To feel disgruntled they haven't given me anything!

[Northumberlandlass]

I work in Newcastle and live in a town 22 miles away, I drive in every day (public transport useless as I work 8-5).

2 weeks ago an old friend posted on FB about her car being broken and she was waiting for a new one to be delivered and could anyone give her a lift in the following day. I offered and we went to her flat to collect her the following morning, she asked for a lift back that night. All still fine - although I do go out of my way slightly to collect her / drop her off at home.

I've now done this every day for the last 2 weeks - car apparently being delivered today, so in theory this morning would be the last time she needed a lift.

I know I would be driving into Newcastle anyway, but she must be saving a fortune on petrol / buses! AIBU to think she might of offered me something?

I had to ask work colleagues for lifts for a week at the beginning of the year & bought them all a bottle of wine / card to say thanks!

Then last night I had a message from an acquaintance asking for lifts in / out of Newcastle on Tues/Wed this week....Am I a soft touch?

I really don't mind helping anyone out, I don't want to come across as being unhelpful.

Isityouorme- would you really send that? I'd rather get nothing than have to hint at it.

Even if I did expect maybe something I wouldn't say anything even on here, it just seems grabby.

Depends how good of friends you are as well. I know my best mate wouldn't offer me anything because she knows I wouldn't take it and it'll come her turn to help me out at some point.
If it was a not so good friend I'd probably expect them to offer but wouldn't be particularly arsed if they didn't.

I think my text sends the message, do not ask me again and I shan't put you in an awkward position either.

I'm generous to a fault and grabby is not me. Wait until after Wednesday. If no offer do not help her out again. I think a lift a few times is nothing but two weeks?

My post is not directed at secretplace :)

To be honest if I was going to ask for something I'd send one like yours, not a cringey HINT HINT one.

But I wouldn't ask. If they hadn't got the message themselves then I'd just stop giving them lifts.

Are you going out of your way? (As in incurring extra expense) if you are then she should reimburse you unless you suggested otherwise.

If its not going out of your way (you're spending the same on fuel as you usually would) then you shouldn't expect any money but if you did that for me I'd certainly buy you some wine/chocs whatever and offer to return the favour or babysit or something like that.

Maybe she's planning to give you a thank you gift on the last 'lift day'?

I honestly dont think there is anything you can do!

The woman asked for lifts on facebook. You offered lifts. You were not specifically asked. You volunteered to do this. You knew the score.

No money was agreed, no petrol money, or anything. You will look pretty daft if you start asking for money, or return favours now, or even flowers or wine.

I cannot fathom why on earth you would do that, to a random Facebook acquaintance.

I suppose it comes down to whar can you afford to offer. I wouldn't beable to afford two whole weeks of going out of my way fuel. I'd have to ask in advance. I'm glad some people are lucky enough to have had the oppurtunities in life to earn more money than I not to have to ask for a contribution. So for me no contribution at the start the answer is no lifts.

But if this was causing hardship, OP should have known it would, and she should either not have offered, or negotiated petrol money or some other contribution.

You cant just offer to do something for free, and then expect money for it!

No hardship, not particularly out of my way, I didn't realise it would be for 2 weeks (now over), I did offer because I will help where I can.

I suppose what is bothering me, is that I would offer something after this length of time or bought a bottle of wine. I treat people the way I would like to be treated (I may sound niave). I didn't intend to sound grabby & I don't expect anything for a few lift here and there!!

I totally get you, I would have offered something.

But I would not have asked for lifts on FB though, I would have expected to find my own way to work.

And I reckon the person who ask for favours like this, is not the type of person to offer anything in return for favours.....

it is rude of her- I had lifts for 2 days when my car broke down - in the morning I got to her house and waited on the corner for her - on the way home she offered to take me to my house - I got her a bottle of bacardi as she had mentioned having a cocktails night with her friends -. I wouldn't dream of not offering petrol money/giving a gift!

" *UniS Mon 16-Jul-12 20:04:43

ask her to pick you up on Thursday and friday ... and the next two weeks.* "

Not a bad suggestion, seems fair, you can relax and enjoy the scenery while she drives.

Absolutely agree with iscream text back - Can't wait to see your new car, how exciting... get me at 0815?

Can you enlist one of the others that you're taking (if they're a mate) to say to you (in front of her), "how much do I owe you for petrol?" (maybe you could say to them beforehand you don't actually expect them to pay but would be grateful if they were there to ask that question). You can then reply, oh that's very kind, x amount would do. It might guilt her into asking/offering?

ooo snuffaluffagus that is a good one! In fact the other Liftee from this earlier today, said when he left this morning he has a 'little something' for me! (very kind of him & appreciated - although I don't know what it is).