To remove my ds from creche without giving notice?

[mosschops30]

He has been going for 3 months now. Cries every day, hasnt got any better. After about 6 weeks i gave 4 weeks notice, they asked me to trial him for a further 4 weeks and if i was still unhappy i could take him out.

Anyway that was about 6 weeks ago.

I turned up this morning, manager not there, two members of staff in. You walk into the porch and can see through the window. She obviously didnt see me as she was standing over a toddler, shouting at him so loudly i could hear it through the glass, she turned and saw me then totally changed to speaking more quietly. The surrounding toddlers looked a bit shell shocked. I felt so upset that i couldnt get it out of my mind all day, does she speak to my ds like this? If not, does he have to witness her being like that to other children. She us always very OTT with me but when i picked ds up tonight she didnt even look me in the eye.

I am never taking him back there. I have paid up to end of July. Can they make me pay for another month? We dont have a formal contract as he was originally a health club child (as and when) then became a full timer.

WWYD?

I would pull him out immediately and then explain to the manager why!!

She needs to set up a secret camera for when she is not there.

How awful! No definately don't take him back and make a complaint!

Sorry not sure about the money situation!!

I wold just take I'm out. Send in a letter saying he is unhappy and even after extending the trial period it has not improved. you could also add that you have witnessed the shouting and don't think this environment is suitable for your ds.

I would definitely tell the manager as she really may not know, for the sake of the children still there. I have heard of a similar situation at a pre-school local to me and the manager didn't have any idea but parents started complaining that their children were scared of one of the ladies. She now uses a kind of CCTV to monitor the room when she's not there.

If you don't have a contract outlining notice periods then I don't see how they can make you do anything.

Do you have any record of what was said when you gave notice the first time?

If you can show that you gave nirce, and they agreed to s further trial, which could end with your removing him with no further notice, then you should now be able to do so with no hindrance.

You don't have a contract - so they have no grounds to demand anything as you haven't signed anything!

All nurseries in England must follow the Statutory Framework for the Early Years Foundation Stage framework, which includes requirements for them to:

be registered with and inspected by Ofsted (they will be able to tell you their Ofsted registration number);
undertake Criminal Records Bureau checks for all staff/volunteers;
meet learning goals and assess the progress of the children in their care.
For more information, download the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) pack.

If, after talking to the nursery manager, you do not feel that your problem has been addressed, follow the nursery's complaints procedure - the manager will be able to give you a copy. At the end of the nursery's complaints procedure, if you still don't feel that the issue has been resolved, you can call the Ofsted helpline on 0300 123 1231. They will follow up any complaints made, and can ultimately de-register a service where quality is not meeting the standards required. See Ofsted's factsheet 'Concerns and complaints about childcare providers', available on their website, www.ofsted.gov.uk, for further information.

If you feel that your child's safety is at risk, or there are child protection issues, you should remove them immediately, contact the Child Protection Team at your local authority and/or the police. You can get contact details for your local authority from your local phone directory, or online at www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/Localcouncils. You should also contact the Ofsted helpline and let them know what you have done.

copied from the daycare trust website

Definitely take him out of there.

Poor children.

(Can I ask which one it is, iirc you live near me and I'm looking into places for dd2. Pm if you would rather not say)

I think you should report them to ofsted. That is definitely not on. I would be furious if that was my child she was bullying.

I have written a nice letter to the manager now, outlining our agreement and thanking her for her kindness, professionalism and patience but have said that the incident has left me upset and i cannot let my ds be cared for in that environment.
Thanks all.

I feel so guilty, i dont know why?

You are doing the right thing.

You feel guilty because you are a Mum, it often feels to me like there is always something to feel guilty about, even when I know I do a good job as I'm sure you do.

Hold on to the fact that you are handling it the right way by removing your child, informing the manager, and probably protecting the other children too.

Did you hear what she was shouting about?

No she was just shouting 'YOU DONT DO THAT '.

Dh thinks im going over the top, but i know there are other ways to deal with bad behaviour than shouting at the top of your voice, she wasnt even down on the childs level just standing over them, finger wagging.

Im still disturbed by it now .

so glad he is going to ds1's old lovely childminder

Hmm.. Is there a chance the child did something really dangerous?

I'm just thinking if the child was old enough and it's one of those times when you really do have to get through to a child that they CANNOT do something then she could have been using her cross voice on purpose?

But that's just me playing devils advocate really, and trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Ultimately, if you are not happy leaving your child there then that's all there is to it.

OMG it was awful, the manager was so nice and she was really upset. She said in the 12 years shes run the creche no one has ever refused to return their child .

She said she expects her creche to be run the same whether shes there or not and would be looking into this, she said she was so disappointed that this had happened.

I felt so upset when i left, keep thinking maybe i mis-saw something, maybe id thought it was worse than it was, have i made the right decision etc etc. feel really shitty tonight

She changed her manner when she realised an adult was watching. If she's not happy for someone to witness her treating the children in her care like that, then clearly she doesn't think her behaviour was okay.

You've made the right decision and hopefully that member of staff will get extra training. Something she clearly needs.

So, it's all good! Don't worry or feel guilty.

You did the right thing, especially in telling the manager why you have removed your child.
Hopefully, the staff member will get a warning about how to speak to children.
I work with children and hate to see children being bullied like this- it is so damaging to their self- confidence and their self-esteem.