panels on one side - because the students get distracted. It makes sense though. I only watch my daughter very unconspicuously now by hiding away at the side of the glass panel so she can't really see me. I find the only way to know I am getting what I paid for, is from the enjoyment my daughters gain from lessons (are they looking forward to each lesson? do they come out of lessons looking refreshed and enthused? etc.) as I don't see any point in putting them in dance classes if they are not liking them. My daughters do RAD and ISTD exams yearly and seeing their results is also another way I gauge if these classes are worth paying for. If they were consistently flunking or something then I would probably take note and find out why. Other than that, I really wouldn't expect a dance school to allow parents to stay and watch regularly - it would distract the girls too much.

It's the norm to only be allowed to watch at the end of term - having loads of parents in the room is a huge distraction, yabu.

Could you ask to stay for 5 minutes one day? Or suggest an end of term 10 min demo of what they've been learning and back this up by saying lots of other parents would like to see it to.

I know what you mean but it would be a nightmare if 16 parents and at least 16 noisy siblings were spectating the lesson every week.

At my dance school, we allow parents of our youngest class (2 and a half for ballet, 4 for tap) to stay all the time. Most do. These classes are held in a big hall, so there is enough space for parents. After that, parents can stay and watch for a taster session (i.e their child's first session) only.

It's distracting for the children, particularly if noisy siblings are brought, and parent doesn't take the baby out when it starts crying. I also find the chatting of parents makes me lose my train of thought when I'm teaching.

I went to dancing lessons from the age of 2, if it is a proper dance school you are not allowed to stay in general, some make exceptions for under 4's.

I don't think parents should be allowed to watch, child get distracted and parents talk lots!

Many clubs are like this, not just dancing.

Agree with the others - DD would hate parents watching every week, it makes her nervous.

DD has done dance classes for four years and there is a parents' watching class once a term, plus an annual show, plus she has done various exams, which she gets practice CDs and instructions for and a feedback sheet afterwards, so I know that she is making progress. Although, tbh, I want her to mainly do it for fun and good posture - and when she started, to make new friends, as she didn't know anyone as we had just moved house.

If your dd is not happy, she will tell you.

Wow - I'm surprised by the number of places that don't let you stay with very young children.
My dd (aged 3) started asking to go to ballet at Easter. After she kept it up for a weeks I found a dance school near us that runs classes for children her age. We went along two weeks ago for the first time. We both sat and watched and I encouraged her to try and join in -she didn't, she was far too shy. If I'd left her she'd have had a melt-down and we wouldn't be going back.
As it is, because I watched, I was able to help her try out some of the moves at home, and she joined in with most of the class this week (I watched again).
All of the other parents stay, and the teacher actively encourages parents to help the children practise some of the dances they have learnt.
The mothers can also help the children with visiting the toilet etc (most of them would struggle on their own, considering the kit they are wearing!)
My view is that I want dd to enjoy it. It's not like having to settle in to nursery without me because I have to go to work, it's a fun, optional activity. If she doesn't want me to leave and would have difficulty settling, I wouldn't take her. As it is, I can stay, she feels a bit more secure, and she is starting to enjoy herself. I think it will be good for her in terms of learning control over her body, but I'm not so worried about her becoming a ballerina, that at 3 years old I feel I have to leave her so that her teacher can have her full concentration in order to learn.
As she gets older, then it will be different, but I'm very glad we attend a more relaxed school!