to ask what the hell is wrong with me, i feel like i am having a breakdown

[MistyRocks]

sorry to post on here but more traffic

i was going to name change but sod it i don;t care, some of you are fb friends anyway

i feel so anxious, so up and down, high then really really low. have been on AD's since last september (same dose) and have not missed any pills. but i feel like i am going nuts at the moment. i went on holiday last week but it was awful, i felt claustrophobic in the cottage but then when we went out i just wanted to be back at the cottage i felt permanently sick but it felt like a mental thing rather than physical if that makes sense?

since being back i have just wanted to hide away, my friends have been wanting to meet etc but i can't face anyone. i have ignored texts and made excuses, i am supposed to be going on a night out on friday night but the thought of it is unbearable and even the thought of making excuses to go is stressing me out.
so since fri night have just been with dh and dd all the time but they are both driving me nuts even though they are not doing anything wrong i just irrationally want to scream at them to get the fuck away from me :( (i won't of course)

i am really bored and restless, its like i don't know what to do with myself and i can't make decisions anyway. and feel tearfull all the time and so tired. i have had awful nightmares every night for about 10 days now. i hate myself at the moment for various reasons

i haven't told dh because he doesn't "get" my depression anyway so probably no point. and the thought of going doctors is unbearable because every single one i have seen since being on AD's has been utterly crap :(

You might need a bigger dose, or you might have an anxiety type thing that is treated better with beta blockers or something, you really can't do much without seeing a doctor, and I think perhaps you need to find a new one if you don't get any joy from the ones from your current surgery.

I went on AD's and felt some improvement, but then sort of tailed off so they doubled the dose - this kind of thing should be picked up during a routine medication review anyway. I'd go back personally. That not being able to relax or enjoy holidays etc etc is textbook. You need a bit "more" help is all.

Sounds more like anxiety than depression. Anti-depressants won't work if that is the case because anxiety is about the brain and body speeding up as opposed to the slowing down which comes with depression. I was on anti-depressants for years because I was incorrectly diagnosed with depression. Once the anxiety was identified, I was taken off them, given CBT and relaxation methods and began to feel better for the first time.

See my husband is "anxious" - its kinda job related, hard to switch off, trying to get new business in tough market type stress - and his doc put him on beta blockers because he said he didn't feel depressed or despondent, just "fight/flight" syndrome all the time - sort of that knot of fear in the pit of your stomach, even though there is no present "threat". Hard to live like that. The Beta blockers block the sort of adrenhiline response and make him feel more "even". In the long term he needs to tackle the cause but we are working on that.

Me however, I was stressed and moody but sort of despondent and negative and "dark cloud" ish.

You can of course have both.

Go back.

Me however, I was stressed and moody but sort of despondent and negative and "dark cloud" ish

thats me dunkhey

Straight back to the docs for you I'd say - it may be something as simple as a different type of medication. You can't go on feeling so miserable though so do get yourself down there asap.