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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To rein or not to rein

22 replies

bunnywhack · 16/07/2012 16:27

My youngest ds is 5 and I am having huge issues with him running off. Today for instance we were picking older dc's up from school and I was chatting to a mum getting some new info regards an event. He ran off and it took me a good couple of minutes to find him, heart in throat etc still havent calmed down. The thing is this isn't a one off, more like once a day and i do usually watch him like a hawk which i figure is part of the reason for his running. I have explained to him why its dangerous, roads etc (no teachers on gates to stop him going to road) I have tried time outs, missing out on shop treats but nothing gets through, he does have some attention/language issues nothing major and no longer recieves any therapy. WIBU to get some reins for him either as a backpack or regular reins or is 5 to old?

OP posts:

Nymia · 16/07/2012 16:29

You do what you have to do to keep your child safe, IMO.

If he won't listen to you and continually puts himself in danger, then you have to take whatever steps are available to you to keep him safe until he's ready to be trusted not to run off.

ChunkyPickle · 16/07/2012 16:29

With my brother, just the threat of reins was enough to keep him in line.

It might be worth making a fuss of buying some (don't take them out of the pack so you can return them if you don't have to follow through) and letting him know that if he can't be a big boy then he'll have to have reins like a baby?

StrandedBear · 16/07/2012 16:30

Why would he be too old?

Get a backpack then he can carry his own stuff

squeakytoy · 16/07/2012 16:31

Well I would normally say that 5 is far too old, but I would do it to him and tell him if he wants to behave like a baby, he will be treated like a baby.

CMOTDibbler · 16/07/2012 16:32

If he won't comply, then you need reins - I'd do the backpack as then you can keep it on him all the time and just attach the rein if necessary

eosmum · 16/07/2012 16:37

I got a wrist thing for DS, one end goes on his wrist and the other end on mine. I've only actually used it twice, the threat is enough. The first time I used it we were in a huge park with river and ponds, he kept disappearing, I put the reins on him only for 10 minutes but worked perfectly everytime it's mentioned he falls into line.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 16/07/2012 16:40

If it works, do it.
If it is down to his attention issues you need to use whatever you can to keep him safe.
It is down to behavioural stuff you might find out after a few days of being made to wear reins

I would go for the more grown up option though.

Backpack or wrist strap.

RackandRuin · 16/07/2012 16:40

Never needed them for dd, but as soon as ds could run, we used them. As others have said, you do what you need to keep them safe. I suspect that at 5, your get the message quickly and will not be needing them for long.

jellybeans · 16/07/2012 16:45

Littlelife backpack? They do one for 4+. If he runs off get the strap attatched. Once he realises that it may be a deterrant? I sympathise,I have a 3 year old bolter and it is so hard. I often can't go to parks etc with friends as he just runs off and I cant sit and chat. He s getting easer but I can't trust him without reins yet.

Busyoldfool · 16/07/2012 17:13

I used them with DD but DS never needed them as was a clinger. Backpack or wrist strap might be easier to use a t that age but priority has to be safety.

DontEatTheVolesKids · 16/07/2012 17:15

Wrist strap? Doubt reins would fit a 5yo.

Glittertwins · 16/07/2012 17:41

The threat alone is enough to keep them where I need them now. See how you get on I suppose.

Original poster

bunnywhack · 16/07/2012 18:49

Thank you for the replies and not flaming. I am debating between back pack and wrist If I remember right the wrist ones can be quite easy for them to undo where as the backpack could do him for school then clip on the strap when he comes out. I am still resistant to the idea at all if I'm honest and I know he isnt going to be happy but you have helped me come to a decision.

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 16/07/2012 18:53

You should do what you need to do.

You may get a bit of a split opinion on here though, reins and wrist straps tend to polarise opinion for some stupid reason. People don't like that it makes children look like dogs. IMO it is a bloody idiotic perspective to have when these things are lifesavers.

whackamole · 16/07/2012 19:18

TidyDancer I totally agree with you. By twins would both be dead if I hadn't used reins for them. I don't need them anymore, they are good when walking (and we live along a very busy road) but when they were smaller I laughed in the face of anyone telling me to 'just make them walk nicely'. Yeah, right, becuase that's going to happen!

AllDirections · 16/07/2012 19:30

I still have a wrist strap for DD3 who is also 5. I don't need to use it, I just keep it sticking out of my bag and make sure she can see it

Cloudbase · 16/07/2012 21:54

My DS is 4 and I still use a rucksack Littlelife rein with him as he thinks it's jolly hilarious to run away from me.

Once, fairly recently, after I'd parked the car, he unbuckled his car seat, opened the door and ran straight past out our flats and straight across a really busy main road. People were coming out of their flats as I was screaming at him so loudly to stop. It was terrifying and I don't know how he wasn't hit by a car.

Reins all the way, until they learn not to bolt. The alternative is unthinkable.

BambinoBoo · 16/07/2012 22:01

Rein. I was waiting for a bus once with my reined DS and a lady actually came over and said how happy she was to see a toddler on reins. Said her DH had witnessed a child running out in the road (with fatal consequences) after his mum stopped to chat and it had haunted him ever since.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 16/07/2012 22:17

I have had comments on my 3 year old wearing reins.... but he is alive to wear the damn things...

sarahseashell · 16/07/2012 22:20

rucksack with straps thingy - great invention I wish they'd been around when mine little. Or a wrist strap

SoleSource · 16/07/2012 22:22

LOL at the tips. Good advice but funny.

McHappyPants2012 · 16/07/2012 22:27

Your child safety comes first, if reins will keep him safe go for it

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