Re: DD's access to her dad

[PollyGoHome]

A couple things really.

My DD is 5 months old (I also have a 4 yr old DS but not with the same dad). Her dad, exP, sees her around once a week. He hasn't been able to commit to specific days or times due to work, so sometimes doesn't see her for two weeks, maybe even 3, and only asks to see her the day before he wants to. Should or could I insist on something more structured?

I recently moved with the kids to a bigger place. Where we lived before was a 15 min drive from exP. New place is a 30 min drive from him. He drives and I do not, and he's complaining about driving to collect and drop DD off now we Re further away. If I was to drop DD to him, it would mean 3 buses with pram, baby stuff, DD and DS. AIBU to not do the journeys?

And lastly, I'm still providing all baby stuff for exPs time with DD ie bottles, milk, nappies, wipes, everything. He says it's My job to do so as he pays child support (25 pounds a week). Is this right? If not what should I expect him to provide?

Thanks in advance, sorry about all the questions lol!

If he drives then he should pick her up

Not sure about the structure, that would be entirely up to you if you're unhappy without it.

The milk, nappies and wipes I would happily provide as I'd look at it like she'd get through them if she stayed home anyway.

You should, and could, insist on more structured access. Whether he chooses to visit on those days is up to him but as she gets older and into school and with a son to consider too you will need a more rigid routine especially as they start doing extra-curricular activities.

In my situation with school aged children (although we split when one was a baby) we provided the bits ourselves when the children were in our care - so he provided the necessities when they were with him. Now with the ex living 90 miles away he sees them alternate weeks and has on half term holiday, one week at easter, one week at christmas and 2 weeks in the summer (pretty standard access arrangements really). I pay for all extra curricular activities from the maintenance money so it is spent solely on them.

You cannot be at his beck and call but neither can you deny him reasonable access to his child. Ask him to get his shift rotas as far in advance as possible and arrange access a month in advance.